Perfectly reasonable trains of thought.

[Jenne]

If someone compliments you on the way you look, it's because you're fat and they're trying to make you feel better.

THIS x a million.  I have gotten so bad about thinking people are handing me genuine compliments, ugh. 

Rog, this makes me feel bad you've called me so often and I've missed it due to asstardery of a busy life where I can't even pee I'm so out of free time anymore.  I can't fuck around on the internet on my job hardly at all, either. 

I need a vacation from my life.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Your SO thinks you're high-maintenance and ordinary.

High-maintenance, probably.  Ordinary?  PFFFFT.  Either you're totally off base, or he's got his head jammed in his 4th point of contact.

You're one of the least ordinary people I know.

Thanks.

But, you know, I'm being perfectly reasonable. Thinking that.

[Jenne]

You're a drama queen who seeks more drama.  OR, so self-important that you think you're above everyone's problems.

You have a perfect life because you married a doctor.

You're pushy, bossy and a know-it-all.  You drink too much and are entirely too fat. 

You're lazy and don't do anything right or good enough for you.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Your SO thinks you're high-maintenance and ordinary.

High-maintenance, probably.  Ordinary?  PFFFFT.  Either you're totally off base, or he's got his head jammed in his 4th point of contact.

You're one of the least ordinary people I know.

Thanks.

But, you know, I'm being perfectly reasonable. Thinking that.

Oh, yeah, I was just saying.

[LMNO]

Wanting to do something on your own means you're being a selfish prick.

[Cramulus]

also, your haircut makes you look like an asshole. What are you going for, exactly?

[Eater of Clowns]

They keep you around because you make them laugh.  The moment you stop, the second you can't fake a chuckle, you're on your fucking own.

[Richter]

also, your haircut makes you look like an asshole. What are you going for, exactly?

Aha!  (FWIW - you are one of those rare people with the hair  and the bearing that works for the length you usually keep. 

Also:

"The beard makes you look like a neurotic Sir Francis Drake.  Jsut shave already, you're fooling no one."

[LMNO]

You're just pretending to be weird so people will think you're "different"-- really, you're just like the rest of us.  Stop it.

[Gray Jester]

"The beard makes you look like a neurotic Sir Francis Drake.  Jsut shave already, you're fooling no one."

Neurotic Sir Francis Drake = sexyawesome.  Just FYI.

---

You get up to shenanigans because you can't behave normally.  In reality, you just don't know how to play the social game.

[East Coast Hustle]

Jesus, you guys are depressing.

Am I the ONLY motherfucker here who has utterly unshakable self-confidence?

Srsly, it pains me to read this thread and think that sometimes you guys actually think this stuff.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

They chose that particular word to let you know that they know what you did.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

Jesus, you guys are depressing.

Am I the ONLY motherfucker here who has utterly unshakable self-confidence?

Srsly, it pains me to read this thread and think that sometimes you guys actually think this stuff.

I think these things occasionally, but I almost always laugh afterwards and think, "that's patently ridiculous."

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Jesus, you guys are depressing.

Am I the ONLY motherfucker here who has utterly unshakable self-confidence?

Srsly, it pains me to read this thread and think that sometimes you guys actually think this stuff.

We can't all be Buckaroo Banzai.

And it helps to drag this sort of thing out into the daylight and drive a stake through it's heart.

[Gray Jester]

Am I the ONLY motherfucker here who has utterly unshakable self-confidence?

Srsly, it pains me to read this thread and think that sometimes you guys actually think this stuff.

We all have our good days and our bad days.  I only have unshakeable self confidence when I slept for at least 6.735 hours the previous two nights.  It's hard to be positive when you look and feel like a zombie!