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Obese Man Found Fused to Chair Dies

Started by Juana, March 31, 2011, 07:36:49 AM

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Juana

March 31, 2011, 07:36:49 AM
from Gawker
QuoteAn obese man died after being found "fused to his chair" in his Bellaire, Ohio home, where he had sat in a recliner for two years. Police—called by his girlfriend—had remove him through a hole in the wall.

"Community reaction is intense," local CBS affiliate WTRF tells us. ("Vomit" counts as "intense reaction," as does "an unbelievable, existential sadness.") One officer called it "the worst thing he ever responded to," and another "threw away his soiled uniform after freeing the man."

Questions, obviously, remain: Was he actually fused to his chair? (Yes, according to WRTF, "with bedsores, maggots and excrement everywhere"; no, according to ABC affiliates which report that "the man's skin was stuck to the chair with urine and feces.") And: His girlfriend? (Yep: She "brought him food and soda pop.") And: Why didn't anyone do anything? (There is no law stopping adults from eating as much as they want or sitting in whichever chairs they want.) And: What was wrong? (No one seems to know, yet.) And also: Can I write a story about this guy for my MFA portfolio? (Yes, but please don't make him a metaphor for America, or capitalism, or whatever.)

(The house, by the way, is now being cleaned by seven people.)
:lulz: :vom:
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

Don Coyote

#1
March 31, 2011, 07:46:55 AM
he was America. that is the New Dream.

Jasper

#2
March 31, 2011, 09:01:45 AM
What strikes me is that this has been posted in High Weirdness when this is completely to be expected.

Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

#3
March 31, 2011, 10:01:37 AM
This will, of course, convince Lay-Z-Boy that now is the time to expand their line of recliners to include potty chairs for adults, with a hatch in the side so a loved one can remove and clean the poop storage compartment. And maybe some sort of dining-table like insert that allows the chair to widen and have cushioned slats inserted to better accommodate the chair's owner as their backside expands . . .
Weevil-Infested Badfun Wrongsex Referee From The 9th Earth
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Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS

"The only way we can ever change anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy." - Akala  'Find No Enemy'.

Jasper

#4
March 31, 2011, 10:04:40 AM
NEW!  FUSE-GARD UPHOLSTERING!  WITHSTANDS UP TO SIX YEARS* OF SUSTAINED SKIN CONTACT! 

ONLY AT YOUR LOCAL WAL*MART!

:spag:

Nephew Twiddleton

#5
March 31, 2011, 01:21:53 PM
What I want to know is how this person not only had, but maintained a relationship with this woman....
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Sentence or sentence fragment pending

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Luna

#6
March 31, 2011, 01:26:02 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on March 31, 2011, 01:21:53 PM
What I want to know is how this person not only had, but maintained a relationship with this woman....

She likely ENJOYED having someone totally dependent on her, on some sick level.  I hope they're looking at getting help for her.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
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Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Juana

#7
March 31, 2011, 05:10:43 PM
Quote from: Sigmatic on March 31, 2011, 09:01:45 AM
What strikes me is that this has been posted in High Weirdness when this is completely to be expected.
Obesity to this level, yes. But fusing to his chair? That's pretty fucking weird. IMO, anyway.
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

Triple Zero

#8
March 31, 2011, 05:54:00 PM
Hover Cat: if it's a leather chair and he's obese that he can't move cause of obesity, you're gonna get fused. Have you never sat in a leather chair in the summer while wearing short clothes?

Was this not one of the murders in the movie Se7en?
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

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Juana

#9
March 31, 2011, 06:03:01 PM
Nope. Leather isn't done too much on anything you're gonna sit on around here. Regularly hits +100* degrees and hot leather is unpleasant. And I don't think most recliners have real leather upholstery.

Also nope. The killer kicked him (or something to that effect) after force feeding him until the point that the kick ruptured organs. Died at his kitchen table. IIRC, anyway.
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

Jasper

#10
March 31, 2011, 08:04:15 PM
Quote from: Hover Cat on March 31, 2011, 05:10:43 PM
Quote from: Sigmatic on March 31, 2011, 09:01:45 AM
What strikes me is that this has been posted in High Weirdness when this is completely to be expected.
Obesity to this level, yes. But fusing to his chair? That's pretty fucking weird. IMO, anyway.

The normality you knew is canceled.  In other news, La-Z-Boy is changing is name to "Differently-Abled-Boy".

Jenne

#11
April 01, 2011, 01:48:45 AM
This, uh, isn't the first time this has happened.  I've heard about this before--about oh, 5-6 years ago...?

http://www.wftv.com/news/3643877/detail.html  ...guess it was 7

Juana

#12
April 01, 2011, 02:45:48 AM Last Edit: April 01, 2011, 06:01:25 AM by Hover Cat
*shrug* Seven years ago I was a relatively innocent fifteen year old and very Catholic, so it's new to me.
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

Jenne

#13
April 01, 2011, 04:50:42 AM
Quote from: Hover Cat on April 01, 2011, 02:45:48 AM
*shrug* Seven years ago I was a relatively innocent fifteen year old and very Catholic, so it's new to me.

:crankey:

...damned kids...

Jenne

#14
April 01, 2011, 04:51:06 AM
...I say that with all the love in my heart, HC.  ;)
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