The MAN Laws. A silly listing.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

About 30% of the pubs/bars/clubs I've gone to has the trough.

It allows for much more flexible positioning with regards to The MAN Law.

It also allows for various gimmicks such as pictures of wimminz whose bikini tops disapear when you wizz on them (which is an entirely healthy message, I say! [/is joke]), television screens behind perspex and floating ping pong balls that are moved up/down the trough as per the SHEER MANFORCE of participating urinary gaming gents.

Rules of The Trough:

If the trough is at floor level, one must rely on native Man Skills to judge the angle of the stream of justice against the wall correctly to save from shame and pissing on another worthy gentlemans boots.

If the trough is at a higher level, treat exactly as a huge urinal in all respects but bear in mind the spacing requirements.

Trough games are only to be indulged in when alone or with consenting adult pisseurs.

NEVER CROSS THE STREAMS.

[Richter]

Payne wins Fread.

[Jenne]

@Cainad: women don't usually talk while #2, it's all pee, man. All pee.

Payne, that was orsome, and I've seen those troughs on the floor. Those take some skeelz. ESP if you're uh three sheets to the windish...

[Bruno]

I think I had a Muslim guy praying towards me in the next stall in the bathroom at work while I was taking a huge steaming dump a couple of months ago.

It was weird.

[Kai]

Thank fuck I don't have to abide any of these stupid rules.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I wish we had squat toilets in the US. That would change a few things I bet.

[Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ]

NOOOO that would be terrible

[Eater of Clowns]

On a serious note, I've always thought devising some hackneyed rules for manhood qualifies as one of the least manly things it's possible to do.  All they ever say to me are that guys are coming up with excuses as to why they're so manly, when really the manliest thing would be to just say "I'm a man, therefore whatever I do is something that a man does."

[Phox]

Thank fuck I don't have to abide any of these stupid rules.

Agreed. Fuck all that noise.

[Don Coyote]

I wish we had squat toilets in the US. That would change a few things I bet.

I read that squat toilets are better for your bowels and reduce the incidence of hemorrhoids.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Men must never admit to consuming Parfait, Smoothie, blush wines, wines coolers, fruited beer, quiche, salad, wrapped sandwiches, or brunch.  Any man who needs consume these in cases of extremis must refer to them as "cereal", "Shake", "Booze", "punch", "Beer", "pie", "garnish", "sammich" or "chow", and silently cry in shame in the dark later.  Violations of this only accrue thee shame.

Never understood that.  I loves me some quiche.

At least one urinal must be maintained between men urinating at all times.  If no nonadjacent urinal is free, use a stall.  Rest stops and cases of extremis are partial exceptions, but any violation accrues the violator some shame or douchebaggery.

Balls.  You take the urinal RIGHT NEXT TO THE ONLY OTHER GUY IN THE CAN, and you giggle.  A bit.  If done correctly, he'll piss on his shoe.

Men are not to converse at the urinal.  They must stand under a vow of silence, and only break this once they are done.  Do not address another silent man at the urinal.  Violations of this add to the vioaltor's douchebaggery.

HI!  HAVE YOU FOUND JESUS?

Conversation between toilet stalls is double douchebaggery.

But howling in simulated agony is 169% MAN.

Men are not to allow anyone to bump them in a crowd, pass them while driving, cut them in line, or opperate a vehicle poorly or slowly in their presence without admonishing them "FUCK YOU ASSHOLE".  Failure to do so will surely bring shame.

Okay, can't argue that one.

Men are not to order a vegetarian or chicken dish at a restaurant when a less-manly cohort is ordring a more manly meal of steak or pork, lest shame be accrued.  Choose wisely.

Lots of chicken and salad, here.  And then I point out that my colleague's won't fart with as much flavor.

[BabylonHoruv]

I not only drink fruit beer, I homebrew it.

<---refusing to subscribe to gender stereotypes.

[Richter]

I fail parody, apparently 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I fail parody, apparently 

When satire meets America, part I.   

[Richter]

I fail parody, apparently 

When satire meets America, part I.   

That explains how we got the Tea Party.