News:

"Those who seek should not stop seeking until they find. When they find, they will be disturbed." - Jesus

Main Menu

How to become a senior intelligence officer in New Zealand

Started by Pæs, January 29, 2011, 11:17:02 AM

Previous topic - Next topic
Print
Go Down Pages1
User actions

Pæs

January 29, 2011, 11:17:02 AM
Step 1: Lie to the government about having previously worked in intelligence overseas.
Step 2: Lie to the government about having designed the Polaris missile guidance system.
Step 3: Lie to the government about having competed in the Winter Olympics.
Step 4: ???
Step 5: PROFIT.

So you're saying that before we employ spies we should check their backgrounds? Sorry, we're not very good at this.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1351473/New-Zealand-government-embarrassed-employing-British-born-fantasist-senior-intelligence-officer.html?ito=feeds-newsxml
QuoteStephen Wilce's action-packed career appeared to rival the great heroes of thriller stories.

The British-born military scientist had worked as a spy, served with the Duke of York as a helicopter pilot, competed in the Winter Olympics, captained a Royal Navy swimming team and was a special forces soldier who ended up on an IRA death list.

He also boasted that he had designed the Polaris missile guidance system, that he was a member of the Welsh national rugby union team and, last but not least, that he was a guitarist on the British folk music circuit.

The only trouble was that Wilce's yarns were just that – total fiction

...

It has all proved very embarrassing for the New Zealand government, who employed the British expat as a senior intelligence officer.
...

The CV he tendered impressed a defence panel so much that he was given top level security clearance.
He oversaw 80 staff and had access to highly classified intelligence.

Cain

#1
January 29, 2011, 03:13:53 PM
On the other hand, being able to make a story like that seem convincing would be a necessary prerequisite for intelligence work.

Juana

#2
January 29, 2011, 08:16:10 PM
:lulz: That's pretty ballsy.
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

Lies

#3
January 31, 2011, 05:33:17 PM
This man should be given a medal.
- So the New World Order does not actually exist?
- Oh it exists, and how!
Ask the slaves whose labour built the White House;
Ask the slaves of today tied down to sweatshops and brothels to escape hunger;
Ask most women, second class citizens, in a pervasive rape culture;
Ask the non-human creatures who inhabit the planet:
whales, bears, frogs, tuna, bees, slaughtered farm animals;
Ask the natives of the Americas and Australia on whose land
you live today, on whose graves your factories, farms and neighbourhoods stand;
ask any of them this, ask them if the New World Order is true;
they'll tell you plainly: the New World Order... is you!

The Good Reverend Roger

#4
January 31, 2011, 05:50:35 PM
Promote him.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Jasper

#5
February 01, 2011, 12:48:36 AM
Unfortunately, he has to be let go. 




Overqualified.
Print
Go Up Pages1
User actions