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SPIDER IV - A NEW HOPE.

Started by LMNO, December 01, 2010, 07:13:49 PM

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Nephew Twiddleton

#225
March 31, 2011, 01:19:06 PM
 :lulz:
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Luna

#226
March 31, 2011, 01:31:26 PM
Quote from: Unqualified on March 31, 2011, 01:18:00 PM
HELLO PD-CHAN! ^.^
I LOVE WATCHING MY ANIMES ON HI-DEF TV! OH! YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I LOVE? SPIDERS!

OMG THEY'RE SO KAWAII UGUU~

Erg.  Squishit.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

President Television

#227
March 31, 2011, 01:34:10 PM
Quote from: Luna on March 31, 2011, 01:31:26 PM
Quote from: Unqualified on March 31, 2011, 01:18:00 PM
HELLO PD-CHAN! ^.^
I LOVE WATCHING MY ANIMES ON HI-DEF TV! OH! YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I LOVE? SPIDERS!

OMG THEY'RE SO KAWAII UGUU~

Erg.  Squishit.
NOES! >n<
I WUV SPIDER. ;_;
HERE, WATCH SOME MOE ANIMES INSTEAD: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_RPZcSZWJo
My shit list: Stephen Harper, anarchists that complain about taxes instead of institutionalized torture, those people walking, anyone who lets a single aspect of themselves define their entire personality, salesmen that don't smoke pipes, Fredericton New Brunswick, bigots, philosophy majors, my nemesis, pirates that don't do anything, criminals without class, sociopaths, narcissists, furries, juggalos, foes.

bds

#228
March 31, 2011, 01:45:00 PM
I'll vote for Phox.

Nephew Twiddleton

#229
March 31, 2011, 01:48:48 PM

EoC      Phox
Freeky  posted
Jenne    Phox
Khara    Phox
Luna     Phox
Phox     Phox
Requia   BDS
Roger    Phox
Semaj    Phox
Villager  Abstain
Blight    Phox
BDS      Phox
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

LMNO

#230
March 31, 2011, 02:30:03 PM
VOTING IS CLOSED.

Round 3 is over.



Now I gotta find time to write this up.  BRB.

Dysfunctional Cunt

#231
March 31, 2011, 02:34:00 PM
Posting!!

LMNO

#232
March 31, 2011, 07:00:06 PM
Phox heard them before she had even turned the corner in front of her apartment. Big engines, commotion, the incessant beep-beep-beep of something backing up.  What she saw after taking the left on Martin St was a mess of flashing lights, flatbed trucks, moving vans, and police.  She slowed down a bit, then approached one of the police officers.  "What's going on?"

"I'm sorry miss, you're going to have to keep moving.  City business."

"Wait, I live here."

"Oh?  Ah.  I thought we got everyone."  He handed her a yellow piece of paper.  "You're being evicted.  Eminent domain."

"What?"

"Yeah, the City Council voted that it would be in the public interest to build a WalMart here.  So everyone has to move."

"How is this legal?" 

The officer eyed her suspiciously.  "Because it's the government.  They make the laws.  You sound like you don't believe in democracy."

"I—that is to say, um... Of course not.  But why is this the first we've heard about it?"

"Lady, you ask a lot of questions.  Here, where are you from?"

"From? I live—used to live here."

"No, what country were you born?  Can I see some identification?"

"My driver's license is in my apartment..."

"No ID, hmm?  Ma'am, you'll have to come with me." The officer grabbed her by the elbow, and firmly led her over to a paddy wagon.  "Hey, George!  Looks like we got a Suspicious Activity here," he called out.  "How much room in the truck?"

PHOX IS OUT OF THE GAME.  SHE WAS NOT A SPIDER, NOR A DISCORDIAN.


Ned decided to take a day off of work, and found himself in the City park.  The weather gods had finally smiled on the City, evidenced by the rays of sunshine that would occasionally break through the cloud cover and offer patches of warmth and comfort to those lucky enough to be standing in the right place.

One of those beams of light caught a reflection, took a sharp left, and bounced off of Ned's retina.  Looking for the source, he saw a man kneeling at the base of a lightpost, desperately working at the base of it with a screwdriver, glancing around furtively.  Curious, Ned sauntered over casually, and asked, in a completely causal tone of voice, "What'cha doin', pal?"

The man leapt back, looked around frantically, and started spluttering, "Uh!  Ah!  Um.  Yeah.  I.  Uh.  HeygottagosomethingIneedtobedoing—"

Ned raised one hand reassuringly.  "Not a cop.  Just curious.  What you got there?"  He pointed to a shopping bag resting next to the lightpost.

"It's, um..." The man looked at Ned closely.  "Can I trust you?"

"As much as you can trust anyone, these days.  That's to say, probably, but not as much as you used to."

"Right... Huh.  Well, here goes.  It's a cell jammer."

"And what sort of thing is that?"

"It jams cell phones.  Most short wavelength devices, actually."

"No shit."

"Yeah.  And I was going to hide it in the park so people wouldn't be on their damn cellphones when they're here."

"Short range, then?"

"Moderate.  Enough to silence most of the park."

"Interesting.  So, why the lightpost?"

"It needs a good amount of power to run the thing.  I figured..."

"Why not use the City's own power source... Pretty clever.  By the way, I'm Ned."

"Chuck.  So you don't think I'm crazy?"

"Didn't say that, but..." Ned reached out and gently plucked the screwdriver from Chuck's hand.  He knelt by the base of the lightpost, and in fifteen seconds had removed the electrics panel.  "You know what to do from here with these wires?"

Chuck's paused, startled, and then quickly reached into the bag and pulled out the device, kneeling next to Ned.  "Yeah, I got this.  Shouldn't take too long, now."

"I'll keep watch."  Ned stood, folded his arms, and leaned against the post as Chuck worked.  "You know," he said, "that gizmo could very easily block the signals from any security cameras set up here.  You know that?"

Chuck stood, brushing off his hands.  "Yeah... I thought about that.  I figured it's kind of a bonus."

"Or the entire point.  Come on, let me buy you a drink.  I think we should talk about this some more."

DISCORDIAN CONVERSION: SUCCESSFUL.


Darrell sat at his kitchen table, reading the morning paper, mouth agape.  He couldn't believe all the things that were going wrong in the world, the country, his own City, even.  When were people going to take responsibility for anything? 

He threw the paper down with disgust, and turned on the radio. 

A dark flash of movement, behind the fridge.

"...has now replaced private irresponsibility with public irresponsibility. First, it was the banks, mortgage companies, financial institutions, then automakers. Soon, if they had their way, health care, student loans. It is becoming a slush fund for the Treasury Department's favorite big players, just as we had been warned...'

What's this?  Darryl leaned in closer, turned the volume up.

Something skittered up the wall.

"...it's easy to understand why Americans are shaking their heads when Washington has broken trust with the people that these politicians are to be serving. We're drowning and many of us have had enough. Now the foundational principles in all of this, it's easy to understand. It really is even I though I think D.C. would just love for us to believe that this is all way over our heads. No, this is all pretty simple stuff. When our families, when our small businesses, we start running our finances in to the red, what do we do? We tighten our belts and we cut back..."

This was making sense.  This sounds like a way out.

Overhead, a thread of silk dropped slowly down towards where Darryl was sitting.  The nape of his neck was exposed, like a target.

"...do all that they can to make sure that the game is fair without the undo corrupt influence. And then they need to get government out of the way. American scientific companies are cross-breeding humans and animals and coming up with mice with fully functioning human brains, so the first thing that has to be done is secure the border ... East Germany was very, very able to reduce the flow. Now, obviously, other things were involved. We have the capacity to, as a great nation, secure the border. If East Germany could, we could.  After all, our nation was founded on violence. The option is on the table. I don't think that we should ever remove anything from the table as it relates to our liberties and our freedoms. Instead of handing out the welfare checks, we'll teach people how to earn their check. We'll teach them personal hygiene ... the personal things they don't get when they come from dysfunctional homes. These (prisons) are beautiful properties with basketball courts, bathroom facilities, toilet facilities. Many young people would love to get the hell out of cities. You have to teach them basic things — taking care of themselves, physical fitness. In their dysfunctional environment, they never learned these things."

This was more like it.  Finally, a solution, a way out.  Darryl sat back in his chair, and idly scratched at an itchy bump on the back of his neck.

DR JAMES SEMAJ HAS BEEN SUBSUMED, AND HAS NOW JOINED THE TEA PARTY.  HE IS OUT OF THE GAME.  HE WAS NOT A DISCORDIAN.

ROUND FOUR HAS BEGUN.

Votes needed to put someone on a bus:

[(11/2)+1] = 6 votes.

Luna

#233
March 31, 2011, 07:02:48 PM
Tea Party?  Oh, Semaj...   :cry:
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Freeky

#234
March 31, 2011, 07:11:12 PM
:horrormirth: The TeaParty, Semaj? How could you?

The Good Reverend Roger

#235
March 31, 2011, 07:17:48 PM
Too bad about Phox, but she WAS egging us on.

Hmmm.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#236
March 31, 2011, 07:18:48 PM
Luna comes to mind.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Freeky

#237
March 31, 2011, 07:21:15 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 31, 2011, 07:18:48 PM
Luna comes to mind.

It's odd, but that's what I was thinking as well.

Eater of Clowns

#238
March 31, 2011, 07:21:41 PM
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

The Good Reverend Roger

#239
March 31, 2011, 07:22:55 PM
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.
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