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RIP Jenkem and Tomahawks

Started by Richter, May 02, 2011, 08:06:34 PM

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Richter

May 02, 2011, 08:06:34 PM
"If it keeps on rainin', levy's gonna....oh SHIT."  -R. Plant

The Tucson of my dreams is a filthy city.  The Good Reverend Roger, Sister Gothique, and Sister Fracture have given me no illusions about this, but I'm prejudiced in a certain way.  Around here, the Northeast where things are old and stories, the filth is layered.  It's a patina, a sign of distinction, and almost expected in some ways, like the brown sheen on an antique blade, the wood paneling darkened by time, smoke, and sin in the parlors of the old world's Hellfire clubs.  This sort of history, decadence and sophistication lends a banality to it all.  A distasteful air of accepting and bearing the ennui of sweet forbidden fruits that only someone with too much time or money would put on. 

Tucson has had no time for this, and I can only imagine the rabid screaming, the still fresh thrill in the air, and no one worn out or bored enough with perversion to ruin the mood when everyone else is having a GOOD time. 

This sort of thing needs to be handed with care though, or it can reach critical mass.  It started back when Sister Gothique left.  TGRR prepared for her eventual return, putting aside a tithe of Thai rental boys for her pleasure, sealing them in the ancient ways so they might be pure and enthusiastic for their duty.  Whenever it would come. 

Next came the Mechaniboyfriend Mk. 1.  Some say Roger was mad to attempt the first, and the truth is he knew he'd HAVE to be mad to get it RIGHT. The beast was built to well, and too powerful by its slathering artificer though.  It fucked itself to pieces, and they were lost to the four winds and the neighbor's dog.  The fabrication facilities were abandoned, the site leveled by thermite, and it was thought all was over. 
Not so. 
The pieces were picked up by the most un-likely of sorts.  Aged refugees from a boy scout troop found one part, and began copying the infernal design, at whose purpose they could not guess.  Some pervert hobbyists found another fragment, and they too, guessing the purpose, began to assemble.  Finally, a group of disgruntled fairies and brownies got another part, and casting aside their quaint old work tools for stolen "Snap on" wrenches, and cheap screwdrivers, they too began their build. 

Strange contraptions, their designs skewing and developing organically with no central sense or purpose were formed, until one day the three groups met by stinky coincidence, and their respective Sodom engines merged Voltron – like into a new clanking obscentity. The mechanical creation looked to the heavens with innocent, yet horrible vacuum tube eyes, and bellowed for its mistress, a – bouncing bedecked with a hundred wangs 

Finally, the Freaky Relief Front, was formed.  The sensible and appropriate young adults of the city, sent envoy too her. 

...Only to merge into a horrible screaming mob with the machine construct and the rent boy mob that was released when it stomped through the warehouse Roger had them stashed in.

Some say Freaky was torn asunder by this bizarre mob.
Some say she vanished amongst them, mercifully pulled from this universe the moment the thai boys began to howl and the automaton opened up with the Astroglide cannons.

Pleasant, fairytale fictions. 

The mob knew its leader and savior, and bore her away.  Despite what many say and despite the fact that this full page will cover technically an obituary, and despite that I have the editors pasword for this one day only, I tell thee, BEWARE.  For she roams the desert with her inexhaustible, insatiable horde, when you hear the howling of gears, voices, with barbershop quartet accompaniment, dig a hole and bury yourself alive, or eat your own pistol.  It will be better than your fate before the subjects of the lady of Jenkem and Tomahawks.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

The Good Reverend Roger

#1
May 02, 2011, 08:08:40 PM
 :lulz::mittens::lulz:

I love Mo'Bituaries.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Luna

#2
May 02, 2011, 08:16:01 PM
Like the Wild Hunt...  Only...

Damn.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Adios

#3
May 02, 2011, 08:16:37 PM
Freeky...with all of that unbridled power at her disposal...gods help us all.

LMNO

#4
May 02, 2011, 08:17:15 PM
Get 'er down into the sewers... Nessies won't know what hit 'em.

The Good Reverend Roger

#5
May 02, 2011, 08:17:24 PM
Quote from: Luna on May 02, 2011, 08:16:01 PM
Like the Wild Hunt...  Only...

...Only without the Welsh shit.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Dysfunctional Cunt

#6
May 02, 2011, 10:44:22 PM
 :lulz:

They just keep getting better!!!

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#7
May 02, 2011, 11:22:25 PM
This is wonderful!
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

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