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Testamonial:  And i have actually gone to a bar and had a bouncer try to start a fight with me on the way in. I broke his teeth out of his fucking mouth and put his face through a passenger side window of a car.

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SPIDER IV - A NEW HOPE.

Started by LMNO, December 01, 2010, 07:13:49 PM

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Jenne

#285
April 03, 2011, 06:56:42 AM
..."it's a dry heat"...?

Freeky

#286
April 03, 2011, 07:00:14 AM
Quote from: Jenne on April 03, 2011, 06:56:42 AM
..."it's a dry heat"...?

So's your oven.

Freeky

#287
April 03, 2011, 07:01:45 AM
Even so, more credit to you guys.  I guess.  I just know what Yuma is like, is all. :lulz:

bds

#288
April 03, 2011, 12:32:39 PM
Sorry! I'll abstain, seeing as everybody else is.

Triple Zero

#289
April 03, 2011, 01:17:45 PM
I vote for Iason.
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

The Good Reverend Roger

#290
April 03, 2011, 03:30:09 PM
Quote from: BDS on April 03, 2011, 12:32:39 PM
Sorry! I'll abstain, seeing as everybody else is.

:crankey:

No fucking game since Thursday because of you.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

#291
April 04, 2011, 02:03:07 PM Last Edit: April 04, 2011, 02:18:09 PM by LMNO, PhD
GOOD MORNING.  ROUND FOUR IS OVER.

___________________________________________________________________________

"NED!  GET YOUR ASS TO THE SUPE'S OFFICE!  HE WANTS TO SEE YA!"  

Gary's voice sounded tense and urgent, so Ned put down his tools and made his way over to the trailer that was set up on-site for management.  Walking through the door, he saw Mr. Green, the supervisor, sitting at his desk, and a man in a white coat standing behind him, to the left.

"You wanted to see me?"

"Ah, Ned.  Have a seat."  Ned sat.  "So, everything going well?  Feeling ok?"

"Sure, fine.  Never felt better.  What's this all about?"

"Well Ned, you see... We've been noticing you've been acting... strangely.  Erratic."

"Sir?"

"You've been nodding to yourself while you work, as if you were wearing headphones, which is prohibited.  We know," he held up his hand as Ned tried to interrupt, "that you're not wearing any, otherwise the cameras would have picked them up.  So we must consider the possibility it's a nervous spasm."

"I can assure you, I'm not feeling nervous."

"Let us determine that, yes?  An objective opinion would be much more accurate as I'm sure you'll agree, which is why we have Dr. Spindelwulf here.  We've also noticed the smile you've been wearing lately."

"...Smiling."

"Well, grinning would be more accurate, yes?  Not a friendly grin.  Shows a bit of mania, possibly.  But the main reason is the items you've been taking home with you."

Ned's face hardened.  How much did they know?  "You can't steal trash, sir."

"Well, that's just it, isn't it?  You're stuffing your pockets full of bits of wire, a gear here and there, even a collection of broken switches.  That's just not normal, Ned."

Dr. Spindelwulf leaned forward.  "We'd like to help you."  His voice was oily and sharp, like a newly cleaned knife.  In his right hand he held a small plastic pill bottle.  In his left were three small yellow pills.  "This will help."

"What the hell is that?"

Mr. Green shook his head.  "Now Ned, there's no use for that kind of language.  Your choices are simple.  You will not be let back onto the jobsite unless you take these pills."

"There's nothing physiologically wrong with you.  Your problems seem entirely stress related," said Dr. Spindelwulf as he placed the pills on the desk in front of Ned.  "You just take the pills, and everything will be all right."

"That's it?"

"Yes, Ned.  That's it."

He looked at the pills, and did a fast calculation.  He couldn't get the supplies to Chuck if he quit, and he certainly couldn't afford his rent if he wasn't working.  What the hell.  He reached out, grabbed the pills and jammed them in his mouth, swallowing them dry.  "You happy?"

"Yes, Ned," muttered Dr. Spindelwulf, whose teeth suddenly looked very, very sharp.  "Quite."  

THE PILLS GAVE ROGER A POUCH LIKE KANGAROOS HAVE, AND HE PUTS HIS SCREAMS IN IT.  HE HAS BEEN SUBSUMED BY THE SPIDER.  HE WAS A DISCORDIAN.


__________________________________________________________________________


That night at the Re-Bar, Larry was getting a pint when he noticed a familiar face at the other end of the room.  He walked over, and cocked his head.  "Hey, aren't you the kid who was talking to Ned?"

Paul looked up, startled.  "You mean that guy from a few nights ago?  I guess.  Didn't catch his name.  Uh, I wasn't hitting on him or anything."

"I know.  You taught him a new word.  You seen him around?  I've been looking for him."

"Never saw him again after that night.  Thought he wasn't interesting in what I was saying."

"Let me tell you, he certainly was.  He just couldn't figure out what you were talking about.  I'm Larry."

"Paul."

"Well let me tell ya, Paul, once Ned figured it out in his head, he wasn't letting it go."

"How'd he figure it out?"

"I gave him some hints.  I've got a sneaking suspicion you and I are on the same page, here.  Hey, grab that booth, I want to sketch something out for you."

The next thing Paul knew, it was last call, and both he and Larry had dozens of bar napkins covered in scrawled diagrams, notes, and bullet points.  It was just the beginning stages, but it was most certainly a plan.

TWO DISCORDIANS HAVE FOUND EACH OTHER, AND HAVE FORMED A CABAL.


__________________________________________________________________________

LOLRULESLOL
The CABAL has a 100% chance of converting a Citizen, who will then be part of that CABAL.  It will be up to the CABAL if they want to make it public. The CABAL will be broken if all but one of the members are subsumed or Put On A Bus.  The CABAL can name itself, which will be used in the narration.

If a Spider tries to subsume one of the other Spiders, they will begin to create The Machine™.  All three Spiders must be subsumed in order to create The Machine™.  Once created, The Machine™ has a 100% chance of crushing both Citizens and Discordians, but only a 50% chance if the Discordian is part of a CABAL.  If The Machine™ has not been created, the Spider still has a 50% chance of subsuming a Cabal member.

Currently, only the two Discordians "Larry" and "Paul" are in the CABAL.  If another Discordian wants to join them, they must choose one of them to convert.  The CABAL does not follow the string of conversions.

For example, we start with D1 and D2.

D1 -> D3 -> D4.  Then, D2 -> D4.  

D2 and D4 are in the CABAL, but D1 and D3 are not, even if they all know each other.  They can join if they spend a turn converting D2 or D4.

Round 5 has begun.

Votes needed:

[(9/2)+1] = 5 votes to put someone on a bus.

Dysfunctional Cunt

#292
April 04, 2011, 02:11:15 PM
 :eek:

Damn.

Mighty nice writing LMNO, but damn.

I'm posting!

Luna

#293
April 04, 2011, 02:20:36 PM
Well, heck.  Good on the cabal forming, bad on losing a Discordian.

Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Freeky

#294
April 04, 2011, 02:22:04 PM
Yay, cabal is formed! :D

The Good Reverend Roger

#295
April 04, 2011, 03:15:20 PM
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#296
April 04, 2011, 03:17:00 PM
Also, love the narration.

I tried to put a laughing emoticon on here, but all I did was yawn.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Dysfunctional Cunt

#297
April 04, 2011, 03:26:30 PM
Luna  - Posted
Freeky  - Posted
Jenne   - Wandering in the desert....
Blight   
Requia   
EoC   
Khara   Posted
BDS    - Going to feel my wrath is he screws up another weekend DUDE!!!  :argh!:
Villager   

This is so I can keep up because I was a bit lost.


Dysfunctional Cunt

#298
April 04, 2011, 03:27:00 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 04, 2011, 03:17:00 PM
Also, love the narration.

I tried to put a laughing emoticon on here, but all I did was yawn.

  :?

Freeky

#299
April 04, 2011, 03:27:45 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 04, 2011, 03:15:20 PM
Quote from: Jenkem and Bubble Baths on April 04, 2011, 02:22:04 PM
Yay, cabal is formed! :D

pillz here.
\
:|

Yeah. :(

I just hope the spiders will get caught soon.
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