So, when your boss says....

[Adios]

"Charley, do you know what your job is?"

"Yeah, and as soon as you leave me alone I will get to it."

"No, you don't understand. Your job is to make me look good."

"Shit. I need more headcount."

"ASSHOLE."

He walked away.

[Adios]

Craig was my boss. Vince was Craigs boss. Dale was Vinces boss.

I was a department head at Martin Marietta. They were all telling me to do things and I was getting pissed. I found Craig and told him Dale wanted to see him, then did the same thing to Vince.

Then I walked into Dales office and thanked them for coming.

"I have limited resources and you three are wearing me out. My crew is already stretched pretty thin. So, what I need is for ONE of you to tell me what to do. I don't care which one it is."

Then I walked out and went back to work.

About 30 minutes later Craig came down and found me.

"Charley, we agree you nee just one contact point, it's me."

"Thanks."

"Welcome. Do you have time to.."

"No. I have to get 200 people moved from one end of the building to the other by the end of the day."

"But it's important."

"Fine Craig, but the last people I will move will be the 4 VP's. I'll have them call you if they get pissed."

"Never mind."

"Okay."

[Adios]

One day Vince took me to the main plant (the rocket ranch) for a meeting. This made me question his sanity as I wasn't exactly....tactful. As Dept Head I was the lowest one there. The room was full of 6 and 7 figure rocket scientists and managers.

The meeting lasted 45 minutes and at the end they decided to have another meeting to figure out what to do. I looked at Vince and he seemed to shrink a little.

"Vince, did we just have a 45 minute meeting to decide to have another meeting?"

Vince visibly shrank.

The meeting leader looked at me and suggested that if I had an idea they would be willing to listen. His sarcasm was plain to hear.

I outlined a plan that would resolve the (boring details of mundane issue) problem in 20 minutes or so. The room got very quiet and Vince sat a little straighter.

They decided that my plan would work and that they would meet again to make sure.

I wasn't invited back to the next meeting. Or any other meeting for that matter.

[Adios]

One day Vince found me on the loading dock. He walked up to me and pointed at (un-named possibly hazardous material) and said it needed to go away.

"Okay, want me to call and get it shipped to Moscow, Idaho?"

"No, I just want it to go away."

"Hey, how the craft show go?"

"Real well, so, can you handle that for me?"

"Those toy tops you make sure are cool, my grandkids love them."

Fast forward to a few days later.

"Charley, I don't see XXXXX. Did you get that taken care of?"

"Did you see my new truck?"

....."Are you going to answer me?"

"It's a Dodge 1 ton dually!"

"CHARLEY!"

"Vince, right now you may or may not be implicated in any wrong doing that may or may not have been done. Are you okay with that?"

"Is your new truck here?"

[Adios]

I showed you mine, now you show me yours.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

 

[Adios]

25 years on that job. I loved it.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

[navkat]

I showed you mine, now you show me yours.

Once ran into Boss at a well-known (read: "notorious") bar early into my COMNAVGL exp...

BOSS: "Seaman C****, aren't you supposed to be on duty?"

ME: No, Chief. You put me on Liberty status because I took care of that "thing" for you, remember?

BOSS: Very well. Carry on.

[Bruno]

This one time, I worked for a place that turned whole vegetables into bags of chopped vegetables. My job was to wash all the little bits of chopped vegetables out of the machinery every night.

They told me not to get water in the motors.

I got water in the motors.

[Salty]

I had at a recent meeting told the owner* of a "health" spa I worked at that it might not be so classy to have prepackaged cookies from costco waiting on little trays for people who had just had some seaweed/mud/salt/detox/wtfever treatment.

Two weeks later I got a bad flu bug. My nose was running like niagra, nasty cough, you know. Not really the sort of condition where I ought to put my hands on nearly all of a naked persons body. I was out three days.

When I came back into work I wasn't on any of the books. I didn't just not have any appointments, I was erased from the system completely. So....I call the owner's lackey.

Me: "Uh, hey, so I'm not on the books."
Lackey: "Yeah, you were out sick for three days. You'll need a doctors note before you can come back to work."
Me: "You don't give me benefits and don't pay me enough to go to a doctor."
Lackey: "Well, we're going to need that note."

I hang up. She calls back.

Lackey: "All right, so you can stay, but only on a 90-day probationary period. If you're late or have any unexcuse-"
Me: Ah, yeah. *Thanks* and everything but I've only *been* here for three months and it's been pretty shitty that whole time. So, thanks but no thanks."
Lackey: *something shrill about me leaving the premesis.*


*Who took every scrap of revenue she leeched off the customers on ah, well let's say skiing trips for her nose.

[Adios]

One of the guys I worked with was Gene. He was a pretty laid back guy with some great stories.

One day he was outside talking to a girl he really liked. Now somebodys pet monkey grabbed a cat and started fucking it. The cat was screaming like a cat can. The monkey was making all kinds of racket. Gene and the girl were ignoring the show as best as they could, but Gene's friend was pulling on Gene's shirt. Gene kept pulling away and finally his friend yelled, "GENE, LOOK AT THAT MONKEY FUCKING THAT CAT!!!"

That was the last time they ever talked.

[Adios]

Before Gene came to J-M he managed a shoe store in Texas. He had one employee and Gene said he was the dumbest guy in the world. There was one thing the guy never got right in three years and Gene finally went off on him. For 30 minutes Gene said he yelled at the guy, he said he was sweating and his veins were all standing out on his head. When Gene finally got done he was standing there panting from the effort.

The guy looked at him and started giggling and said; "Do it again Gene!"

[Suu]

Charley, did you always work in Kansas? Or were you ever at another Martin Marietta plant? Say, the one in Oldsmar, FL?

[Adios]

Charley, did you always work in Kansas? Or were you ever at another Martin Marietta plant? Say, the one in Oldsmar, FL?

All in Littleton, Colorado. When I started there it was Johns - Manville and when they sold the building to Martin they sold all of us with it.