Perfectly reasonable trains of thought.

[hooplala]

You are a rather dull person who is very good at pretending to be smart and interesting.

I get this one, except for me its more:

You are a rather dull person who thinks he is very good at pretending to be smart and interesting.


And now that I'm tying it in here I am getting that smack of paranoia: "They're all reading that and thinking, well, he's right."

Fuck.

[Cramulus]

I THINK I HAVE MEMORY PROBLEMS
            \










EITHER THAT OR SOMEBODY'S SHITTING IN MY PANTS
            \










FUCK-- THESE ARE YOUR  PANTS?
            \

[Jenne]

  Love that schtick, Cram.  Gets me every time!

ECH, it's more like:  if you gave in to the stupid voices in your head (and yeah, sometimes I hear stuff I INTERPRET like what I wrote, rather than what people actually SAID), this is what you MIGHT believe about yourself if you were having a particularly shitty day.

And sorry, EVERYONE has shitty days.  I do have to say, when attacked outright, I'm more apt to think I'm AWESOMESAUCE SUPREMO than any of the above...but when kicked and kicked by Life In General^TM, yeah, I can sometimes succumb to the dumb.

[Bella]

When people don't respond to your posts or PMs within 30 seconds, it's because they hate you.  When the board is dead, it's because nobody wants to talk to you.  When someone cuts you off in traffic, they did it on purpose, just to piss you off.  People call your cellphone just to eke out that little bit of extra annoyance you get from being startled by the ringtone.  When people don't answer YOUR calls, it's because they're tired of you.

The mailman is in on it, too.  But you knew that.

When someone ahead of you doesn't accelerate fast enough for you when the light turns green, it's because they're trying to make sure you get stuck at the intersection for another red light.  If your SO is being quiet, it's because he/she is mad at you.  Don't get him/her talking though, because the next thing he/she says will be "Let's just be friends".

And whether you can hear it or not, the universe is laughing behind your back. 

You disguised your voice and called my work number for tarot readings at least three times today, didn't you?   

If not, the universe is not only laughing behind our backs, it's fucking with us big time because all my clients are saying pretty much what you just said.

[Freeky]

Accepting help means you're a freeloader. You should be shot to death in the face.

You lost your shit a long time ago, and as soon as everyone figures that out, they'll all leave you. Forever.

You shouldn't bother tying to add to the conversation. You're only adding noise, not content.

[Kurt Christ]

You're friends find you interesting, sure, but it's in the same way they find Batman or Godzilla interesting- a fun novelty, but they don't actually think you're REAL.

[Reginald Ret]

None of your friends can be trusted, the moment you show any kind of weakness they will attack and tear you apart.

There are only two reasons for people to be nice to you: 1 they feel sorry for you. 2 they have absolutely no selfesteem and think your worthless ass is at their level when you know that they are way too awesome to feel that way.

The only women who will think you make a good boyfriend are those that already are in a relationship.  AKA no one you are in love with will ever love you back.
(shit, this one made me cry)

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Your novelty will wear off. Always. With everyone, no matter how shiny and new and wonderful they seem to think you are.

[Remington]

All of your anti-authoritarian freedom stuff is so cute. Eventually you'll realize that you were really just rebelling against your quiet, orderly upbringing (hell, against your quiet, orderly nature). After all, if it was so smart and logical, wouldn't more people be doing it?

Your Christian girlfriend won't stay moderate, you know. As soon as you walk down the aisle and seal the deal, get ready for the Bible thumping. After all, her dad's like that, so why not her? Besides, she's far too normal for you. You could do better. She could do better.

You aren't learning nearly enough things in College, despite your straight As. The reson why it seems so easy is because it's a farce: when you walk into the manager's office and hand them your resume you'll be laughed out of the building because you didn't go to a real school.

When you weighed all the religious faiths and doctrines and decided the idea of God was improbable, you guessed wrong. The Christian God exists, the Old Testament was a documentary, and your little thoughtcrime just set you up for a very very long time being tortured. After all, could 2 billion people be wrong?

Why do you insist on making things so difficult for yourself? Why do you always have to take the hard way? Nothing you ever do in this life will matter, and ignorance most certainly is bliss. Why did you take that away from yourself? The Horror's going to be there whether you like or not, so why the fuck did you have to open your eyes and see it? It's not going to make a difference! Are you trying to make yourself suicidally depressed? WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST BE NORMAL?

[Remington]

Fuck, this is depressing.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

Fuck, this is depressing.

Try rereading these as though Winston Churchill is singing them through an auto-tuner.

[Cainad (dec.)]

You really have been nothing but a string of disappointments for several years now. You never were as good as people thought your were, and it's finally starting to show.

You aren't actually smart enough to do what you want to do with your life. Settle for something more within your intellectual capacity. Even though doing that will make you yet more of a disappointment. Sucker.

Your friendships are held together with nothing more than desperation and scotch tape. The good times are just lulls in between the arguments and drama; they only put up with you anymore because they feel bad for you. Soon, their patience will wear thin.

The only friends you'll keep are the ones you hold at a distance. The ones you allow to get too close will see the hollow fake you've always been, and they'll slowly back away and try to make their escape.

You have only ever been a source of frustration and hurt for the ones who've loved you.

[Juana]

^ This.

You have nothing worthwhile to say and you're not funny, so you shouldn't talk anymore.

You've set yourself up with a facade and you can't live up to it. You should accept the mass disappointment that will inevitably come with you drop the facade, drop out of school, and become a retail zombie.

You'll never get another job because you're worthless. Alternately, a retail zombie is all you'll ever be.

[Juana]

Jesus, you guys are depressing.

Am I the ONLY motherfucker here who has utterly unshakable self-confidence?

Srsly, it pains me to read this thread and think that sometimes you guys actually think this stuff.

I'm usually pretty confident, but the bottom of the well is a pretty shitty place.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

You're not as smart as you think you are; people just humor you.