A Pickled Past: The Brief History of a Doomed Cucumber

[Disco Pickle]

this entire god damn story is becoming harder to tell the closer I get to the conclusion.  I felt the need to get it out somewhere, and figured you dicks, for all your opinion on duh world, would let me get it out.  for that, I thank you.


(SPOILER: BRUCE WILLIS IS DEAD)


I'll finish it now quickly for anyone reading and wanting the end game.  

Mom died a year ago on September 17th.  She made it to 49 years of age before her liver failed her.  The combination of opiate pills and excessive amounts of alcohol finally finished her.  

She resembled a pumpkin as she lay in that room..  I tried to convince her that if she could just pull through, then Id gladly put a candle in her mouth and use her as a jack-o-lantern..

she'd have appreciated this joke if she hadn't been dying of liver failure.  She's still the funniest woman I've ever known.

she didn't.   it was the hardest thing I've yet to deal with, even considering everything that came before.

I appreciate you fucks dealing with my life-vomit and not fucking with me about it.  I tried to write it with a thought to the narrative, considering the audience.

Without going into too much more detail than I already have:  My sister and I  are fucking anomalies for children of the 70's generation that were crippled cocaine addicts.  sis is having a hard time with the exit of our mother from the planet.   Her drinking habits ring a bell.

I haven't decided how best to approach this yet.

as for me, well..

I jumped around for a few years career wise, drug wise..    never finished college,  worked in Mexico for two years and ended up falling for a girl..  turns out after she got pregnant, she decided she didn't want to move to the states. (couldn't blame her)

I am back here in the states and currently a 3d design guy for a local low and medium voltage switchgear company only because I taught myself the software in my spare time.

so when Howl jumps on my shit for being a librarian I don't take offense..   FFS man after my childhood how could you take ANYTHING as offense..  

I was a librarian before being a librarian was cool.   


how can my talk NOT be influenced by my own experience and triumphs against-all-odds?

DP: never forgets he's an anomaly in the system.  

as fucked up sad as this entire thread might otherwise be to anyone else reading it, I assure you that I spend every day being awesome.  Or at the least, doing my best.

I would be perfectly OK if a MOD just locked this thread after this post.

thanks for reading PD.

FTR: I embraced Absurdism as a philosophy long before I found you spags..  PD.com is likely just synchronicity.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Wow... that was an intense story. Thank you for sharing it with us.

[Disco Pickle]

Wow... that was an intense story. Thank you for sharing it with us.

i had to leave out the last 10 years.  shit was just too much to recall and put down.

hope it helps anyone thinking that life is a bitch and maybe needed some perspective on how it could have been worse.

it's all, of course, subjective...

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Wow... that was an intense story. Thank you for sharing it with us.

i had to leave out the last 10 years.  shit was just too much to recall and put down.

hope it helps anyone thinking that life is a bitch and maybe needed some perspective on how it could have been worse.

it's all, of course, subjective...

My childhood was worse. Life is still a bitch. It's not so bad now, but it's still a bitch ATM.

But it was still an excellent and very moving story, and provided an insight into the kind of strong and most likely very mature person you are.