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Calamari WTF?

Started by Salty, October 17, 2010, 07:22:34 AM

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Salty

I enjoy calamari. I enjoy fried foods of all shapes and sizes and it'll probably kill me in the end considering my family history.

Anyhow, I ordered some tonight to go along with the beer I was drinking and it was the chewiest, nastiest li'l baby squid I've ever had. Blech. Gonna get a cheeseburger NAO.

My question is WTF happened? What does this to delicious food? How does one prepare calamari properly?
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

East Coast Hustle

#1
it was chewy because it was overcooked. Calamari (which doesn't necessarily have to be fried, BTW) should be fried hot and quick. If the batter turns from light gold to light brown, you've probably ruined it.

If it tasted like ammoniated old semen, then it also wasn't even remotely fresh. you can usually tell how fresh it is by taking the breading off a piece. If the squid ring is starting to turn reddish or purplish, it's been sitting for a while and the pigments have started to bleed out.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

Salty

Are there better ways of preparing it as opposed to frying it?

It looks pale and sickly with hints of brown.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

East Coast Hustle

I think it's best deep-fried, but I've had sauteed versions that I like as well. Those are really the only two options though. Like I said, it has to be done hot and fast. Sort of like sex with a co-worker.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

Salty

Oh man the staff all just gave me weird looks after I lol'd at that. That may have something to do with several of my very hot coworkers that I simply ignore 'cause that shit gets nasty.

How fresh does it have to be to be good? I think I can do better than the what these people served me.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

E.O.T.

Quote from: First City Hustle on October 17, 2010, 07:27:06 AM
it was chewy because it was overcooked. Calamari (which doesn't necessarily have to be fried, BTW) should be fried hot and quick. If the batter turns from light gold to light brown, you've probably ruined it.

If it tasted like ammoniated old semen, then it also wasn't even remotely fresh. you can usually tell how fresh it is by taking the breading off a piece. If the squid ring is starting to turn reddish or purplish, it's been sitting for a while and the pigments have started to bleed out.

O.K.

          this whole thread disturbs me, but the details of this response border on sick & wrong
"a good fight justifies any cause"

East Coast Hustle

Quote from: Alty on October 17, 2010, 07:37:04 AM
Oh man the staff all just gave me weird looks after I lol'd at that. That may have something to do with several of my very hot coworkers that I simply ignore 'cause that shit gets nasty.

How fresh does it have to be to be good? I think I can do better than the what these people served me.

unless you were at a super high-end place, there's a 99.99% chance that calamari came in frozen. Which is fine, squid freezes quite well and the flash-freezing doesn't compromise the quality of the flesh at all. So there's no excuse for not having it be fresh given that you can hold it frozen since it will thaw in about a minute or two when dunked in room-temperature water. Unless the place has a chef so stupid that he doesn't realize you can get the calamari IQF (that stands for individually quick frozen) which means that the individual rings and heads are frozen so that they can be portioned out frozen rather than buying a big lumpy block of frozen rings where you have to thaw the entire block to get one portion and hope you sell the rest quickly enough.

Short version, it should ALWAYS be fresh. If it's not, go somewhere else.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

Sir Squid Diddimus

I've seen stuffed calamari recipes that look really good. They stuff the tubes with rice, veg and usually the tentacles or other meat, then cook them in a tomato based sauce

Adios


East Coast Hustle

I make a dish where the squid tubes are stuffed with cherry tomatos, feta cheese, and fresh marjoram, then skewered shut at the end, oiled/salted/peppered, and grilled on high heat until the outside of the tubes is just lightly charred. it's awesome.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

Sir Squid Diddimus

That sounds good.
I would try it.


I'm not a big squid fan (foodwise), but hell, some of these dishes just look really good. I'd be a fool not to try them.

Elder Iptuous

Quote from: Sir Squid Diddimus on October 18, 2010, 04:37:00 PM
I've seen stuffed calamari recipes that look really good. They stuff the tubes with rice, veg and usually the tentacles or other meat, then cook them in a tomato based sauce

hah!
this makes me hope that if i'm ever cooked up and served to someone, my limbs are stuffed inside my torso for them.
i don't know why, but that just tickles me.  also insert yo dawg joke here...