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MSY36: After All These Years

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, April 24, 2014, 03:56:59 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

April 24, 2014, 03:56:59 PM
Bad Eddie came to visit.  I haven't seen the guy since the bad old days, and frankly, I didn't want to see him now.  But what could I do?  There he was, with something on his mind.  So I fixed us some coffee and decided to hear him out before I threw his psychotic ass out to the curb.

He looked at me.  "You're doing okay here, Roger.  Got this big house in Oro Valley.  Golf course right out back.  Nice."

"Your point, Eddie?"

"This ain't you.  You weren't supposed to be some kinda corporate douchebag."

"But I am.  I am in fact a gigantic corporate douchebag, and it brings me nice things without people shooting at me."

"It lost you that fine piece of ass you used to have."

"Maria wasn't going to work out anyway, Eddie.  Now, would you please get to the point?  I am very busy right now, and I am also very irritable."

"Yeah, yeah, keep your shorts on.  I'm here because I think we need to go back in business."

"Dream on.  You aren't smart enough to do that without going to jail, and neither am I.  Without the judge, we'd be in prison in a week."

"I never thought I'd see you lose your balls."  Eddie was getting a little agitated.  I just sipped on my coffee and stared at him.  He was damn near foaming at the mouth...But that's Bad Eddie.  From zero to mushroom cloud instantly.  He makes ME look well-adjusted.  "I have been waiting for SEVEN FUCKING YEARS to do something, and here YOU are, living fat and happy in fuckin' Pleasantville."

"Whatever you have planned, I'm not interested."  Another sip on the coffee cup, put it back down.  I kind of wanted both hands free.

"You cunt.  You cowardly fucking cunt.  There's a fat stack of cash out there with OUR names on it.  There's whores and fights and drugs and cars.  You're gonna just stand there and tell me that you want to sit in this house with this wife of yours and wait to die of boredom or old age?"  Actual froth was forming around his mouth.

"I'm okay with that.  I'm just fine with being 45 years old and not pretending I'm 22.  I'm just fine with a good woman and a quiet life.  I'm not the man I was when I was in my 30s.  So whatever it is that you want to do, you shouldn't have any problems doing it with some pals...But not with me.  I'm done.  I told you guys that when I left town, and I meant it.  Now you calm your fucking tits, or I'll bounce you off your fucking head.  For the last time, Those. Days. Are. Over."

He just stared at me, as we both picked up our coffee and took a sip.

From the bedroom down the hall, my wife asked, "Who are you talking to?"

I leaned out into the hall.  "Oh, nobody.  I'll be done here in a few minutes."

"Roger Edward, you are the strangest man", she replied, "That's why I love you."

I smiled, and put my coffee down.  Then I turned back to the mirror and finished shaving.

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

#1
April 24, 2014, 04:12:47 PM
Oh, damn.  Didn't see that coming.

The Good Reverend Roger

#2
April 24, 2014, 04:13:16 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 24, 2014, 04:12:47 PM
Oh, damn.  Didn't see that coming.

It occurred to me that I never actually ended that series.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#4
April 24, 2014, 05:01:40 PM
I like that.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#5
April 24, 2014, 05:05:27 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 24, 2014, 05:01:40 PM
I like that.

I have spent the last couple of years coming to terms with middle age.  It's not a particularly easy process, and I can see why some people blow a gasket and get a sports car and a ridiculously younger person to fuck.  I mean, it's easier than staring your own mortality in the eye.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Eater of Clowns

#6
April 24, 2014, 07:52:01 PM
Great!   :)
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Richter

#7
April 25, 2014, 12:15:50 AM
Wow.  You gave a black comedy a happy ending that WORKS. Willy S. Couldn't make that work like this does.
:mittens: 
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

East Coast Hustle

#8
April 25, 2014, 01:58:25 AM
Hell yeah.

That's a twist with some punch.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

The Good Reverend Roger

#9
April 25, 2014, 03:54:25 AM
Quote from: East Coast Hustle on April 25, 2014, 01:58:25 AM
Hell yeah.

That's a twist with some punch.

Getting old isn't for sissies.   :lulz:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

P3nT4gR4m

#10
April 25, 2014, 06:17:59 AM
 :eek: That was pure fucking genius! I'll guarantee you that if my 22 year old self to visit, there'd be violence. Not quite so sure which one would be alive at the end of it

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Luna

#11
April 25, 2014, 12:15:37 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on April 25, 2014, 06:17:59 AM
:eek: That was pure fucking genius! I'll guarantee you that if my 22 year old self to visit, there'd be violence. Not quite so sure which one would be alive at the end of it

Experience and treachery will stomp youth and enthusiasm dam near every time... as long as it WANTS to.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Suu

#12
April 25, 2014, 02:16:40 PM
THIS.

:mittens: Forever.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."
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