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TESTEMONAIL:  Right and Discordianism allows room for personal interpretation. You have your theories and I have mine. Unlike Christianity, Discordia allows room for ideas and opinions, and mine is well-informed and based on ancient philosophy and theology, so, my neo-Discordian friends, open your minds to my interpretation and I will open my mind to yours. That's fair enough, right? Just claiming to be discordian should mean that your mind is open and willing to learn and share ideas. You guys are fucking bashing me and your laughing at my theologies and my friends know what's up and are laughing at you and honestly this is my last shot at putting a label on my belief structure and your making me lose all hope of ever finding a ideological group I can relate to because you don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about and everything I have said is based on the founding principals of real Discordianism. Expand your mind.

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EoC's World of Dispatching

Started by Eater of Clowns, September 30, 2010, 01:32:55 AM

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Suu

#15
December 20, 2010, 01:54:08 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on December 20, 2010, 01:52:27 AM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on December 20, 2010, 12:30:31 AM
Like I figured, it could be a few months between updates, but this is a good one:


We just took a call from a local police department requesting our K9 officer for a track.  The situation is that a guy dressed as Santa Claus just unslung a rifle from his back and robbed a bar.

:lulz:

Now that's proper holiday spirit. Was that guy from Tuscon?

Worse. New Bedford.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Eater of Clowns

#16
December 22, 2010, 02:12:44 AM
We just took an ambulance call for a woman who used mouthwash and is complaining of it burning.

I.  I just.

  :asplode:
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Jasper

#17
December 22, 2010, 02:17:41 AM
Hhhhhhh...

Adios

#18
December 22, 2010, 06:22:34 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on December 22, 2010, 02:12:44 AM
We just took an ambulance call for a woman who used mouthwash and is complaining of it burning.

I.  I just.

  :asplode:

:lulz:
Arrest the mouthwash!

Eater of Clowns

#19
December 22, 2010, 11:46:19 PM
Got an ambulance call.  Nothing physically wrong with the guy.  He's taking the ride because he doesn't know what else to do, and he's in no right mind to think of something.  Hearing him screaming in the back, I'm not sure he even could think of anything.

He'd just fatally struck a pedestrian.
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Phox

#20
December 23, 2010, 12:06:25 AM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on December 22, 2010, 11:46:19 PM
Got an ambulance call.  Nothing physically wrong with the guy.  He's taking the ride because he doesn't know what else to do, and he's in no right mind to think of something.  Hearing him screaming in the back, I'm not sure he even could think of anything.

He'd just fatally struck a pedestrian.
:x

Suu

#21
December 23, 2010, 12:10:24 AM
Sounds like a standard issue of shock to me.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Jasper

#22
December 23, 2010, 01:53:00 AM
Extreme limbic arousal.

Requires prefrontal lobotomy.

Highly surgical.

Eater of Clowns

#23
February 21, 2011, 03:49:09 AM
Ambulance call:  Patient swallowed a grape whole and is complaining of feeling like it's stuck in her upper asophagus.
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Eater of Clowns

#24
March 02, 2011, 09:00:47 PM
They just informed two K9 officers their positions are being terminated.  They either have to become correctional officers or they're out of jobs.

One of them is eight weeks from retirement.
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Suu

#25
March 02, 2011, 09:01:43 PM
WTF. They have to do something for that guy.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Richter

#26
March 02, 2011, 09:23:39 PM
That's fucked.

Hope the guy close to retirement get's the cushiest possible run as a corrections officer for his last 8 weeks.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

Jenne

#27
March 02, 2011, 09:24:21 PM
Ugh.  Signs of the times, I guess.  :( 

Eater of Clowns

#28
March 02, 2011, 11:00:34 PM
Wasn't done to save money.  Their positions were even posted as available before they were informed, with the assumption the department was actually growing.

Nope, staying the same, and going to some guys more likely to play ball a bit better.

I don't particularly like either of them, or care to work with them, but still, you just don't do that.
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Jenne

#29
March 03, 2011, 08:05:09 PM
Ah.  Politics, then.   THAT is a whole other ball o' wax.
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