ITT: Original Sex Toys

[Cramulus]

microwavable ice


you want to tease your lover with an ice cube, but it's just too cold, right? Just throw it in the microwave. BAM.

[Cramulus]

"sex goggles"



they double as a blindfold -- because you can't actually see out of them. Due to dildos coming out the eyes

[Cramulus]

Bicycle built for two where the riders are facing each other

[Cramulus]

strap on dildo that doubles as a lathe

[Cramulus]

fuckable golf cart

[Salty]

Anal beads that, when pulled on hard and fast (think starting a lawnmower) traps the energy created from the friction to charge your phone.

I actually think I saw that in Sky Mall magazine.

[Salty]

You can't already fuck a golf cart?

[Cramulus]

that's the trick, we just sell regular golf carts

[Cramulus]

a blow-up doll that isn't so fucking judgmental

[Cramulus]

suction cup dildos that allow you to get Eiffel-towered by the washing machine and dryer at the same time

[Cramulus]

suction cup dildoes and fleshlights that you attach to your basement furniture.


This could facilitate 
     (a) getting ganbganged by multiple pieces of furniture at once,
     (b) arranging chairs, televisions, couches into a hardcore furniture orgy.

[LMNO]

I just read the entire thread from the beginning, and now I can't stand up without my erection knocking over the monitor.

[Cramulus]

The Fuck-Bible


this is sort of like the family bible that has a bottle of liquor hidden in it

but sloppier

[Cramulus]

strap on dildo that doubles as an AM Radio / belt sander

[Sir Squid Diddimus]