Masterwork Monsters for Pathfinder

[Don Coyote]

Very nice.  I am thinking of taking that Leshy idea and making a sewer moss variant of it.

Oh yes. I like that.

I need to type up the rest of my custom monsters, and maybe find their stat blocks so I can type them up. I got a potentially nasty CR3 Nightmare that got me accusations of not know how to balance monsters, when no one died.

If it's a "boss" monster - I don't use them any more - that sounds perfect.  Scare the shit out of them, but nobody croaks unless they're dumb.  Or supremely unlucky.

"The kobold hits you with his spear for 128 HPs.  What can I say?  He got lucky."
- The Slayer's Guide to DMs.

My plan with this CR 3 Nightmare Unfettered Eidolon was to harass members of the party who felt guilt over letting a summoner die in the first session, weeks prior. The nightmare wasn't going to kill anyone, but it was going to make it hard for certain members, the rogue and the oracle, to rest while within the vicinity of the Spire, while draining small amounts of charisma. This was an evil and malicious entity that wanted the people it held responsible for the death of its master to suffer, not die. This also followed them having pissed off a 6th level evoker, leading to the death of a tribe of goblins they had befriended, the slaughter of a thief cult.

I felt it was both fair and logical that a powerful evil wizard would take out his anger on the nearest living things and make new defenses, like the necrocraft.

NICE.  The druid croaked in my Sunday game, and his velociraptor companion ran off into the swamp next to the city.

You can believe that's going to come back to haunt the party.

And yes, wizards are supposed to be smart.  They're going to react to the PCs and improve defenses.  Probably also hire some mercenaries as bodyguards.  And the Spire area is crawling with mercenary bands, mostly over a few miles in Thornkeep.

If shitty GM and his wife hadn't mentioned in character and out, that they felt bad, guilty even, about the death of the summoner, it would never had occurred to me to make that nightmare critter. 

The Echo Woods and specifically the clearing around the Spire is explicitly described as being a place of weird ass planar shit. I had encounter tables with WW1 era Russian troops, to include a wandering tank w/ crew. There is a friggen CR 6 green dragon lairing. The default encounter tables for the Echo Woods was no joke, same with the intra-level table for the Spire.

There was weird shit, that I just added to, and yet they had the gall to complain about not having appropriate WBL or that I had improperly stocked the available magic items in Ft Inevitable and Thornkeep shops.

I'm still pissed about this campaign and group.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Very nice.  I am thinking of taking that Leshy idea and making a sewer moss variant of it.

Oh yes. I like that.

I need to type up the rest of my custom monsters, and maybe find their stat blocks so I can type them up. I got a potentially nasty CR3 Nightmare that got me accusations of not know how to balance monsters, when no one died.

If it's a "boss" monster - I don't use them any more - that sounds perfect.  Scare the shit out of them, but nobody croaks unless they're dumb.  Or supremely unlucky.

"The kobold hits you with his spear for 128 HPs.  What can I say?  He got lucky."
- The Slayer's Guide to DMs.

My plan with this CR 3 Nightmare Unfettered Eidolon was to harass members of the party who felt guilt over letting a summoner die in the first session, weeks prior. The nightmare wasn't going to kill anyone, but it was going to make it hard for certain members, the rogue and the oracle, to rest while within the vicinity of the Spire, while draining small amounts of charisma. This was an evil and malicious entity that wanted the people it held responsible for the death of its master to suffer, not die. This also followed them having pissed off a 6th level evoker, leading to the death of a tribe of goblins they had befriended, the slaughter of a thief cult.

I felt it was both fair and logical that a powerful evil wizard would take out his anger on the nearest living things and make new defenses, like the necrocraft.

NICE.  The druid croaked in my Sunday game, and his velociraptor companion ran off into the swamp next to the city.

You can believe that's going to come back to haunt the party.

And yes, wizards are supposed to be smart.  They're going to react to the PCs and improve defenses.  Probably also hire some mercenaries as bodyguards.  And the Spire area is crawling with mercenary bands, mostly over a few miles in Thornkeep.

If shitty GM and his wife hadn't mentioned in character and out, that they felt bad, guilty even, about the death of the summoner, it would never had occurred to me to make that nightmare critter. 

The Echo Woods and specifically the clearing around the Spire is explicitly described as being a place of weird ass planar shit. I had encounter tables with WW1 era Russian troops, to include a wandering tank w/ crew. There is a friggen CR 6 green dragon lairing. The default encounter tables for the Echo Woods was no joke, same with the intra-level table for the Spire.

There was weird shit, that I just added to, and yet they had the gall to complain about not having appropriate WBL or that I had improperly stocked the available magic items in Ft Inevitable and Thornkeep shops.

I'm still pissed about this campaign and group.

So put the screws to them.  The summoner had political connections with the Hellknights, and now they're wanted for murder.

[Don Coyote]

I quit that group because shitty GM/player decided he couldn't talk directly to me and told my wife that I was being unreasonable about not wanting to deal with an asshole that joined the group.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I quit that group because shitty GM/player decided he couldn't talk directly to me and told my wife that I was being unreasonable about not wanting to deal with an asshole that joined the group.

Yeah, the whole point is "fun", and if you aren't having fun, find another group.

Right now, I'm at an all-time low for players (4 in one group, 5 in another), because one of my players deployed and the other had another kid and is sort of preoccupied.  I'm used to 6 player/1 DM groups.

Problem is, I have to go through 3-4 players to find one that won't make Monty Python references while chewing with his mouth open.

[Don Coyote]

I quit that group because shitty GM/player decided he couldn't talk directly to me and told my wife that I was being unreasonable about not wanting to deal with an asshole that joined the group.

Yeah, the whole point is "fun", and if you aren't having fun, find another group.

Right now, I'm at an all-time low for players (4 in one group, 5 in another), because one of my players deployed and the other had another kid and is sort of preoccupied.  I'm used to 6 player/1 DM groups.

Problem is, I have to go through 3-4 players to find one that won't make Monty Python references while chewing with his mouth open.

My wife had actually wrangled some people together for a test run. I decided that after everyone was 6 hours late, neither of the hosts were actually going to play, and two of the apes felt that "rape - rapier" jokes were the height of humor, that I would be recusing myself. The only reason we stuck around for 6 hours to start is because one of the hosts is my wife's coworker.

[LMNO]

Six hours late?

I'm trying to get my head around that.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Six hours late?

I'm trying to get my head around that.

Yeah, that's when you dump the group and start over.

[hooplala]

I would cut a motherfucker over that shit. 

[Cain]

I don't think I've ever been 6 hours late for anything.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Because there aren't enough golems:

Infested Paper Golem   CR 5
XP 1,600
N Medium Construct (infested)
Init  +0; Senses darkvision 60 ft, low-light vision; Perception +1

Defense
AC 14, touch 10, flat-footed 14  (+4 natural)
HP 47 (5d10+20)
Fort +1, Refc+1, Will +2
Defensive Abilities DR 5/adamantine ; Immune construct traits; SR 9 
Weaknesses fire vulnerability

Offense
Spd 20 ft
Melee 2 Slams +5 (1d4/20)

Tactics
During Combat The paper golem mindlessly attacks the nearest creature.
Morale The paper golem fights until destroyed.

Statistics
Str 10, Dex 10, Con -, Int -, Wis 12, Cha 4
Base Attack +5; CMB +5; CMD 15
SQ infested
Languages Taldane (cannot speak, will only listen to it's master)

Ecology
Environment Deschaine Manor
Organization solitary

Special Abilities
Infested (Ex) The paper golem houses a wasp's nest.  Upon the first successful melee attack (a hit, whether it gets through DR or not is irrelevant), a wasp swarm appears, and attacks the closest person(s).  If the golem takes fire damage, the wasp swarm also takes area of effect damage, but with a +4 to its save.  The wasp swarm is calculated into the DC of the golem.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Cursed Duck      CR 4
XP 1,200
N Tiny animal
Init  +2; Senses Perception +1

Defense
AC 12, touch 12, flat-footed 12 (+2 Dex)
HP 4 (1d8)
Fort +3, Ref +5, Will +1

Offense
Spd 10 ft, fly 40 (clumsy)
Melee peck -9 (1d2-4)
Space 2-1/2 ft; Reach 0 ft

Tactics
Before Combat The duck will walk toward the PCs, looking for a handout.  It will follow them around, quacking (-5 Stealth)
During Combat The duck will peck at characters.
Morale The duck will fight until it takes damage.

Statistics
Str 2, Dex 14, Con 10, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 10
Base Attack +0; CMB; CMD
Skills Fly +8, swim +4
   Racial Bonuses Swim +8
SQ Cursed

Ecology
Environment temperate wetlands
Organization single, pair, flock (3-9)
Treasure none

Special Abilities
Curse of the Duck (Su) Anyone who picks up, grapples, or attacks the duck with a melee weapon must make a Will save DC 16 or be cursed with the duck.  A ghostly duck will appear  perched on the victim's head, and will quack loudly whenever the victim attempts to be quiet, inflicting a -20 on the victim's Stealth skill checks, and doubling the chance of a random encounter.  The victim can neither see nor hear the duck, but anyone else can.  The save is Charisma-based, with a +6 hoodoo modifier.  The curse can only affect one person; once a person is cursed, the duck becomes a normal duck.  This is a curse effect, and can be removed by any spell that affects curses, with the normal chance of success.  You should know better than to pick up a duck in a dungeon.


(Obviously, if you've played Munchkin, you'll recognize this.)

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Dadaists      CR 2
XP 600
CN Medium monstrous humanoid (dadist)
Init +2; Senses darkvision 60 ft; Perception 
Aura confusion 20 ft (DC 13, special) 

Defense
AC 14, touch 12, flat-footed 12 (+2 armor, +2 Dex)
HP 22 (3d10+6)
Fort +7 , Ref +7, Will +2

Offense
Spd 30 ft
Melee dagger +6 (1d4/19-20)

Tactics
Before Combat The dadaists will make no preparations aside from drawing their weapons, and will make comments that make no sense for the situation, usually art-related.
During Combat The dadaists will attempt to flank.
Morale Dadaists fight to the death.

Statistics
Str 10, Dex 14, Con 14, Int 10, Wis 12, Cha 14
Base Attack +3; CMB +3; CMD 15
Feats Weapon Focus (dagger), Weapon Finesse
Skills Climb +6, Perception +7, Stealth +8, Survival +7
Languages Taldane

Ecology
Environment any
Organization solitary, pair, parliament (3-12)
Treasure  standard
Gear dagger, leather armor

Special Abilities
Confusion Aura (Su) The dadaists' strange appearace (both eyes on the side of their head, etc) radiates a c

[Cain]

I think I've read too many of your monsters.  Even without reading the description of your Paper Golem I was like "I'm not going near that thing, I'm setting it on fire, from range, and running."  Because seriously, no-one would make a golem out of paper unless they wanted something terrifying to emerge from its body, and nothing is more terrifying than wasps.  Except maybe a jar of bees.

[Vanadium Gryllz]

Special Abilities
Confusion Aura (Su) The dadaists' strange appearace (both eyes on the side of their head, etc) radiates a c

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I think I've read too many of your monsters.  Even without reading the description of your Paper Golem I was like "I'm not going near that thing, I'm setting it on fire, from range, and running."  Because seriously, no-one would make a golem out of paper unless they wanted something terrifying to emerge from its body, and nothing is more terrifying than wasps.  Except maybe a jar of bees.

See?  You've adapted.

It's like a pinata of FUN!