News:

Hand drawn by monkeys in sweat-shop conditions.

Main Menu

This story really mooved me.

Started by Lies, May 05, 2011, 08:54:41 AM

Previous topic - Next topic
Print
Go Down Pages1 2
User actions

Lies

May 05, 2011, 08:54:41 AM
​An 18-year-old man dressed in a cow costume stole 26 gallons of milk from a Virginia Walmart

http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runninscared/2011/04/man_in_cow_cost.php
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

- So the New World Order does not actually exist?
- Oh it exists, and how!
Ask the slaves whose labour built the White House;
Ask the slaves of today tied down to sweatshops and brothels to escape hunger;
Ask most women, second class citizens, in a pervasive rape culture;
Ask the non-human creatures who inhabit the planet:
whales, bears, frogs, tuna, bees, slaughtered farm animals;
Ask the natives of the Americas and Australia on whose land
you live today, on whose graves your factories, farms and neighbourhoods stand;
ask any of them this, ask them if the New World Order is true;
they'll tell you plainly: the New World Order... is you!

Suu

#1
May 05, 2011, 04:51:00 PM
:spittake:
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#2
May 05, 2011, 06:44:29 PM
26 gallons? TWENTY-SIX GALLONS?

So, somehow a guy in a cow suit managed to remove 26 GALLONS of milk from a store on his hands and knees... without anyone stopping him?

I mean, did they just not notice until he got to the last gallon?

Or  :?
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#3
May 05, 2011, 06:46:58 PM
Quote from: Nigel on May 05, 2011, 06:44:29 PM
26 gallons? TWENTY-SIX GALLONS?

So, somehow a guy in a cow suit managed to remove 26 GALLONS of milk from a store on his hands and knees... without anyone stopping him?

I mean, did they just not notice until he got to the last gallon?

Or  :?

If YOU were the clerk, would YOU stop him?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#4
May 05, 2011, 06:48:04 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 05, 2011, 06:46:58 PM
Quote from: Nigel on May 05, 2011, 06:44:29 PM
26 gallons? TWENTY-SIX GALLONS?

So, somehow a guy in a cow suit managed to remove 26 GALLONS of milk from a store on his hands and knees... without anyone stopping him?

I mean, did they just not notice until he got to the last gallon?

Or  :?

If YOU were the clerk, would YOU stop him?

Fuck no! I'd be too busy taking video.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#5
May 05, 2011, 06:50:32 PM
Quote from: Nigel on May 05, 2011, 06:48:04 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 05, 2011, 06:46:58 PM
Quote from: Nigel on May 05, 2011, 06:44:29 PM
26 gallons? TWENTY-SIX GALLONS?

So, somehow a guy in a cow suit managed to remove 26 GALLONS of milk from a store on his hands and knees... without anyone stopping him?

I mean, did they just not notice until he got to the last gallon?

Or  :?

If YOU were the clerk, would YOU stop him?

Fuck no! I'd be too busy taking video.

This.  I'd just stand there and bask in the weirdness.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Miss Demeanor

#6
May 05, 2011, 06:53:20 PM
Wal Mart's policy is to not deter the crime while in progress.  Seems they're afraid of being sued for accusing someone prematurely.
JESUS SAVES!   By shopping wisely and using double coupons!

Triple Zero

#7
May 05, 2011, 06:54:22 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 05, 2011, 06:46:58 PM
Quote from: Nigel on May 05, 2011, 06:44:29 PM
26 gallons? TWENTY-SIX GALLONS?

So, somehow a guy in a cow suit managed to remove 26 GALLONS of milk from a store on his hands and knees... without anyone stopping him?

I mean, did they just not notice until he got to the last gallon?

Or  :?

If YOU were the clerk, would YOU stop him?

No, I would definitely look the udder way.
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

The Good Reverend Roger

#8
May 05, 2011, 06:55:05 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on May 05, 2011, 06:54:22 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 05, 2011, 06:46:58 PM
Quote from: Nigel on May 05, 2011, 06:44:29 PM
26 gallons? TWENTY-SIX GALLONS?

So, somehow a guy in a cow suit managed to remove 26 GALLONS of milk from a store on his hands and knees... without anyone stopping him?

I mean, did they just not notice until he got to the last gallon?

Or  :?

If YOU were the clerk, would YOU stop him?

No, I would definitely look the udder way.

:madbanana:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#9
May 05, 2011, 06:56:19 PM
Quote from: Miss Demeanor on May 05, 2011, 06:53:20 PM
Wal Mart's policy is to not deter the crime while in progress.  Seems they're afraid of being sued for accusing someone prematurely.

That's AWESOME. Because it had to have taken a WHILE for him to get all that milk outside. On all fours. I mean, that's like, oh shit, crime in progress for an hour!
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#10
May 05, 2011, 06:59:14 PM
If I ever want to do any super-crazy performance art, I'll dress up in pink latex and have someone surreptitiously record me dancing out of wal-mart with, oh I don't know, 50 bags of pretzels, one at a time, between my teeth.

I will then, upon completion of the act, pay for it all so they can't prosecute me. I'll just say it's my unique style of shopping.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Luna

#11
May 05, 2011, 07:03:01 PM
Quote from: Nigel on May 05, 2011, 06:59:14 PM
If I ever want to do any super-crazy performance art, I'll dress up in pink latex and have someone surreptitiously record me dancing out of wal-mart with, oh I don't know, 50 bags of pretzels, one at a time, between my teeth.

I will then, upon completion of the act, pay for it all so they can't prosecute me. I'll just say it's my unique style of shopping.

Get the method published in the next version of the Principia Discordia... and sue 'em for infringing on your religious freedom.   :wink:
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Jasper

#12
May 05, 2011, 07:34:38 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 05, 2011, 06:46:58 PM
Quote from: Nigel on May 05, 2011, 06:44:29 PM
26 gallons? TWENTY-SIX GALLONS?

So, somehow a guy in a cow suit managed to remove 26 GALLONS of milk from a store on his hands and knees... without anyone stopping him?

I mean, did they just not notice until he got to the last gallon?

Or  :?

If YOU were the clerk, would YOU stop him?

Only if I had a lasso.

Bruno

#13
May 05, 2011, 08:29:41 PM
Quote from: Miss Demeanor on May 05, 2011, 06:53:20 PM
Wal Mart's policy is to not deter the crime while in progress.  Seems they're afraid of being sued for accusing someone prematurely.

Or of overzealous security holding the suspect against hot pavement until they die.


Again.
Formerly something else...

*GrumpButt*

#14
May 05, 2011, 11:01:37 PM
QuoteAfterward, a man who seemed to match the description of the milk thief was seen in a local McDonald's, but he was not in a cow suit.

Wait..... What?
*sigh* You have to be kidding me.
Print
Go Up Pages1 2
User actions