SPIDERS II: Electric Boogalo (the search for Curly's gold)

[LMNO]

GOOD MORNING.

Voting is open.

Sig - 4
Pho - 2

Five votes are needed.

There's a good chance I won't be back until Noon, so let's put that as the cutoff time.

[Triple Zero]

Voting for Sigmatic.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Memo from Matt's Lawyer:

You can't vote. You're not a citizen. I might have a duty to report you to Homeland.

-Benton Pennysworth, Esq.

[Don Coyote]

Voting 4 Sig

Sig 5
Pho 2

I wants someone to be gones.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

I vote Sig...

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Memo from Matt's lawyer:

Matt says, "Oh now everyone is in enough agreement to ship someone off." Matt, by the way is doing very well by the way, and is looking forward to possibly getting a new cell mate. His previous cell mate, whom he converted in prison, has been let out on parole, and is now trying to subvert the citizens of another City out of state.

-Benton Pennysworth, Esq

[LMNO]

"All right, that's just too much of a coincidence." Bob looked around at the group.  "Somebody tipped off the Ministry."  Shocked faces stared back at him. 

"Why the hell would we do that?" asked Ian.

"Who can say why anyone does anything?" he replied.  "Maybe someone cut a deal.  Everyone, empty your pockets."

"Why?"

"For evidence, dammit!  If you're not guilty, you have nothing to fear, right?"

Reluctantly, they began to reach into their pockets, purses, and coats.

Oliver: Pack of gum, seventeen cents in loose change, condom.
Ian: Car keys, flyer for a strip club, yo-yo.
Larry: Cigarettes, pocket copy of Aristophanes' "The Clouds".
Chuck: Flask of whiskey, toothpick, reading glasses.
Frankie: Cassette tape of Bryan Adams, tampons.
Ralph: Thumb drive, ball point pen, Jolly Rancher candies.
Alice: Mace, cell phone, condom.

"Well, I thought that idea would work," said Bob.  "I guess we're going to have to find another way."

"Hold on," said Ian.  "Bob, what about you?"

"Me?  Oh, just this wallet," he replied, holding it up.  "Damn!"  The wallet slipped from his fingers and fell open, half-revealing a red badge that read "-ISTRY".

Alice gasped.  "It's you!"

Sigmatic chuckled.  "Lucky guess.  NOW I WILL BREAK YOUR BONES UNDER MY BOOTS."

"no."

Spoken quietly, Chuck stepped forward.  "You are not real.  Do you hear me?  Not real.  All of this, all the paranoia and fear, isn't you.  It's us.  We are the Machine™, all of us, and we are responsible for ourselves.  You didn't do this to us.  We did it to ourselves.  So, I say to you: 'Go away.  You are not wanted'."  Chuck closed his eyes, and thought to himself, I am the owner of my life.  I will not serve.

When he opened his eyes again, Sigmatic was gone.  A sharp ray of sunlight broke through the clouds and illuminated the spot where he had been standing.  Bending down, he saw a small spider scurrying away.  Lifting his foot, he muttered, "What was that you were saying about boots?"



Game over.  The Citizens won.


NOW GET BACK TO WORK.

[Jasper]

Fucking lucky guess.  I will destroy you all, one fine day.

Kisses,
Siggie

[bds]

WHICH ONE WAS IIIII

ALSO: SIGGIE = PWND

[Jasper]

I believe you were Frankie.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Memo from Matt's lawyer:

Good news guys, looks like they're dropping all charges against Matt due to lack of evidence. He wasn't really having a good time in prison, just thought it would be a nice lie. He's actually quite traumatized. You should buy him a beer.

-Benton Pennysworth, Esq

[Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ]

[Nephew Twiddleton]

The funny thing is that I started suspecting Phox- I failed to convert her the first time, and in the round that we voted off Dok, she PMed me to ask me to convert her. I had chosen Rumckle at first, but decided to go for Phox after all, since she did seem to believe me and was voting for Dok. But afterwards I started to think maybe she was the third spider and wanted me to try and convert her in case the Machine was unable to haul me off and went along with voting for Dok to throw the scent off her trail.

[Jasper]

Earlier, when I had just learned that I was the spider, there was a huge amount of spidery proliferation in my neighborhood.  One tree had so many spider webs that they were almost touching.  I stopped and watched one as it laid the foundations for a web.  I was surprised at their ingenuity for getting around huge chasms with only their ass-cables.  They're really incredible creatures, even if they are godless little murder machines.  I saw one web that, due to some odd chance, had two spiders.  One big huge one, one smaller one of the same species.  They were facing off on a long stretch of web that was anchored across a gap between shrubs.  They fought for a bit.  The small one was more ferocious, and the bigger one decided to just cut the line and run back to the web.  

[Phox]

I wasn't a spider, and people didn't try to kill me! I declare this a moral victory for Phox! 

Also Blight, I did the math for you in the PM.  I was well aware that you probably weren't going to trust me, but fortunately, we managed to get by with.... 0 Discordians.