Suck it hippies, you're now on the same page as Pat Robertson

[Jenne]

...unless the laws are the ones that prevent abortion, or allow prayer in schools.  And then they're doing "Gods Work."

[Adios]

Okay kiddies. We are back to reality, feel free to move about the cabin.


VIRGINIA BEACH (The Borowitz Report) - Rev. Pat Robertson sparked controversy in today's broadcast of his 700 Club program when he claimed that God created the blizzard currently battering the Northeast "to punish Americans who were planning to drive to do something gay."

Explaining his theory, Rev. Robertson said, "Because of the bad road conditions the Almighty has made, any gay activities that people were planning on doing will have to be postponed by a day or two."

Additionally, he argued, God shut down major airports in the New York area "so that people who were hoping to fly to do something of a gay nature would have to take a train or a bus, so it might be days before the gay thing they were going to do could occur."

As for the millions of straight people in New York City who were also grounded by the bad weather, the televangelist said, "I think God probably wonders, if these people are really straight, then what are they doing in New York?"
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-borowitz/pat-robertson-snow-is-god_b_801755.html

[LMNO]

Luckily for me, I had a BIG, GAY SNOWSHOVEL that allowed me access to the BIG, GAY SUBWAY that was running with no interruptions so I could get to my BIG, GAY DESTINATION without a hitch.

[Jenne]

Loves the Ganga, Hates the Gays.

Got it.

[Adios]

In other blizzard-related news, the National Weather Service offered this update: "It's as white as a Glenn Beck rally out there."

[Jenne]

...unless the laws are the ones that prevent abortion, or allow prayer in schools.  And then they're doing "Gods Work."

...or if they prohibit Gay Marriage.  Definitely God's Work^TM.

[Jenne]

In other blizzard-related news, the National Weather Service offered this update: "It's as white as a Glenn Beck rally out there."

[AFK]

Explaining his theory, Rev. Robertson said, "Because of the bad road conditions the Almighty has made, any gay activities that people were planning on doing will have to be postponed by a day or two."

What a dumbass.  A gay couple snowed in is going to do the same thing many straight couples will do when snowed in.  Fuck like rabbits. 

[Adios]

Luckily for me, I had a BIG, GAY SNOWSHOVEL that allowed me access to the BIG, GAY SUBWAY that was running with no interruptions so I could get to my BIG, GAY DESTINATION without a hitch.

He may have been stoned when he did the show.........

[Disco Pickle]

Okay kiddies. We are back to reality, feel free to move about the cabin.


VIRGINIA BEACH (The Borowitz Report) - Rev. Pat Robertson sparked controversy in today's broadcast of his 700 Club program when he claimed that God created the blizzard currently battering the Northeast "to punish Americans who were planning to drive to do something gay."

Explaining his theory, Rev. Robertson said, "Because of the bad road conditions the Almighty has made, any gay activities that people were planning on doing will have to be postponed by a day or two."

Additionally, he argued, God shut down major airports in the New York area "so that people who were hoping to fly to do something of a gay nature would have to take a train or a bus, so it might be days before the gay thing they were going to do could occur."

As for the millions of straight people in New York City who were also grounded by the bad weather, the televangelist said, "I think God probably wonders, if these people are really straight, then what are they doing in New York?"
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-borowitz/pat-robertson-snow-is-god_b_801755.html

so much.

in other news, The 700 Club says god told them that San Francisco is to be ground zero for the coming ice age.  Asked how god plans to keep the ice from melting in sunny California, they replied that he plans to use flame retardant snow.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

Luckily for me, I had a BIG, GAY SNOWSHOVEL that allowed me access to the BIG, GAY SUBWAY that was running with no interruptions so I could get to my BIG, GAY DESTINATION without a hitch.

He may have been stoned when he did the show.........