Merry Christmas this dammit.....

[Whatever]

Let me tell you what you can do with that fucking tree....

Yeah I'm talking to you.  You know who you are.  Every time I pass you on the street you tell me Merry Christmas.  Every time I see you in the mall you ask "if I'm finishing up my Christmas shopping?"  Every fucking time you are behind me in line at the grocery, you ask "if I've decided on what I'm cooking for Christmas dinner?"

What part of I do not know you have you missed?  Why is this season of "peace on earth and goodwill towards men" one which means I have to speak to complete strangers about things I'm already stressing over and be fucking nice too?  Do I look like a nice person to you?  I'm sorry when did you get your eyes checked last?

Have you been rude to someone during Christmas?  You would think I had just dropped a baby off a 20 story building.  I mean damn, it is not that serious.  I think if I do not initiate a conversation with you, then you should give me the same courtesy.  Don't talk to me and I won't make you cry.  How hard is that to understand?

I think I'm going to make me a Christmas season shopping t-shirt. 

If Jesus were real, he would have been born in March.  You are only celebrating this "birthday" in December because a bunch of old farts back in big beard and flip flop days thought they'd convert more heathens if they incorporated the local customs.  Hence December stopped being the Winter holiday and became Christmas.  Find me in March and tell me Merry Christmas then.  I may have calmed down enough to only slap you once!!

While I'm at it, Fuck New Years too!

[Adios]

and 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Easy fix; when strangers try to start a conversation with you about Christmas, smile sweetly and say "Oh, no; I'm Jewish". Then tell them you hope they have a great holiday. Better yet, ask them questions about it as if you have no idea what goes on Christmas day. "Is it true that you eat ham and lobster on Christmas morning?"

(If you do this, it's a good idea to have some idea of when Chanukkah was.)

[AFK]

Or just carry around a red bucket and a handbell.  When someone comes up to you and wants to talk about Christmas, ring your bell and ask for money.  They'll scatter like mice. 

[Jenne]

Or just carry around a red bucket and a handbell.  When someone comes up to you and wants to talk about Christmas, ring your bell and ask for money.  They'll scatter like mice. 

THIS.

Although, really, it's just people being nice/polite for the sake of it.  They'd fill the time with other inanities otherwise.  I don't necessarily see that as a bad thing, better than getting a "FUCK YOU!  WHERE'S YOUR MONEY, DIPSHIT?" at the cash register...but maybe that's just me.  My pet peeves are different.

[Whatever]

If they are being nice to just be nice, then they should do it in March.  March sucks.  There is nothing nice about March.  Be nice to strangers in March.

I just don't understand why they feel the need to speak to complete strangers.  How do they know I'm not just escaped from the psycho ward because I killed 20 bell ringing santas?

That was more my point.  

That plus I'm not done with my fucking shopping and I have no clue what I'm making for christmas dinner.  And when you actually tell these nosey assed strangers that, dear lord they act like you drop kicked baby jesus from the manger scene into the street.... 

[Jenne]

If they are being nice to just be nice, then they should do it in March.  March sucks.  There is nothing nice about March.  Be nice to strangers in March.

I just don't understand why they feel the need to speak to complete strangers.  How do they know I'm not just escaped from the psycho ward because I killed 20 bell ringing santas?

That was more my point. 

That plus I'm not done with my fucking shopping and I have no clue what I'm making for christmas dinner.  And when you actually tell these nosey assed strangers that, dear lord they act like you drop kicked baby jesus from the manger scene into the street.... 

  Ok.

I don't know where you live, but no one I know does anything but bitch about how they don't have time to go shopping/wrap shit up/send out cards.  Like I just did this morning in Open Bar.  No one's shocked at how little I've accomplished.  *shrug*  You must live in Mayberry or the equivalent of Stepford.

[Adios]

If they are being nice to just be nice, then they should do it in March.  March sucks.  There is nothing nice about March.  Be nice to strangers in March.

I just don't understand why they feel the need to speak to complete strangers.  How do they know I'm not just escaped from the psycho ward because I killed 20 bell ringing santas?

That was more my point. 

That plus I'm not done with my fucking shopping and I have no clue what I'm making for christmas dinner.  And when you actually tell these nosey assed strangers that, dear lord they act like you drop kicked baby jesus from the manger scene into the street.... 

  Ok.

I don't know where you live, but no one I know does anything but bitch about how they don't have time to go shopping/wrap shit up/send out cards.  Like I just did this morning in Open Bar.  No one's shocked at how little I've accomplished.  *shrug*  You must live in Mayberry or the equivalent of Stepford.

Sum total of gifts purchased; 0.
Sum total to be purchased; 0.

Fuck National Retailers Holidays.