Principia Discordia > Literate Chaotic
ITT, You ask TGRR anything about history, and get the REAL TRUTH™
Jasper:
--- Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 10, 2011, 06:15:34 pm ---
--- Quote from: Sigmatic on May 10, 2011, 06:03:15 pm ---Why did Henry 8 REALLY need to keep remarrying?
--- End quote ---
He didn't. This was really the biggest mistake of his reign. I mean, you're the KING, right? YOU make the rules. So you just bang hotties until one pumps out a son. When someone complains, you cut THEIR head off, instead of the hottie's. Less pissy barons, more smokin' hot babes.
Problem is, Henry had one FUCK of a case of shingles1, and was unable to exert the necessary force of character to make that happen.
1 I've heard it was venereal disease of some kind, which isn't possible, due to the fact that he used Cardinal Wolsey as a condom, and Scurvy is right out, because Henry wasn't a sailor. Where DO "historians" get this garbage?
--- End quote ---
I am getting the irresponsible urge to tell this to my history prof, just to see him express an emotion.
ETA: I will also tell the story exactly like this from now on.
Adios:
Why did the Japanese really attack Alaska?
The Good Reverend Roger:
--- Quote from: Luna on May 10, 2011, 06:10:58 pm ---What REALLY happened to the Titanic?
--- End quote ---
Torpedoed by a Uboat. Very sad. The Germans had this one officer that jumped the fucking gun every time. "Too Soon Karl", they called him, and not without good reason. He was told to attack on a particular date and time, but he figured he'd get the credit for the first kill, by starting two years early.
He was sternly reprimanded, and the whole thing was hushed-up and some cock & bull story about an iceberg was advanced, even though everyone knows that ice can't hurt steel. Take a hammer and beat on an ice cube, to prove it to yourself.
The Good Reverend Roger:
--- Quote from: Charley Brown on May 10, 2011, 06:22:06 pm ---Why did the Japanese really attack Alaska?
--- End quote ---
They didn't. They may have MEANT to, but they "pulled a Columbus" when they found the Aelutian Islands.
Adios:
--- Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 10, 2011, 06:27:38 pm ---
--- Quote from: Charley Brown on May 10, 2011, 06:22:06 pm ---Why did the Japanese really attack Alaska?
--- End quote ---
They didn't. They may have MEANT to, but they "pulled a Columbus" when they found the Aelutian Islands.
--- End quote ---
:spittake:
I do hereby solemnly confirm this as Great Truth™.
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