ATTN, CRAMULUS (EVERYONE ELSE GTFO)

[Doktor Howl]

You're a cunt.

Having read your intercepted emails, we now know you're refusing to release your cure for the butt-syphilis epidemic that is ravaging the Southwest.  I rather suspect that you CREATED the disease...After all, it's hardly a coincidence that the epidemic began less than a week after we voted down the proposal to ship all our diabetics to your "facilities" in upstate New York.

You heartless fucking monster.

Okay for now,
Dok

[Cramulus]

I fucked up!

I know it, and I am prepared to own it.

I was sick of facebook, right? so I was trying to launch this project called BUTTBOOK. But then the firewall started catching these butts and everybody was getting burned. SICK BURNED. I mean the entire website seemed to be a troll factory. You encourage people to participate just so you can flame them. Everything was going fine. And then BAM, it spread into the real world.

But fuck it. BUT FUCK IT. Other people would be ASHAMED to operate a website that actually causes STDs. Before BUTTBOOK nobody thought you could get a disease from the internet, everybody thought internet viruses were a digital thing. I've discovered something awful and terrible. And I'm done hiding.

I am fucking PROUD of this horrible thing

GO REGISTER AT BUTTBOOK, I DARE YOU

[Doktor Howl]

Okay, just so we're all clear on it.

Should you receive any packages from AZ, I suggest you call the CDC, or Glenn Beck (he's full of useful suggestions).