Author Topic: The Swearing Thread  (Read 7480 times)

AFK

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Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

Lies

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Re: The Swearing Thread
« Reply #16 on: January 19, 2011, 01:22:36 pm »
- So the New World Order does not actually exist?
- Oh it exists, and how!
Ask the slaves whose labour built the White House;
Ask the slaves of today tied down to sweatshops and brothels to escape hunger;
Ask most women, second class citizens, in a pervasive rape culture;
Ask the non-human creatures who inhabit the planet:
whales, bears, frogs, tuna, bees, slaughtered farm animals;
Ask the natives of the Americas and Australia on whose land
you live today, on whose graves your factories, farms and neighbourhoods stand;
ask any of them this, ask them if the New World Order is true;
they'll tell you plainly: the New World Order… is you!

LMNO

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Re: The Swearing Thread
« Reply #17 on: January 19, 2011, 01:24:47 pm »

Lies

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- So the New World Order does not actually exist?
- Oh it exists, and how!
Ask the slaves whose labour built the White House;
Ask the slaves of today tied down to sweatshops and brothels to escape hunger;
Ask most women, second class citizens, in a pervasive rape culture;
Ask the non-human creatures who inhabit the planet:
whales, bears, frogs, tuna, bees, slaughtered farm animals;
Ask the natives of the Americas and Australia on whose land
you live today, on whose graves your factories, farms and neighbourhoods stand;
ask any of them this, ask them if the New World Order is true;
they'll tell you plainly: the New World Order… is you!

Cramulus

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The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: The Swearing Thread
« Reply #20 on: January 19, 2011, 06:39:50 pm »
I will fuck you in your ear, you fucking coprophage.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

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- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: The Swearing Thread
« Reply #21 on: January 19, 2011, 06:39:51 pm »
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


NWC

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Re: The Swearing Thread
« Reply #22 on: January 20, 2011, 11:36:00 am »
My favorite swear comes from this Onion article, Smoking Now Permitted Only In Special Room In Iowa

Quote
Gnawing at the bruised, bloodied ball of his thumb, Freeburn added: "Fucking shit-ass Christ piss!"

I've been using it for years, but when I use it, I usually say 'Jesus fucking shit-assed Chris piss', I think it sounds just a little better.
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Iason Ouabache

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You cannot fathom the immensity of the fuck i do not give.
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LMNO

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Cramulus

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Re: The Swearing Thread
« Reply #25 on: January 20, 2011, 02:30:32 pm »
(08:24:43 PM) Cramulus: I'M GOING TO POUR AN ENTIRE GALLON OF CANOLA OIL INTO YOUR MOTHER'S BEDROOM AND TELL HER IT'S YOUR DAD'S GOLDEN WINE. SURE ENOUGH, SHE STARTS LICKING IT UP LIKE A CRACK PIPE ON PROM NIGHT
(08:25:33 PM) Cramulus: MY NEIGHBOR HASN'T SEEN SO MUCH DICK TAR SINCE THE SPERM FLOOD OF 89
(08:26:18 PM) Cramulus: HE SAID, WOAH NELLY, I'M GOING TO BLOW SHIT OUT OF MY MOUTH SO HARD IT'LL GIVE YOUR KIDS A CONCUSSION
(08:26:37 PM) Cramulus: WHERE IN FACT, IT'LL GIVE YOUR WHOLE FUCKING LIFE A CONCUSSION. DO NOT FUCK WITH ME.
(08:27:22 PM) [000]: DICK TAR ANT HONEY FIRE BURNING STINGING ITCH LICE PENIS
(08:27:40 PM) Cramulus: LISTEN YOU INSIPID JIZZ PANDA I'VE HAD ENOUGH PISS TALK FROM YOUR RECTAL COLLEGE AND SIMPERING TURD BAGEL FRIENDS. SO INSTEAD OF PISSING OFF, WHY DON'T YOU FUCKING SIT IN IT AND COPULATE?
(08:28:30 PM) Cramulus: I'M TEN TIMES THE PISS PIRATE YOU COULD EVER BE, AND THREE TIMES THE DICKS. I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT THIS SHIT ANYMORE, THE STINK WAVES ARE GETTING IN THE WAY OF ME SHITTING LIQUID SCABS ALL OVER YOUR FUCKING MIDDLE SCHOOL REPORT CARD
(08:28:33 PM) Cramulus: WHAT
(08:28:50 PM) Cramulus: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING ON ABOUT YOU PECKISH ANAL LEPRECHAUN?
(08:28:59 PM) Cramulus: LISTEN I'VE SEEN WILLOW AND YOU SUCKED ASS IN IT
(08:29:34 PM) Cramulus: I'LL CALL YOU - A THROAT GOBBLER. TO YOUR FACE!
(08:29:38 PM) Cramulus: SIT ON IT
(08:29:40 PM) Cramulus: IN FACT
(08:29:44 PM) Cramulus: SHIT ON IT
(08:29:50 PM) Payne: CRAM
(08:30:05 PM) Payne: WHEN I MEET YOU, EXPECT A BOTTLE OF VODKA IN THE FACE
(08:30:06 PM) Cramulus: SHIT FUCK DAMN
(08:30:17 PM) Payne: ARSE RAIDING MUNCHEN
(08:30:43 PM) Cramulus: WHEN I VODKA YOU, EXPECT TO CHOKE ON YOUR OWN SHIT LIKE AN ANAL TODDLER WITH NO FUCKING CLUE HOW HE GOT BOTH HIS FISTS LODGED IN YOUR PUSTULOUS ASS
(08:30:43 PM) Payne: I HATE YOU SO HARD, THE WHITES OF MY EYES ARE PINK FROM BURST BLOOD VESSELS
(08:31:03 PM) Payne: CRAM, I'LL ASS FUCK YOU, WITH MY WHOLE LEG
(08:31:15 PM) Payne: WITHOUT LUBE
(08:31:16 PM) Idem: GUYS THIS IS A BUSINESS MEETING
(08:31:23 PM) Idem: KEEP IT DOWN
(08:31:24 PM) Cramulus: I HATE YOU LIKE A CHILD HATES GETTING PISTOL WHIPPED IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE CHURCH BUT THAT'LL TEACH HIM A LESSON FOR TALKING SHIT IN THE HOUSE OF THE LOUUURRRDE
(08:31:29 PM) Payne: CAUSE THATS HOW I ENJOY MY ASS FUCKIN
(08:31:54 PM) Cramulus: IF YOU'LL QUIT GARGLING JIZZ FOR JUST A FUCKING SECOND YOU'LL SEE THAT YOU ARE DAMAGING MY SELF ESTEEM
(08:32:00 PM) Payne: FUCK YOUR LORD CRAM, HE CRIED WHEN I INSERTED MY GREAT WHITE PALADIN INTO HIS ANUS
(08:32:31 PM) Payne: HE SHOUTED THIS IS MY BODY THIS IS MY BLOOD, BUT I JUST LAUGHED
(08:32:36 PM) Cramulus: THERE AREN'T FONT TAGS BIG ENOUGH TO CONTAIN YOUR PREGNANT ASS
(08:32:51 PM) Idem: FUCK YOU BOTH
(08:32:58 PM) Cramulus: I CAN'T TELL IF YOU'RE ACTUALLY THAT ROTUND OR YOUR LEGS ARE PREGNANT

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Re: The Swearing Thread
« Reply #26 on: January 20, 2011, 02:33:49 pm »
(08:35:52 PM) Cramulus: IN FACT, I'M GONNA GET A PET TAPE WORM AND NAME IT STUPID PIECE OF CUM-SHIT BECAUSE THEY REMIND ME OF YOU
(08:36:49 PM) Cramulus: YOU THINK I'M NOT SERIOUS? I WILL PERSONALLY CLIMB DOWN OFF THIS BUILDING AND STRETCH YOUR JAWS AROUND YOUR OWN ASS AND MAKE YOU TAKE A DUMP RIGHT INTO YOUR EYE SOCKETS
(08:36:50 PM) Payne: CRAM, I MEASURED THE DISTANCE TO THE PUB IN CRAMS, EXCEPT IN THE VERNACULAR I CALLED THEM DISTANCES BETWEEN TIGHTLY COILED PILES OF COG SHIT
(08:37:51 PM) Cramulus: THE OTHER DAY I OPENED MY FRONT DOOR AND I WAS LIKE "OH HEY DUDE" BUT IT WAS ACTUALLY A QUIVERING BOWL OF DOG SNOT THAT SOMEBODY HAD HEATED UP IN A MICROWAVE UNTIL IT STARTED TO SING SHOWTUNES AND CRAP PISS ALL OVER YOUR GODDAMN LAWN
(08:37:59 PM) Cramulus: IT WAS AN HONEST MISTAKE
(08:38:14 PM) Cramulus: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH I'VE DONE NOTHING BUT SWEAR FOR ELEVEN MINUTES NOWWWWWWW
(08:39:43 PM) Cramulus: SHUT THE FUCK UP I WILL POUR RAZORS INTO YOUR SHIT AND TELL CHILDREN THAT IT IS A DELICIOUS SURPRISE, THEN SUE YOU
(08:40:46 PM) Harlequin: DON'T MAKE ME FUCKING COME DOWN AND SHOVE COAXIAL SOUND CABLES INTO YOUR ASS AND THEN PLAY AC/DC SO FUCKING LOUD YOUR FUCKING ANUS WILL STAR DANCING AND EJECT ALL THE FUCKING SHIT THAT YOU'VE BEEN HOARDING FOR FIFTEEN FUCKING YEARS AND NINE MONTHS AND THREE DAYS AND FORTY-FIVE SECONDS
(08:41:56 PM) Cramulus: JESUS CHRIST I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR SIMPERING SHITTALK PISSBALLS
(08:42:19 PM) Cramulus: I'M RELOADING RIGHT NOW SO YOU BETTER FUCKING PUT ON A HELMET AND TAKE A SHIT
(08:42:26 PM) Cainad: FOUL LANGUAGE

(08:43:05 PM) Harlequin: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND BACK DOWN MOTHER FUCKER OR I'LL ROLL UP NEW SCIENTIST AND BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH SCIENCE EXCEPT IT WILL BE SCIENCE COVERED IN YOUR OWN BLOOD AND VOMIT AND SHIT
(08:43:13 PM) Cramulus: WHAT
(08:43:41 PM) Cramulus: I WILL WRAP YOU HEAD TO TOE IN DUCT TAPE AND PUT SNAKES IN YOUR INTESTINES THAT EAT YOUR SHIT SO WHEN YOU SHIT YOU SHIT SNAKES FULL OF SHIT
(08:44:09 PM) Harlequin: Well I find that just in bad taste
(08:44:20 PM) Cramulus: I DON'T GIVE A FUCK
(08:44:30 PM) Cainad: ALL OF YOU NEED TO SHUT THE SLIMY DOLPHIN BALLS UP BEFORE I FORCE CANDIRU FISH INTO EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR ORIFICES AND LIGHT YOUR FACE ON FIRE
(08:45:08 PM) Cramulus: YOU'RE A SODA DRINKING DANDRUFF SORTER WITH A BLACKLIGHT SENSITIVE ANAL BRAIN WITH ASS CHEEKS FOR LOBES
(08:46:01 PM) Cramulus: I WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY MORE OF YOUR INTRACTABLE MENTAL JIZZ OLYMPICS
(08:46:47 PM) Cramulus: BUT IN THE MEANTIME I AWARD YOU THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE FOR BEING A SPECIAL-ED PISS POLYP

(08:52:51 PM) P3nT4gR4m: what I really wanted from this place was crystal meth and a blowjob but I'll settle for tourettes
(08:52:59 PM) Cramulus: JESUS IT'S FUCKING P3NT
(08:53:33 PM) Cramulus: THAT IS TO SAY - JESUS SOME TOTAL MORON HAS JACKED PENT'S ACCOUNT AND NOW HE'S SAYING THE DUMBEST SHIT AN IDIOT COULD IMAGINE
(08:55:48 PM) Cramulus: I'LL GIVE YOU WOOD. I'LL RAM MY COCKKNOB RIGHT IN YOUR EYE UNTIL YOU BURST INTO TEARS BUT INSTEAD OF TEARS ITS HIGHLY ACIDIC URINE THAT EATS YOUR FACE UNTIL YOU LOOK LIKE THE GUY FROM RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK AND SOME CUNT IS LIKE MOMMY MOMMY, DOES THAT MAN HAVE SOME SORT OF RENAL DEFECT? AND HER MOM WILL SAY NO SWEETHEART, HE'S JUST A FAT, JITTERY, LOATHSOME PIECE OF SHIT THAT CAN'T TELL HIS OWN FACE FROM A MOUNTAIN OF TODDLER TURDS THAT PEDOS
(08:57:33 PM) P3nT4gR4m: CRAM I RAMMED BOTH MY FISTS AND HALF MY FOOT IN YOUR MOMS ASSHOLE LAST NIGHT AND THEN SPENT SO LONG TRYING TO WORK OUT WHICH HOLE WAS WHICH SHE UNLOADED THE MOTHER OF ALL FOLLOW THROUGHS RIGHT IN MY FACE.
(08:57:41 PM) P3nT4gR4m: i GOT CHARGED EXTRA FOR THAT
(08:57:41 PM) Cramulus: ANAL SWEAT SHIT DICKS FUCK SHIT URINE PISS FUCK DRIPPINGS RUNNING DOWN YOUR FACE SMELLS LIKE SOME KIND OF ANAL RACE
(08:59:16 PM) P3nT4gR4m: BABY ASS RAPE
(08:59:25 PM) Cramulus: IT TOOK ME 18 MONTHS TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO PUT UP WITH YOUR VERBAL AIDS YOU DICK TURBAN
(08:59:28 PM) ***Cramulus breathing heavily
(08:59:37 PM) Cramulus: can't.... stop... fuck....
(09:00:17 PM) P3nT4gR4m: WHY NOT TRY FUCKING YOURSELF IN THE WINDPIPE WITH A LENGTH OF ROTTING HORSE COCK
(09:01:00 PM) Cramulus: HOW ABOUT YOU EAT A WHOLE CANOE FULL OF MORMON MEN ALL JACKING EACH OTHER OFF
(09:01:15 PM) P3nT4gR4m: POUR SOME BLEACH DOWN IT TO SIMULATE SPOOGE
(09:01:43 PM) Cramulus: HOW ABOUT YOU DIE TEN TIMES IN A ROW AND THEN I'LL FIST YOUR WIFE ON YOUR GRAVE
(09:01:46 PM) Cramulus: AND SHE'LL SHIT
(09:02:11 PM) P3nT4gR4m: SUPERGLUE YOUR EYES TO A BABIES NIPPLES THEN JERK YOUR HEAD BACK AND SEE WHICH COMES OFF FIRST

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Re: The Swearing Thread
« Reply #27 on: January 20, 2011, 02:50:51 pm »
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
P E R   A S P E R A   A D   A S T R A

Scytale Anasûrimbor

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Re: The Swearing Thread
« Reply #28 on: January 20, 2011, 05:52:55 pm »
cramulus is officialy my favourite among the forum members. but only when howl isn't around.

now this isn't a good example of creative swearing, but the intro to this song always made me laugh (around 0:31 or so):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jalIarlN8E

just ignore the cybergoth outfits, mexicans don't look good in them :p

uninspired sig is uninspired

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: The Swearing Thread
« Reply #29 on: January 20, 2011, 06:03:00 pm »
cramulus is officialy my favourite among the forum members. but only when howl isn't around.

Fuck Howl.  He's a rotten, useless bastard who spreads woe as fast as he spreads his terrible strain of herpes.  And he owes me $30.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.