Lies I told at my class reunion.

[Cramulus]

Just got back from my 10 year high school reunion. Here are some of the ridiculous things I told people, with a straight face.


#1: I teach game design classes for homeless people.



A few people asked what kinds of games homeless people design. I told them that this is a really exciting year for homeless people games. They've got this thing that they do right now when they're standing in a circle with an empty can of beans and a campfire. Oh god. You don't even want to know. It's awesome.

#2: I run a dating website for dogs.

#3: I'm involved in unregulated cat shows.

The problem with regular cat shows is that (a) they're rigged and (b) they're regulated. I made 15K last week betting on this beautiful Persian named Princess. They dress her up in a frog outfit and she melts your heart. I could never win that big in a normal cat show. It's not even my cat!


#4: I perform psychiatric evaluations on animals.

No, not for a zoo or vet or anything. Just a hobby. You know, just like in the park or whatever. Sometimes I see a squirrel or a pigeon and within minutes I know it's retarded.


#5: I'm a lobbyist for robot rights.

We're not actually robot funded. No, we're primarily funded by perverts.

#6: I'm a customer service rep at a sea monkey farm.

Actually it's really sad. I deal with crying kids pretty much all day.

#7: I teach business classes at the pottery barn.

#8: I teach pre-law classes at Pier 1.

No not officially or anything. Just to anyone who will listen.

#9: I'm a sex therapist for pre-teens.

#10: I started four cults this month.*




^{*not actually a lie}

[Jasper]

This inspires me to lie about my job at every opportunity. 

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

 

I need to do this shit more often.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Hahahaha

ITT Cramulus identifies the only good reason to go to any reunion, ever.

[Eater of Clowns]

Fucking hysterical, Cram.   

[geekdad]

#3: I'm involved in unregulated cat shows.

The problem with regular cat shows is that (a) they're rigged and (b) they're regulated. I made 15K last week betting on this beautiful Persian named Princess. They dress her up in a frog outfit and she melts your heart. I could never win that big in a normal cat show. It's not even my cat!

still laughing

[Eve Hill]

 

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

What kind of responses did you get, Cramulus?

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

What kind of responses did you get, Cramulus?

[Triple Zero]

Ok, that is amazing and brilliant!

[Cramulus]

What kind of responses did you get, Cramulus?

most people laughed

a few people asked if I was serious. After I elaborated a bit, it became apparent that I was not.

a few people were just making conversation and didn't have much to say about it other than, "that's cool!" - In those cases I didn't go out of my way to fill them in.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Sounds like a blast.

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

#3: I'm involved in unregulated cat shows.

The problem with regular cat shows is that (a) they're rigged and (b) they're regulated. I made 15K last week betting on this beautiful Persian named Princess. They dress her up in a frog outfit and she melts your heart. I could never win that big in a normal cat show. It's not even my cat!

still laughing

Laugh now, but I'm going to do this for real and I'm going to be filthy fucking rich.

[Rizzo]

I once said that I was in the traveling circus now


      

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

I once said that I was in the traveling circus now


      

this post makes no sense.