Serious Self-Chat About Erisian Exceptionalism

[tyrannosaurus vex]

Now, look. I don't want to ruffle your feathers or make your blood pressure go up or get you all red in the face or anything, but there are a few things we need to sit down and discuss. First of all, I'd like to welcome you to the Cult of Eris. Yeah yeah, I know that sounds pase' and over the top and everything, and that's part of why I asked you to have this chat. See, there's a lot of bullshit in the world. You know that, I know that, and they know that. And lately, there's a distressing trend to come to some kind of general consensus that bullshit should enjoy "equality" with the Truth. We have to play "your opinion is fine and mine is OK too" games with our words, they say, otherwise Enlightenment, and Understanding, and all that other Hippie crap they worship, will never be realized.

I have to tell you, you're starting to sound just like them. Too timid to just come out and say what's on your mind. So concerned with what other people feel and believe that you're now completely unsure what you believe, and how you feel. It's OK. I guess we all go through that, most of us more than once. But it's only OK if you recognize that it's a problem, and admit you need help.

In the Cult of Eris, if there's one thing that stands above all else, it's that bullshit is bullshit, and the Truth is the Truth. You see, Eris just doesn't work if you try to play around with that central idea. It all comes out sounding like unintelligible Dadaism or hyper-serious Dogma. The DISCORD in DISCORDIA is not something you have to generate, design, deploy, or do on purpose. It's a side effect. It's what happens naturally when you don't put up with bullshit. It's the kind of destruction that comes to a house of cards built on top of a hundred other houses of cards, when you take the Jokers out of the deck. And Eris knows we need to take the Jokers out of the deck. It's stacked with them, and it's getting worse.

The Cult of Eris is not about understanding your enemy. It is not about feeling compassion for those poor saps who are stuck in the tar pit of their own bullshit. It's about spraying them down with the holy flamethrower of Truth. We are not a polite organization. We are not a charity. We are not the ACLU of the Marketplace of Ideas. We're like Westborough Baptist Church. The only difference is, we are right, and they're not. Does that make you uncomfortable? Does it feel wrong to assert your superiority? Too bad. You're in this club, and this club is in you.

It's a Cult, goddammit. It isn't an after-school club for boys and girls with bad haircuts. You're here to be all you can be, whatever the hell that means, in the name of Eris. That means you're going to have to accept the fact that you are, in fact, better than they are. You are smarter, more evolved, and better equipped. You're a biped; they are apes. And it's time you dropped this happy-lovey crap that is holding you back. You don't have to answer to them, you don't have to make them understand, or avoid hurting their feelings. They are animals.

What, did you expect this religion to be "different" from any other? The one common theme in all religions is that their adherents think they are right. The only thing that sets Discordianism apart is that we (YOU) really are.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Fuck yes.

PREACH IT, BROTHER VEX!

[Don Coyote]

I shat myself from the awesome.

[Salty]

[Phox]

I am Doktor Phox and I approve this message.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

EXCELLENT!!!

[Cainad (dec.)]

HALLELUJAH

The only thing that I waste any sympathy on are those bipeds who have been conditioned to believe that deviating from the other apes is BadWrong.

[Precious Moments Zalgo]

AMEN!  PREACH IT, BROTHER!

[The Good Reverend Roger]

HALLELUJAH

The only thing that I waste any sympathy on are those bipeds who have been conditioned to believe that deviating from the other apes is BadWrong.

The only apes I don't hate are already dead.

And I am still occasionally tempted to dig 'em up and violate their corpses.

[East Coast Hustle]

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

I agree with the general thrust of confrontation in this rant, however I don't agree with the call to dehumanize the "enemy" and toss out compassion. None of "us" are immune to bullshit. We might have more robust defenses to it, but we all end up in tar pits of our own bullshit from time to time. Compassion towards ourselves in such times of poop helps us regain our strength.

Which calls into question this clear distinction between us and the enemy. In extreme cases it's obvious, but in most cases it's not. It's easy to say "bullshit is bullshit, and the Truth is the Truth," but in reality, it's all tangled together and most of is filed under "!?!?!?!?". Even gay Creationists doing eight-balls of meth off each other's scrotums have a grip on some amount of Truth, and there's not one Discordian on this site that isn't at least ankle deep in their own bullshit.

I'm also kind of surprised that you'd advocate not trying to understand enemies. I think that's one of the most important things to do. When I read that I instantly thought about all those Arabic-translating soldiers thrown out of the military for being gay. It's just so shockingly stupid and counterproductive. They might as well have ordered every US soldier to shoot themselves in the foot. How is this not the very bullshit you'd have us hose down with Truth brand napalm?

Now if I were to follow your logic here, I should be roasting you alive at this moment with a smug look of superiority on my face. I can see the appeal. I'm not though, because I do believe compassion and understanding are conducive to my aims as well as having intrinsic value. Confronting bullshit does not preclude these ideas nor does it necessitate full on kill mode. Sometimes the Free Market™ demands a beat down, sure, but in my experience, empathy increases the likelihood that the entire exchange will shift in my favor, while treating my opponent as though they are inhuman almost guarantees that I will lose ground.

I think there's a place for merciless assault on a person, but it's not our modus operandi. At least, it's not mine. Let's be perfectly honest here, all Truth and no Bullshit* makes spags a tedious buttsmear.

*when Pinealism is genuinely humorous, and not in a laughing-at-you kind of way.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

I submit to you sir the following:

1. You should in fact be roasting me alive at this moment with a smug look of superiority on your face. Anything less would be a disappointment. In a way, by the way, you are.

2. The only difference between a proper Discordian and a pair of gay Creationists doing eight-balls of meth off each other's scrotums, is that the Discordian would be aware of the absurdity of such behavior.

As for dehumanization, I don't really see a problem here. Of course, the line between the salvageable and the unsalvageable is often blurry, but as far as the Truly Fucked go, you can't really dehumanize that which is Human only by DNA in the first place. What is the definition of Human, anyway? Something you could successfully breed with? If that is the case, then zebras are horses.

I don't advocate sending anybody to the Showers or anything, but let's face it: these hairless chimps are not worth saving. I imagine that if by some magic you were able to instantaneously enlighten the entire global population, the only difference it would make is people at Walmart would pull up their damn pants once in a while and stop drooling all over the shopping carts. Overall, enlightenment is worthless, which is why Discordianism doesn't give you enlightenment. It gives you the ability to be enlightened, which is completely different.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I don't advocate sending anybody to the Showers or anything, but let's face it: these hairless chimps are not worth saving.

Correct.  When you wake 'em up, they just start hollering.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

I submit to you sir the following:

1. You should in fact be roasting me alive at this moment with a smug look of superiority on your face. Anything less would be a disappointment. In a way, by the way, you are.

2. The only difference between a proper Discordian and a pair of gay Creationists doing eight-balls of meth off each other's scrotums, is that the Discordian would be aware of the absurdity of such behavior.

As for dehumanization, I don't really see a problem here. Of course, the line between the salvageable and the unsalvageable is often blurry, but as far as the Truly Fucked go, you can't really dehumanize that which is Human only by DNA in the first place. What is the definition of Human, anyway? Something you could successfully breed with? If that is the case, then zebras are horses.

I don't advocate sending anybody to the Showers or anything, but let's face it: these hairless chimps are not worth saving. I imagine that if by some magic you were able to instantaneously enlighten the entire global population, the only difference it would make is people at Walmart would pull up their damn pants once in a while and stop drooling all over the shopping carts. Overall, enlightenment is worthless, which is why Discordianism doesn't give you enlightenment. It gives you the ability to be enlightened, which is completely different.

1. In a way I did, sure. Any disagreement implies that I think my argument is superior, though I don't think I'm being especially smug or condescending about it.

2. Agreed.

If your standard operating procedure is to dehumanize your enemy, regardless of the enemy, it kind of loses it's power. I'd rather reserve the dehumanizing tactics for more reprehensible behavior.

Also, I think a lot of people are born into poverty and ignorance and don't even remotely comprehend how they're being screwed over. Attacking their tribe on an identity level as opposed to a behavioral level is likely to only strengthen their allegiance and distract from the Weird facts being presented to them.

Interesting point about the ability to be enlightened being more valuable than enlightenment itself. That's gold, man.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

So how much do you have to pay to qualify for the next layer of truth?