Doktor Howl's Secret Enemies List, with commentary.

[Cainad (dec.)]

Oh come now Dok, some of these secret enemies aren't even real.

I mean, what the hell is a "Cainad."

Sounds like a "Canadian" who got their "an" lopped off and the only way the doctors could stop the bleeding was to take the dangling "i" and suture it in, right in front of his right-hand "nad."

[Don Coyote]

I AM NOT WELSH

[Phox]

Damn you, Coyote Knight! Stop changing your goddamn name! This is why we hate you! 

[Don Coyote]

Damn you, Coyote Knight! Stop changing your goddamn name! This is why we hate you! 

What is...no?

NO!!!!

[Don Coyote]

Coyote says, the first rule of Coyote is you do not reference him outside of TCC.

[Phox]

 

That's what I thought your avatar was at first. But now you say it's just a stupid wolf. Well, Coyote and Fox are both disappointed in you, Shitty.

[Don Coyote]

That's what I thought your avatar was at first. But now you say it's just a stupid wolf. Well, Coyote and Fox are both disappointed in you, Shitty.

Why would Coyote let himself used as a mount by a man in armor? That is what Wolf is for. Heavy lifting.

[Don Coyote]

That's what I thought your avatar was at first. But now you say it's just a stupid wolf. Well, Coyote and Fox are both disappointed in you, Shitty.

Why would Coyote let himself used as a mount by a man in armor? That is what Wolf is for. Heavy lifting.

And...I might possibly have pissed off Wolf.

[Phox]

That's what I thought your avatar was at first. But now you say it's just a stupid wolf. Well, Coyote and Fox are both disappointed in you, Shitty.

Why would Coyote let himself used as a mount by a man in armor? That is what Wolf is for. Heavy lifting.

And...I might possibly have pissed off Wolf.

You have a point, Shitty. But that doesn't mean I forgive you for changing your name. 

[Prince Glittersnatch III]

Lord Glittersnatch:  Isn't too fucking nice all the time.

More to follow.

Im not sure what to make of this.

[Elder Iptuous]

....
Ippie:  Has more guns than me, from appearances.
....

Aaaahhhh....
so that's why you refuse to give me your address!
and i thought it was that you just didn't like me...
fear.  
that offends my sensibilities much less...

[Phox]

....
Ippie:  Has more guns than me, from appearances.
....

Aaaahhhh....
so that's why you refuse to give me your address!
and i thought it was that you just didn't like me...
fear.  
that offends my sensibilities much less...

No, that's why your his enemy. If I had to guess why you don't have his address, it would probably be because you smell.

[Elder Iptuous]

....
Ippie:  Has more guns than me, from appearances.
....

Aaaahhhh....
so that's why you refuse to give me your address!
and i thought it was that you just didn't like me...
fear.  
that offends my sensibilities much less...

No, that's why your his enemy. If I had to guess why you don't have his address, it would probably be because you smell.

no need for him to be bashful in that regard.
i actually can't smell.
this beautiful nose is strictly decorative!  hard to believe, no?
well, it's true.  and it's really a blessing more than a curse, because it allows me to go on thinking that women never fart, and to enjoy the presence of such interesting individuals as the Dok without fear of unceremoniously wretching due to his natural Yeti musk.

[Phox]

....
Ippie:  Has more guns than me, from appearances.
....

Aaaahhhh....
so that's why you refuse to give me your address!
and i thought it was that you just didn't like me...
fear.  
that offends my sensibilities much less...

No, that's why your his enemy. If I had to guess why you don't have his address, it would probably be because you smell.

no need for him to be bashful in that regard.
i actually can't smell.
this beautiful nose is strictly decorative!  hard to believe, no?
well, it's true.  and it's really a blessing more than a curse, because it allows me to go on thinking that women never fart, and to enjoy the presence of such interesting individuals as the Dok without fear of unceremoniously wretching due to his natural Yeti musk.

Oh. Well, if that's the case, I have no idea why he wouldn't share his address with you. I mean, enemy or no, he could easily lure you into a devious trap in his own home. ORRRR.... he could give you a fake address that is really a devious trap. Hmm. Maybe he's simply thinking of the right devious trap for you.

[Elder Iptuous]

"I always think everything could be a trap.  That is why i am still alive!"
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