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DM/Player Ownage

Started by Don Coyote, December 03, 2010, 09:28:06 PM

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Sister Fracture

:lulz: At least you're enjoying yourself up to that point
Roaring Berserkery Bunny of the North End™

A Tucsonite is like a Christian in several important ways.  For one thing, they believe what they say about their god in the most literal, straightfaced way possible.  For another, they both know their god can hear them.  The difference between the two, however, is quite vast in terms of their relationship with their god; Christians believe in His benevolence, but Tucsonites KNOW of The City's spite and hate.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Sister Fracture on January 25, 2011, 05:46:43 PM
:lulz: At least you're enjoying yourself up to that point

SHOW ME WHERE DA MIC IS AT!
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

Wait... what kind of mic are you using?



[/Shub]

The Good Reverend Roger

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

I blame Roger for making me a bad person.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: LMNO, PhD on January 25, 2011, 06:11:19 PM
I blame Roger for making me a bad person.

Balls.  I'm a Holy Man™ and a Doktor.  Any effects I have had would be purely beneficial.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Sister Fracture

Quote from: LMNO, PhD on January 25, 2011, 06:11:19 PM
I blame Roger for making me a bad person.

Don't be so modest. You know you've always been a bad person. :wink:
Roaring Berserkery Bunny of the North End™

A Tucsonite is like a Christian in several important ways.  For one thing, they believe what they say about their god in the most literal, straightfaced way possible.  For another, they both know their god can hear them.  The difference between the two, however, is quite vast in terms of their relationship with their god; Christians believe in His benevolence, but Tucsonites KNOW of The City's spite and hate.

Telarus

Telarus, KSC,
.__.  Keeper of the Contradictory Cephalopod, Zenarchist Swordsman,
(0o)  Tender to the Edible Zen Garden, Ratcheting Metallic Sex Doll of The End Times,
/||\   Episkopos of the Amorphous Dreams Cabal

Join the Doll Underground! Experience the Phantasmagorical Safari!

Doktor Howl

Freeky's paladin had a bad day.

:hammer:
Molon Lube

Freeky

Just some bad luck.  Next one will be better.

Doktor Howl

Molon Lube

Freeky


President Television

#87
One of my buddies runs Pathfinder for the first time. I build a Chaotic Good Half-Orc Alchemist.
This works out better than it sounds.

I rolled up some really good stats, put my highest into STR and put the +2 racial bonus into STR to get a total STR of 19.
Since it's a Half-Orc, I get proficiency with greataxes. I took one as my starting weapon. I also took the racial feat Razortusk, which grants me a bite attack. Since it's a natural weapon, this lets me hit an enemy with my greataxe and take a bite out of it as a full attack at level one.
STR bonus is +4. For the greataxe, this is increased to +6 for being a two-handed weapon. For the bite attack, it's halved for being a secondary attack.
Greataxe deals 1d12+6 damage, bite deals 1d4+2 damage. Assuming they both hit(and they usually did, despite the -1 attack roll penalty on the bite), I can deal an average of 16 damage per round. I'm a bit of a glass cannon due to my light choice of armor, but that's ok because I can brew up Cure Light Wounds as an extract and I have Ferocity as a racial trait. If I ever get brought down to negative HP, I can just cure myself and jump back into the fray.
This is a small game, so the only other party members are a poorly-built CE oracle and a GMPC wizard that I can only accurately describe as being anti-optimized.
We go into the sewers. GM throws a giant leech at us. I jump in and take about half my HP in damage, but I come out victorious and make everyone else look useless. This turns out to be a recurring theme for the night. GM throws a swarm of bats at us. I whip out my bombs and save the day. GM throws goblins at us. I get the drop on them and butcher the first of their number in the surprise round. With my teeth.
Next chamber, there's more goblins. They see us coming, and three of them bullrush me. This works, and I spend most of the fight prone. I keep missing with my greataxe and hitting with my bite, and it's still enough to take out the pitiful goblins. Presumably, I'm severing their femoral arteries. Then their leader charges up. A hobgoblin. I bite him and he takes me out. Oh noes!
Wait, I have Cure Light Wounds and Ferocity! I revive myself, stand up, and take him out in the round after that.
Then the GM throws a mummy at us. I look at him like he's insane, and he adjusts it on the spot. Halves its HP. We are level 1, after all.
I drink my mutagen. My STR goes up to 23, giving me a +2 natural armor bonus and a STR bonus of +6. +9 on the greataxe, +3 on the bite. Oracle buffs me, then circles around to flank the mummy. Four rounds later, the mummy drops. I pick bits of mummy out of my teeth and the session ends.

The GM still hasn't gotten around to session 2.
My shit list: Stephen Harper, anarchists that complain about taxes instead of institutionalized torture, those people walking, anyone who lets a single aspect of themselves define their entire personality, salesmen that don't smoke pipes, Fredericton New Brunswick, bigots, philosophy majors, my nemesis, pirates that don't do anything, criminals without class, sociopaths, narcissists, furries, juggalos, foes.

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Uncle Wallified on April 12, 2012, 03:44:47 PM
Then the GM throws a mummy at us. I look at him like he's insane, and he adjusts it on the spot. Halves its HP. We are level 1, after all.

:lulz:
Molon Lube

Freeky

Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 12, 2012, 06:28:33 PM
Quote from: Uncle Wallified on April 12, 2012, 03:44:47 PM
Then the GM throws a mummy at us. I look at him like he's insane, and he adjusts it on the spot. Halves its HP. We are level 1, after all.

:lulz:

Someone needs to learn balancing. :lulz: