Another ATTN Dok Howl Thread

[Richter]

Damnit, what in the name of "Bob"'s overpriced salvation did you do to my cell phone?

The message was horribly horrible, and equally horribly garbled by failing signal repeater infrastructure.  Somehting about drinking whiskey with Beonce, then waking up form rohypnol next to a garbled garble.  (trio of fiendish sex midgets on cocaine with "Lazy Town" character masks, is what dramatic license tells me.)
A few other bits, and a suggestion I move to Tucson.

I listened to this on my morning break, and I suddenly need more coffee and a shit.  A long, hard, sanity restoring shit.  It will never be right again after that message, but then again, things were never right to begin with. 

Hork Barf Spit.

[Doktor Howl]

Damnit, what in the name of "Bob"'s overpriced salvation did you do to my cell phone?

The message was horribly horrible, and equally horribly garbled by failing signal repeater infrastructure.  Somehting about drinking whiskey with Beonce, then waking up form rohypnol next to a garbled garble.  (trio of fiendish sex midgets on cocaine with "Lazy Town" character masks, is what dramatic license tells me.)
A few other bits, and a suggestion I move to Tucson.

I listened to this on my morning break, and I suddenly need more coffee and a shit.  A long, hard, sanity restoring shit.  It will never be right again after that message, but then again, things were never right to begin with. 

Hork Barf Spit.

You should switch cell phones, then.  A partial blessing is worse than a curse, as it gets all tangled up in the Luck Plane, which will then tilt so far away from you that you'll be shitting vindaloo for 3 years, whether or not you eat any.

[Richter]

My coffee cup will not empty, and I am compeleted to drink.  The caffeine screams though my veins as I jabber and prophesize.  Azathoth wears my mind like a glove!

Co workers ask me for advice, but I can only reveal horrors that make them scream and put out their own eyes.  All drawers that are opened reveal only yawning abysses or tumbles of carrion beetles

[Doktor Howl]

My coffee cup will not empty, and I am compeleted to drink.  The caffeine screams though my veins as I jabber and prophesize.  Azathoth wears my mind like a glove!

Co workers ask me for advice, but I can only reveal horrors that make them scream and put out their own eyes.  All drawers that are opened reveal only yawning abysses or tumbles of carrion beetles

Well, that's what you get for shitty cell phone service.