WHEN THEY TELL YOU ABOUT INDIANS AND PILGRIMS

[PANGO!]

LET THEM KNOW YOU NOT CARE ABOUT STINKING HISTORY. IS FOR STOOGEBRAINED SHITWITS. PILGRIMS LOVE INDIANS. THEN, PILGRIMS INFECTED INDIAN WITH SMALLPOX AND GREAT MASSACRES ENSUED.

PANGO SO SAD FOR LOSS OF NATIVE NATIONS.

HOWEVER, SAD STORY IS ONLY ONE PART OF THANKSGIVING. WHAT YOU ARE THANKFUL FOR? MAYBE YOU ARE THANKFUL FOR FAT WIFE AND SEVENTEEN SNOT-NOSED WALLET-SUCKING SPAWN. MAYBE YOU ARE HAPPY FOR BOTTLE OF JACK DANIELS. MAYBE YOU ARE HAPPY FOR WARM GUN ON COLD NIGHT. PANGO DO NOT CARE. IS NOT "WHAT MAKE YOU HAPPY DOG" THREAD. ONLY POINT OF THIS RAMBLE IS FOR BESTOWING UPON YOU, BENEFIT OF PANGO'S IMMENSE KNOWLEDGE AND EXPERTISE IN WHAT EXACTLY THANKSGIVING IS REALLY REALLY ABOUT.

IS NOT TURKEYS, OR PILGRIMS, OR PEACE AND LOVE, OR SOME BORING SHIT THAT HAPPENED IN MASSACHUSETTS 400 YEARS AGO.

THANKSGIVING IS
ABOUT
THIS:



THAT IS CORRECT, CULTURE-LACKING DOG-SPOONING SOCCER MOMS. PUMPKIN MOTHERFUCKING PIE. IS LIKE HEAVEN ON PANGO'S TONGUE. ONLY REASON FOR ABSTAINING FROM MURDER ON WRETCHED HOLIDAYS IS JAILS MAKE SHITTY PUMPKIN PIE. IS INSULT, SHARING TINY SLICE OF BLAND PIE WITH ROOM FULL OF GREAT BIG STINKING CONVICTS.

DO NOT BRING ME YOUR SHITTY CRANBERRY SAUCE.
OR CORN ON THE COB.
OR HAM, OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE LEAVE THAT SHIT IN THE FREEZER AT WALMART, PIG.

PUMPKIN PIE IS ONLY REASON FOR THIS HOLIDAY. MORE THAN ENOUGH REASON TO MAKE THREADPOST AT PD.

PANGO CHALLENGE ANY AMONG YOU LOUSE-BITTEN WEASELS WHO DISAGREE WITH SUPREME AUTHORITY OF PUMPKIN PIE TO FOLLOWING:

1. TAKE MASSIVE SHIT
2. SPREAD GENEROUSLY ON FACE
3. PERFORM EPIC FIVE-HOUR CUNNILINGUS ON YOUR MOTHER.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

 

I'm making pumpkin pie.

[Eater of Clowns]

I am thankful for Dr. Pango Gillespi.

[East Coast Hustle]

IAWTGF.