Magic: The Gathering

[The Good Reverend Roger]

D&D (yes, that's a Goddamn competitive game). 

Ever played Paranoia?

PERMISSION TO REPAIR FLYBOT DENIED.

PLEASE REPORT LOCATION UPON IMPACT.

[The Wizard]

PERMISSION TO REPAIR FLYBOT DENIED.

PLEASE REPORT LOCATION UPON IMPACT.

So, that's a yes then.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

D&D (yes, that's a Goddamn competitive game). 

Munchkin much?

There is no other way to play.  The DM is your enemy.  He is there to be beaten about the head and neck with his own encounters.

When you're the DM, your job is to build a balanced encounter, and then flog the players with it to the last hit point.

Also, NPCs can measure their lifespan in fractions of a gold piece.

"I nudge the torch-bearer forward with my sword.  At 3SP/day, he's definitely going to earn that money."

[The Good Reverend Roger]

PERMISSION TO REPAIR FLYBOT DENIED.

PLEASE REPORT LOCATION UPON IMPACT.

So, that's a yes then.

IF YOU ARE NOT HAPPY, YOU MAY BE USED AS REACTOR SHIELDING.

[The Wizard]

IF YOU ARE NOT HAPPY, YOU MAY BE USED AS REACTOR SHIELDING.

Might find this story interesting...

     

A clone gets trapped in a large crate in the RAD Shipping area, when he finally escapes he finds himself in a strangely colored room filled with bald men in white robes.

      Clone:
      Greetings citizen, Where can I get one of those nifty robes?
      Hey, what color is that anyway?

      Ultra:
      CITIZEN, you are in a restricted Area! This zone is class Ultraviolet!
      Your presence in this area constitutes Treason. Report to GOO sector for protein reprocessing!

      Clone: (begins to sweat profusely)
      Uhhh, NO.

      Ultra:
      Citizen, Disobeying a high programmer is Treason!
      Treason is punished by death!

      Computer:
      Warbots are being deployed! Remain calm, the computer is your Friend.

      Clone:
      Computer, I cannot have possibly committed treason.
      FACT I am security clearance red.

      Computer:
      That is correct citizen.

      Clone:
      FACT, you just told me that this was an ultraviolet clearance zone.

      Computer:
      That is also correct citizen.

      Clone:  (Speaking quickly)
      FACT, allowing a person of red security clearance into a ultraviolet clearance zone is treasonous. FACT, the computer is the supreme director of Alpha complex and the beloved protector of all citizens THEREFORE responsible for keeping me from entering area's outside my security clearance as well as protecting the security, nay the very existence of Alpha Complex by protection the High programmers by keeping intruders out of ultraviolet areas. the clone takes a huge breath and continues.

      THEREFORE wouldn't YOU guilty of treason?

      Computer:
      The computer cannot commit treason.
      To doubt the computer is treason.

      Clone:
      I agree, the computer is the beloved defender of Alpha complex. The computer is my friend and would never do anything that would cause me to commit treason, THEREFORE I am not in an Ultraviolet zone.

      Computer:
      Primary logic core failure 1:209:144-4

      Clone:
      At my security clearance am I allowed in this location?

      Computer:
      That information is not available at your security clearance citizen.

      Clone:
      Is dispensing information about ultraviolet level security to a red clearance citizen treason?

      Computer:  (a trace of ozone flows from the terminal)
      Secdary lgic cre errr: n data fa:
      Answer=true

      Clone:
      So if the Computer cannot commit treason and dispensing information about ultraviolet level security to a red clearance citizen is treason as well as being in an ultraviolet area is treason and this is an ultraviolet area then where am I and how did I get here?

      Computer:
      Secondary Logic Failure!
      A General protection fault has occurred in the module KERNEL.EXE
      A blue screen appears and the whole sector goes black.

      Clone:
      Computer, What is the security clearence of this area?
      Computer?

      Well, this didn't really happen like that in one game.  I usually wind up the one running the game and only rarely do I recieve the joy of a player that devious.  The general idea was kind of reconstructed from various incidents in games I have run/played in.  I actually only pulled this as a player once, I managed to corral the computer into trying to resolve a logical paradox.  The GM ruled that it crashed the local node of the computer logic core and the whole sector crashed.  Including the primary power grid...  and the pumps to the reactor core two levels below the building was in...  and the transport tubes leading out...

[Phox]

D&D (yes, that's a Goddamn competitive game). 

Munchkin much?

There is no other way to play.  The DM is your enemy.  He is there to be beaten about the head and neck with his own encounters.

When you're the DM, your job is to build a balanced encounter, and then flog the players with it to the last hit point.

Also, NPCs can measure their lifespan in fractions of a gold piece.

"I nudge the torch-bearer forward with my sword.  At 3SP/day, he's definitely going to earn that money."

This. 

[navkat]

I do miss playing Mage (Cult of Ecstasy, anyone?) and Shadowrun.

[The Wizard]

I do miss playing Mage (Cult of Ecstasy, anyone?) and Shadowrun.

Sons of Ether or GTFO!

(Though the Cult was my second choice)

[Luna]

I do miss playing Mage (Cult of Ecstasy, anyone?) and Shadowrun.

Sons of Ether or GTFO!

(Though the Cult was my second choice)

Heh.  Last time I played Mage, I snuck a character in with a crapload of Fame and Blatancy.  Justification:  She's a famous stage illusionist.

A wave of the cape and a "Ta Dah..."  The Storyteller almost murdered me.

[The Wizard]

Someone tried to do that in one of my games. Bastard did pretty well, until he built up to much paradox.

I had a paradox spirit pop out of his hat. 

[Luna]

Someone tried to do that in one of my games. Bastard did pretty well, until he built up to much paradox.

I had a paradox spirit pop out of his hat. 

It was a short-term campaign, I never built up enough paradox for it to do anything nasty.

Love the spirit popping out of his hat.     I DID expect to blow a roll, sooner or later, I just didn't.

[The Wizard]

It was a short-term campaign, I never built up enough paradox for it to do anything nasty.

Love the spirit popping out of his hat.    I DID expect to blow a roll, sooner or later, I just didn't.

I'd been waiting for a long time. Long campaign allows you to be patient.

I usually played a Son of Ether Adventurer. Always fun to play.   

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

I do miss playing Mage (Cult of Ecstasy, anyone?) and Shadowrun.

And surprisingly Shadowrun 4th ed is a workable system!

[The Wizard]

And surprisingly Shadowrun 4th ed is a workable system!

Have the books but never played it. Good?

[Luna]

My favorite White Wolf character had to have been my vampire.

Malkavian...  In a fit of "what the hell was I thinking," she was a five year old little girl.

"What?  I didn't do anything wrong...  It was the Count!"

(She carried around a stuffed Sesame Street Count doll...  I had one for a prop.)