How Discordianism Got Me a Free Cup of Coffee

[Doktor Howl]

Right... I'll attempt to convert the units sometime before Christmas

Will it look like mud? If it doesn't he'll know there's something up

Yes, and it will smell of chocolate and fear.

I'll just tell him I forgot to put the milk in first, that'll cover any sort of suspicions he has

Tell him it's mocha.

He doesn't have any heart problems or high blood pressure, does he?

[Freeky]

Right... I'll attempt to convert the units sometime before Christmas

Will it look like mud? If it doesn't he'll know there's something up

Yes, and it will smell of chocolate and fear.

It won't SMELL like The Fear, it'll just taste like it.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

That is not the recipe you gave me, but my assertion of not trying stands.

We've been developing it.

SCIENCE is not static.  It grows.

No drugs in this newer recipe? 

[Doktor Howl]

Right... I'll attempt to convert the units sometime before Christmas

Will it look like mud? If it doesn't he'll know there's something up

Yes, and it will smell of chocolate and fear.

It won't SMELL like The Fear, it'll just taste like it.

Nonsense.  I can smell the fear and the horror and the death of worlds when we make that shit.

[Doktor Howl]

That is not the recipe you gave me, but my assertion of not trying stands.

We've been developing it.

SCIENCE is not static.  It grows.

No drugs in this newer recipe? 

Of course not.  We are men of SCIENCE, not drug-addled Scotsmen.

[Hanni]

I'll just tell him I forgot to put the milk in first, that'll cover any sort of suspicions he has

Tell him it's mocha.

He doesn't have any heart problems or high blood pressure, does he?

Not that I know of at the minute...

[Nephew Twiddleton]

That is not the recipe you gave me, but my assertion of not trying stands.

We've been developing it.

SCIENCE is not static.  It grows.

No drugs in this newer recipe? 

Of course not.  We are men of SCIENCE, not drug-addled Scotsmen.

True enough. A Scotsman would never venture out into Arizona.

[Freeky]

Right... I'll attempt to convert the units sometime before Christmas

Will it look like mud? If it doesn't he'll know there's something up

Yes, and it will smell of chocolate and fear.

It won't SMELL like The Fear, it'll just taste like it.

Nonsense.  I can smell the fear and the horror and the death of worlds when we make that shit.

I can smell the future when we make that. It smells like me vibrating at 1000 hertz.

[Doktor Howl]

That is not the recipe you gave me, but my assertion of not trying stands.

We've been developing it.

SCIENCE is not static.  It grows.

No drugs in this newer recipe? 

Of course not.  We are men of SCIENCE, not drug-addled Scotsmen.

True enough. A Scotsman would never venture out into Arizona.

Fact.  Scotsmen burst into flame when exposed to direct sunlight, much like flash paper.

[Doktor Howl]

I'll just tell him I forgot to put the milk in first, that'll cover any sort of suspicions he has

Tell him it's mocha.

He doesn't have any heart problems or high blood pressure, does he?

Not that I know of at the minute...

No epilepsy, right?

[Doktor Howl]

Right... I'll attempt to convert the units sometime before Christmas

Will it look like mud? If it doesn't he'll know there's something up

Yes, and it will smell of chocolate and fear.

It won't SMELL like The Fear, it'll just taste like it.

Nonsense.  I can smell the fear and the horror and the death of worlds when we make that shit.

I can smell the future when we make that. It smells like me vibrating at 1000 hertz.

[Hanni]

I'll just tell him I forgot to put the milk in first, that'll cover any sort of suspicions he has

Tell him it's mocha.

He doesn't have any heart problems or high blood pressure, does he?

Not that I know of at the minute...

No epilepsy, right?

Don't think so- Will we find out for sure after I've tried out the new coffee on him?

[Doktor Howl]

I'll just tell him I forgot to put the milk in first, that'll cover any sort of suspicions he has

Tell him it's mocha.

He doesn't have any heart problems or high blood pressure, does he?

Not that I know of at the minute...

No epilepsy, right?

Don't think so- Will we find out for sure after I've tried out the new coffee on him?

Yes.  It's not only delicious and filthy and horrible, it's also a useful diagnostics tool.  Why the AMA hasn't snapped it up is completely beyond me.

[Freeky]

Right... I'll attempt to convert the units sometime before Christmas

Will it look like mud? If it doesn't he'll know there's something up

Yes, and it will smell of chocolate and fear.

It won't SMELL like The Fear, it'll just taste like it.

Nonsense.  I can smell the fear and the horror and the death of worlds when we make that shit.

I can smell the future when we make that. It smells like me vibrating at 1000 hertz.

"D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d..."

" "

" Sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-..."

[Nephew Twiddleton]

That is not the recipe you gave me, but my assertion of not trying stands.

We've been developing it.

SCIENCE is not static.  It grows.

No drugs in this newer recipe? 

Of course not.  We are men of SCIENCE, not drug-addled Scotsmen.

True enough. A Scotsman would never venture out into Arizona.

Fact.  Scotsmen burst into flame when exposed to direct sunlight, much like flash paper.

I thought it was just us Irish...