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SCIENCE OF ATTRACTING BEAUTIFUL LADIES

Started by PANGO!, November 02, 2010, 04:44:35 AM

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PANGO!

LOOK, FAILURE. YOU TRY TO GET WOMEN, BUT ALL YOU GET IS CALLOUSED FIST. YOU DO NOT NO SECRET OF CATCHING LADIES! YOU ARE LIKE SUPERHERO BUT ONLY MAGIC POWER IS INCREDIBLE WANK STAMINA. YOU WANT HELP? DR. PANGO WILL HELP.

NOW, IS TIME FOR REMOVE SHEEPSKIN CONDOM AND FUCK LIKE REAL MAN. BE LIKE DR. PANGO. HE IS REAL MAN. PANGO SHIT THE GOLDEN TURDS WITH DIAMOND CORN. PANGO PISS AXE BODY SPRAY. THE WOMEN SWOON AND FAINT LIKE NARCOLEPTICS ON ROOFIES. DR. PANGO IS INCREDIBLE CHICK MAGNET.

I SPEND MANY YEARS IN NATIVE COUNTRY AS GYNAECOLOGIST. HERE IS BENEFIT OF THESE EXPERIENCE FOR YOUR USE IN WORLD OF DATING WOMEN.

1. WOMAN IS ANIMAL LIKE BANSHEE. VERY CRAFTY. VERY QUICK. BEST WAY TO WOMAN'S AFFECTION IS THROUGH USE OF DEADLY TRAP. WHEN SETTING TRAP, USE BAIT THAT SMELLS LIKE WEAKNESS (WOMEN LOVE TO PREYING ON WEAKNESS). DR. PANGO SUGGEST HEART OF PIMPLY FRY COOK. IF LOCAL LAW DISALLOW THIS, THEN USE PERSONAL INJURY LAWYER. DR. PANGO DO NOT KNOW OF ANY JURISDICTION WHERE SACRIFICE OF SUCH SWINE IS ILLEGAL. PLACE HEART IN CENTER OF TRAP AND COVER WITH ROSE PETALS. WOMEN WILL SMELL AND COME RUNNING. FIRST WENCH INTO TRAP IS YOURS! TAKE CARE NOT TO SLICE VALUABLE PARTS.

2. MANY WOMEN WILL BE ATTRACT TO MAN WHO SMELL LIKE THE FISH. IS TRUE. IS WHY YOU HEAR OF SHORTAGE IN PROFESSIONS LIKE DOCTOR, LAWYER, TEACHER, BUT NEVER HEAR "NOT ENOUGH FISHERMEN FOR MAKING THE FISHING." FISHERMEN UP TO ELBOWS IN TUNA. SO, BUY DOKTOR PANGO #44 FISH OIL BODY WAX. WILL MAKE THE WOMEN CRAZY FOR YOUR NARWHAL TUSK.

3. DR. PANGO FIND ONE OF THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAYS TO MAKE THE WOMAN LOVE YOU IS TO BE REJECTED BY HER, THEN SEND HER AN ASSHOLE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH AND GROW TO HATE OVER TIME, THEN REAPPEAR IN HER LIFE SUDDENLY AND TALK ABOUT YOUR PENIS. IS EFFECTIVE 100% OF THE TIME WITH UP TO 90% OF WOMEN.

4. AT CLUBS, BEST METHOD OF CATCHING FEMALE HUMAN IS BY PATENTED DR. PANGO "SLIDE TECHNIQUE." IN THIS TECHNIQUE, YOU TELL WOMAN FLATTERING THING ABOUT SHOES OR PURSE, THEN QUIETLY SLIDE 4 TO 6 ROOFIES TABLETS INTO HER DRINK. SHE WILL EVENTUALLY LOVE YOU SO MUCH SHE WILL BE UNABLE TO BEAR IT, AND FAINT. AT THIS POINT, PUT WOMAN IN SACK AND REMOVE FROM CLUB.

5. MANY MEN ASK DR. PANGO, 'WHY AM I TERRIBLE WITH THE LADIES?' WELL, TERRIBLENESS WITH LADIES IS CAUSED BY BELIEVING YOU ARE TERRIBLE. WOMEN RESPOND TO THE CONFIDENCE AND THE CHARISMA OF A MAN WHO DO NOT CARE WHETHER SHE RESPOND OR NOT. IF YOU REALLY WANT SOMETHING, BEST WAY TO GET IT IS STOP WANTING IT. IN THIS WAY YOU TRICK MURPHY'S LAW INTO WORKING IN YOUR FAVOR.

6. WOMEN ARE INCREDIBLY BORED BY NUMBERED LISTS. JUST POINTING THIS OUT.

7. EXCEPT WHEN NUMBERED LIST INVOLVE SHOES. FOR THIS REASON,

8. ????

9. YOU KNOW WHAT GOES HERE, DOG.

Lies

I thoroughly approve and endorse everything in this thread.
- So the New World Order does not actually exist?
- Oh it exists, and how!
Ask the slaves whose labour built the White House;
Ask the slaves of today tied down to sweatshops and brothels to escape hunger;
Ask most women, second class citizens, in a pervasive rape culture;
Ask the non-human creatures who inhabit the planet:
whales, bears, frogs, tuna, bees, slaughtered farm animals;
Ask the natives of the Americas and Australia on whose land
you live today, on whose graves your factories, farms and neighbourhoods stand;
ask any of them this, ask them if the New World Order is true;
they'll tell you plainly: the New World Order... is you!

slothrop23

Wind turbines.

I'm a big fan

P3nT4gR4m

QuoteIF YOU REALLY WANT SOMETHING, BEST WAY TO GET IT IS STOP WANTING IT. IN THIS WAY YOU TRICK MURPHY'S LAW INTO WORKING IN YOUR FAVOR.

Genius!  :lulz:

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

East Coast Hustle

He's like the bastard love child of Enrico Salazar and GIGGLES. :lulz:
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

Telarus

Quote from: Doktor Vitriol on November 02, 2010, 09:27:16 AM
QuoteIF YOU REALLY WANT SOMETHING, BEST WAY TO GET IT IS STOP WANTING IT. IN THIS WAY YOU TRICK MURPHY'S LAW INTO WORKING IN YOUR FAVOR.

Genius!  :lulz:

This is the trick behind 90% of 'popular' modern occult techniques.

No, really.

See also: Buddhism, Jainism,  Sufism (any path that teaches how to qwell 'attachment'/obsession-cravings).



"You want to stop Wanting?" says the Guru..

"Well...

IF YOU REALLY WANT SOMETHING, BEST WAY TO GET IT IS STOP WANTING IT."

He then hits you in the face with a fish or something, and the session is over.



Oh. Freudians also get one random couch.
Telarus, KSC,
.__.  Keeper of the Contradictory Cephalopod, Zenarchist Swordsman,
(0o)  Tender to the Edible Zen Garden, Ratcheting Metallic Sex Doll of The End Times,
/||\   Episkopos of the Amorphous Dreams Cabal

Join the Doll Underground! Experience the Phantasmagorical Safari!

ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞

THANK YOU FOR THE PINEAL GLAND HERNIA, BUT I ALREADY HAVE SCIENTIFICALLY ATTRACTED A LADY OF THE BEAUTIFUL VARIETY.
P E R   A S P E R A   A D   A S T R A

-Kel-

Thank you, now I can divorce my husband and get that little lady i've been wanting all these years.

Doktor Howl

Molon Lube