Brussels Sprouts Pizza

[Bruno]

I've been on kind of a nutmeg kick recently, and having bought some whole nutmegs and a nutmeg grater, I'm looking for excuses to use it.

For Thanksgiving I made Brussels sprouts with pecans and cranberries, and was pretty happy with the results. I started looking into other things that go well with nutmeg, and two things stood out in my mind; cheese and brassicas.

When I worked at a pizza place here in town many years ago, I would make a pizza for myself using the alfredo sauce, broccoli from the salad bar, and ham. This wasn't something we had on the menu, it was just something I cam up with on my own, I tried to convince the owners to put it on the menu, but being a franchise, they were limited as to what they were allowed to do.

Which brings us to my current experiment.

Ingredients:

One of those pizza-crusts-in-a-can from Pillsbury
A jar of Newman's Own Alfredo Sauce
Approximately an assload of fresh grated nutmeg
Fresh cracked black pepper
Canadian Bacon
Kraft Italian Five Cheese with Philidelphia Cream Cheese for Extra Creaminess
Some Brussels sprouts, sliced into roughly disk-like shapes

Instructions:

Take these ingredients and make a pizza out of them.



I'll have more details on how I did it after I do it.

Maybe some pictures if I can find my camera.

[Bruno]

Ok, here it is.

First, I sliced the Brussels sprouts into slices approximately 3/16" - 1/4" thick. Some were thicker than others.



I unrolled the crust, and forced the rectangular crust to fit the round pan.



I baked the crust in an oven pre-heated to 425°F for 5 minutes. Probably should have poked it with a fork a few times first.



Realized I should have poked it with a fork a few times, and that it was probably too late now. Did it anyway, and smeared a little extra virgin olive oil on it.



I put about about half of the jar of Alfredo sauce on it, and grated some nutmeg, about 1/4 of a nutmeg.



Added fresh ground pepper...



the Brussels sprouts...



and the Canadian bacon.



I topped it with the cheese, about 2/3 of the bag, and added some of the thicker slices of Brussels sprouts that i decided needed to cook a little more than the thinner ones,  sprinkled it with shakey cheese, and popped it back into the oven for about 15 minutes. Also, I smeared some Smart Balance onto the crust edge.



While I was waiting, I mixed up a batch of frozen strawberry drank concentrate, seltzer water, and some vodka that has had about 2 tablespoons of freshly cracked black pepper soaking in it for a couple of weeks



The final product. Browned to perfection, and then browned a little more.

And then a little more. The crust browned a lot faster than the cheese did. Also, I was worried that the Brussels sprouts wouldn't be cooked enough.



Final Verdict: This is some good-ass pizza. 15 minutes was the perfect time to get the Brussels sprouts done, but not cooked to the point that they start to get that poo smell.

I think next time I may just use some plain ol' Amurricin breakfast bacon.

[East Coast Hustle]

I heartily approve of this outlandish-seeming pizza recipe.

however, you made one terrible mistake, which is that you NEVER NEVER NEVER put the toppings UNDER the cheese.

[Cain]

This actually seems quite nice, and I'm rather picky about sprouts normally.

That Canadian Bacon looks suspicious as fuck, though.

[Bruno]

I heartily approve of this outlandish-seeming pizza recipe.

however, you made one terrible mistake, which is that you NEVER NEVER NEVER put the toppings UNDER the cheese.

Duly noted. I will be doing this again, and I will put the toppings on top next time.

But NEVER NEVER NEVER? As in not ever? Not even really delicate toppings like fresh mushrooms?

[Bruno]

This actually seems quite nice, and I'm rather picky about sprouts normally.

That Canadian Bacon looks suspicious as fuck, though.

Suspicious in what way? like... Not really from Canada? Likely to harbor intestinal parasites?

Or just the cheapest brand at the store, and not very high quality? Because it was, and wasn't, respectively. I didn't want to spend too much on an untested "Brussels sprouts will taste good on a pizza" theory, and got maybe a little too thrifty on the Canadian bacon. I've eaten this brand before. It was ok. Not gristly or anything, just a little short on flavor.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

You might try collard greens as well. I've used that a few times and it's come out nicely. Good work. *salutes* Also - you drink Faygo, I miss that stuff.

[Cain]

This actually seems quite nice, and I'm rather picky about sprouts normally.

That Canadian Bacon looks suspicious as fuck, though.

Suspicious in what way? like... Not really from Canada? Likely to harbor intestinal parasites?

Or just the cheapest brand at the store, and not very high quality? Because it was, and wasn't, respectively. I didn't want to spend too much on an untested "Brussels sprouts will taste good on a pizza" theory, and got maybe a little too thrifty on the Canadian bacon. I've eaten this brand before. It was ok. Not gristly or anything, just a little short on flavor.

They just dont look like anything I would call bacon.

I understand things are a little different in North America in this regard, though.

[Bruno]

This actually seems quite nice, and I'm rather picky about sprouts normally.

That Canadian Bacon looks suspicious as fuck, though.

Suspicious in what way? like... Not really from Canada? Likely to harbor intestinal parasites?

Or just the cheapest brand at the store, and not very high quality? Because it was, and wasn't, respectively. I didn't want to spend too much on an untested "Brussels sprouts will taste good on a pizza" theory, and got maybe a little too thrifty on the Canadian bacon. I've eaten this brand before. It was ok. Not gristly or anything, just a little short on flavor.

They just dont look like anything I would call bacon.

I understand things are a little different in North America in this regard, though.

Oh, yeah, that.

I'm not really sure what the difference is between "Canadian bacon" and "ham" other than the fact that it is round. I don't even know if all Canadian bacon is by definition round. I think maybe they just call "ham" "bacon" in Canadia.

In America, Canadian bacon is basically ham for putting on a pizza.

[Bruno]

You might try collard greens as well. I've used that a few times and it's come out nicely. Good work. *salutes* Also - you drink Faygo, I miss that stuff.

Thank you. I'll definitely give the collard greens a try.

Also, Faygo is good stuff. Doesn't make me want to listen to ICP, though.

That particular bottle is the case for my big ol' glass thermometer.

[Requia ☣]

I heartily approve of this outlandish-seeming pizza recipe.

however, you made one terrible mistake, which is that you NEVER NEVER NEVER put the toppings UNDER the cheese.

Why?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

"Canadian bacon" is back bacon. In the US "bacon" is made from pork belly, but I hear tell that in other parts of the world it's usually made from back or side meat. As far as I know, Canadians also eat belly bacon, but I haven't been further East than Vancouver so for all I know that's a West Coast thing.

I am going to stand right up and say that the American tradition of making bacon from belly meat is fucking fabulous.

[Rumckle]

In Toronto they eat belly bacon. In fact, I don't recall seeing Canadian bacon in Toronto

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

*salutes* Also - you drink Faygo, I miss that stuff.

Did you see that salute? Unmistakable.

I think we're being infiltrated by Juggalos.

[East Coast Hustle]

I heartily approve of this outlandish-seeming pizza recipe.

however, you made one terrible mistake, which is that you NEVER NEVER NEVER put the toppings UNDER the cheese.

Duly noted. I will be doing this again, and I will put the toppings on top next time.

But NEVER NEVER NEVER? As in not ever? Not even really delicate toppings like fresh mushrooms?

The only topping I ever put underneath the cheese when I owned a pizzeria was sun-dried tomatoes, because they tend to burn too quickly if put on top. The other exception is fresh basil, which should never be cooked at all but cut into a fine chiffonade and sprinkled on top of the pizza after it has come out of the oven. I would suggest soaking the brussels sprouts in water for several minutes before cooking the pizza to ensure that the outer edges don't blacken.