I want to make sweet sweet love to this atrocity

[Remington]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xc5wIpUenQ

TurBacon Epic:

1 Quail
1 Cornish game hen
1 Chicken
1 Duck
1 Turkey
1 Pig

1. Place each of these animals inside each other, like a carnivorous Russian nesting doll (top to bottom). Use copious amounts of meat glue, butter, and bacon (if you don't use more than 10 packs, you're doing it wrong).

2. Roast.

3. Eat

4. Die

[President Television]

"Just because we're fucked up, we garnished it with Baconators." 

[Faust]

I assume this summons Tslanese if done correctly?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

As I once explained to my friend Z, some food experiments are exercises in gluttony, rather than actual food appreciation. Roasting all those animals inside each other only ensures that none of them are prepared optimally, and is essentially an expensive waste of deliciousness. Why not just fill a trough with white rice and butter? It's the same level of culinary sophistication.

[Jasper]

Hell, why not?  If we're going to be the richest, fattest, craziest motherfuckers on Earth, we might as well take it to the wall.  We're in decline now, so all the more reason.  Glut while you can.  Nothing succeeds like excess.

[Suu]

That sounds very medieval. Don't forget to serve it on trenchers, and then when you're done eating, throw the trenchers and entrails out to the poor.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Hell, why not?  If we're going to be the richest, fattest, craziest motherfuckers on Earth, we might as well take it to the wall.  We're in decline now, so all the more reason.  Glut while you can.  Nothing succeeds like excess.

Oh, if the point is to be gluttonous, that's fine. It's just that people seem to hail such culinary monstrosities as gastronomic delicacies and not what they actually are, which is a sad waste of quality ingredients. What they basically did there is make sausage, completely annihilating the delicate flavors of the individual meats which would have been far better roasted alone, without stuffing, and served together on the table for everyone to take their choice.

I've tried things like this; I was at the Porktopia party. I love pork, and I love meat, and sadly, the experience of actually eating one of these is pretty similar to eating a slightly overdone $300 bratwurst. I'd say it's more performance art than actual cooking.

[Jasper]

Delicacy?  Oh lol.  Yes, very refined, the oven chimera. 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

If you understand my world-renowned love of pork... it pains me to see it abused in such a way.

[Jasper]

No, I get that.  Still- I wouldn't mind trying it for myself sometime.  It just looks fun to do.

[Kai]

All of those ingredients are awesome, cooked separately.

Quail and Cornish hens slow cooked in sauces.

Duck, chicken and turkey braised and roasted.

side of pig barbecued over a grill all day long.


Together, they all get cooked wrong for their individual needs.

Come on people. We're COQUIVORES. There is no excuse for cooking food wrong. All this shit is just an excuse to create a mediocre food monstrosity.



Now, what NIGEL said, about cooking these all individually, and creating a spread where you can pick and choose pieces of each to eat.....

OFUCK, I think I'm going to cry of awesome.

[Jasper]

Sort of how a toccata's purpose is to show off the skill of the performer, there should be a similar kind of meal that stresses a prolific quantity and quality that demonstrates a chef's skill.

Power Dinner.

[Kai]

Sort of how a toccata's purpose is to show off the skill of the performer, there should be a similar kind of meal that stresses a prolific quantity and quality that demonstrates a chef's skill.

Power Dinner.

Or simply, Culinary Toccata.

[Jasper]

This idea needs development.  I've done dinners like this before, mainly as part of celebrations, but I've never made a thing of it.

The idea would be that the chef challenges themselves to do several favorite dishes as perfectly as possible.  Would that be awesome?

[Kai]

This idea needs development.  I've done dinners like this before, mainly as part of celebrations, but I've never made a thing of it.

The idea would be that the chef challenges themselves to do several favorite dishes as perfectly as possible.  Would that be awesome?

Except I think thats what chefs do all the time.