The MAN Laws. A silly listing.

[Suu]

Women talk while they pee in the next stall over all the time.  Wonder why this is not verboten universally?

We have the Law of the Pee Buddy. That's why.

This concept is strange and frightening.

Even if you do not go pee when asked to play the role of the Pee Buddy, it's important that you stay with the one who designated you. You go to the bathroom with her, you talk with her while she is in the stall, usually about someone else, make sure she's not getting sick, make sure you have a tampon or pad if needed, meet her at the sink, and then exit.

it's just...a rule.

Unless it's hella fucking crowded, then I just wait in the damned doorway or hall.  No fucking way am I cramming into a peehole for 5 other women to stand on top of me if there's no room or nothing to move around or talk.  I'm too old.  Or something. 

Oh  these little microbehaviors we have.

Again, that's law.

"I'll hang right here. Don't worry I won't go anywhere!!"

[Richter]

It is however, acceptable to speak to whoever is in the restroom with you, provided that you are now both at the sink and washing your hands. Until both parties are at the sink, towel dispenser or door, conversation cannot happen.

Absolutely correct.  You are both scholar and gentleman.

Can't tell you if much is visible or not (eyes to the wall!). Also, urinals are usually pretty quiet unless you get that guy who pees directly into the water, usually with as much force applied to his bladder to make the sound as deep and resonant as possible, which I also think is weird.

You HAVE to!  This is one of few ways you can HINT at the size or fury of your genitals without direct exposure, and must be undertaken at least for psychological warfare reasons!

[Nephew Twiddleton]

It is however, acceptable to speak to whoever is in the restroom with you, provided that you are now both at the sink and washing your hands. Until both parties are at the sink, towel dispenser or door, conversation cannot happen.

Absolutely correct.  You are both scholar and gentleman.

Can't tell you if much is visible or not (eyes to the wall!). Also, urinals are usually pretty quiet unless you get that guy who pees directly into the water, usually with as much force applied to his bladder to make the sound as deep and resonant as possible, which I also think is weird.

You HAVE to!  This is one of few ways you can HINT at the size or fury of your genitals without direct exposure, and must be undertaken at least for psychological warfare reasons!

Is also true. I always got the sense that sort of behavior was showing off.

Also a man rule:
If you have to take a dump and someone is in the rest room, you have two options.
GO to the urinal and wait him out. If you go to the stall, he'll know what you're doing.
Run to the stall with your hand over your mouth, slam the door, make wretching noises.

Taking a dump is a furtive thing, that should never be known about.

[Jenne]

FLUSH, man.  It's the easiest cover.  Take cover in the furthest stall down and just flush serially.

[Suu]

I purpose wait it out in the bathroom before I take a dump so no one hears it...then again, sometimes ripping serious ass is the best way to clear the place.

[Disco Pickle]

decently funny video about male restroom etiquette:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzO1mCAVyMw&feature=related

10 minutes is a bit long, but still a pretty good video.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I purpose wait it out in the bathroom before I take a dump so no one hears it...then again, sometimes ripping serious ass is the best way to clear the place.

[Cainad (dec.)]

Women talk while they pee in the next stall over all the time.  Wonder why this is not verboten universally?

We have the Law of the Pee Buddy. That's why.

This concept is strange and frightening.

Yeah, I can see how it would be if men have all these "no talking" b.s. rules about peeing.  I mean, not MUCH of the dong is actually visible when you're streaming, is it?

I think women sometimes talk to cover the noise of the stream and the grunts you hear.  Distracting yourself from the noises and smells is much better than sitting and well, STEWING in it.

I disagree, due to my testosterone levels. Silently going about our respective business, regardless of the sounds or smells involved, is much less weird than the feeling of "Oh my god, this person is trying to talk to me while they are pooping."

IMO, of course.

[Remington]

The force of the urinal-in-between rule can be lessened if said urinals are partitioned:


It should still be followed unless absolutely necessary, however.

[Richter]

I purpose wait it out in the bathroom before I take a dump so no one hears it...then again, sometimes ripping serious ass is the best way to clear the place.

Then BLOW THE FUCKERS OUT OF THE WATER!
TIGHTENTHE ABS, LOOSE THE SPHINCTER, AND GIVE VOICE TO WHAT YOU FEEL!  (kiiiiiiilllll mee!)

Remember in "Hunt for Red October" when the USA sub breaches?  Like that.  Jsut people clearing the abthroom.

IF THEY CNA'T TAKE THE HEAT^TMP, THEY HAVE NO PLACE IN MAH KITCHEN.

[Richter]

The force of the urinal-in-between rule can be lessened if said urinals are partitioned:


It should still be followed unless absolutely necessary, however.

We've got this German Club down here that jsut has a huge trough along one wall for peeing.  It's psychology in action I swear.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

THe bus station in Cork City also has a trough.

That's probably why I think that Cork City is such a scuzzy place. Well, that and the scuzz. But maybe the scuzz is a result of the trough, as Pickle's video shows.

[Luna]

The force of the urinal-in-between rule can be lessened if said urinals are partitioned:


It should still be followed unless absolutely necessary, however.

We've got this German Club down here that jsut has a huge trough along one wall for peeing.  It's psychology in action I swear.

One of these nights, we've gotta hang around 'til the place empties just so I can go in and see this thing.   

[Payne]

About 30% of the pubs/bars/clubs I've gone to has the trough.

It allows for much more flexible positioning with regards to The MAN Law.

It also allows for various gimmicks such as pictures of wimminz whose bikini tops disapear when you wizz on them (which is an entirely healthy message, I say! [/is joke]), television screens behind perspex and floating ping pong balls that are moved up/down the trough as per the SHEER MANFORCE of participating urinary gaming gents.

Rules of The Trough:

If the trough is at floor level, one must rely on native Man Skills to judge the angle of the stream of justice against the wall correctly to save from shame and pissing on another worthy gentlemans boots.

If the trough is at a higher level, treat exactly as a huge urinal in all respects but bear in mind the spacing requirements.

Trough games are only to be indulged in when alone or with consenting adult pisseurs.

NEVER CROSS THE STREAMS.

[Luna]

About 30% of the pubs/bars/clubs I've gone to has the trough.

It allows for much more flexible positioning with regards to The MAN Law.

It also allows for various gimmicks such as pictures of wimminz whose bikini tops disapear when you wizz on them (which is an entirely healthy message, I say! [/is joke]), television screens behind perspex and floating ping pong balls that are moved up/down the trough as per the SHEER MANFORCE of participating urinary gaming gents.

Rules of The Trough:

If the trough is at floor level, one must rely on native Man Skills to judge the angle of the stream of justice against the wall correctly to save from shame and pissing on another worthy gentlemans boots.

If the trough is at a higher level, treat exactly as a huge urinal in all respects but bear in mind the spacing requirements.

Trough games are only to be indulged in when alone or with consenting adult pisseurs.

NEVER CROSS THE STREAMS.

  Can't breathe...