Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P

[Slyph]

Receptionist: "Hello, [hotel]. How can I help you?"

Caller: "I need to know if I'm still barred."

Receptionist: "I can check that for you. Can I take your name, please?"

Caller: *gives name*

Receptionist: "Okay, I'll just check for you. Out of interest, can I ask why you were barred?"

Caller: "Aye. I took a sh** in a pint glass."

Receptionist: "Yeah, I'd say you're still barred."

[Luna]

I tell ya, I MISS working at the comic book store.

You were almost EXPECTED to snark at the customers when they were stupid.

[Suu]

Receptionist: "Hello, [hotel]. How can I help you?"

Caller: "I need to know if I'm still barred."

Receptionist: "I can check that for you. Can I take your name, please?"

Caller: *gives name*

Receptionist: "Okay, I'll just check for you. Out of interest, can I ask why you were barred?"

Caller: "Aye. I took a sh** in a pint glass."

Receptionist: "Yeah, I'd say you're still barred."

That screams Scotland.

[Cain]

I know a club in Southampton which has that as an express penalty up on the wall behind the bar, with accompanying fine.

Along with several other offences.

[Slyph]

I know a club in Southampton which has that as an express penalty up on the wall behind the bar, with accompanying fine.

Along with several other offences.

Oh man... What other offences?

[Luna]

I know a club in Southampton which has that as an express penalty up on the wall behind the bar, with accompanying fine.

Along with several other offences.

Oh man... What other offences?

And what does it cost to dump in a pint glass?

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

I know a club in Southampton which has that as an express penalty up on the wall behind the bar, with accompanying fine.

Along with several other offences.

Ive never heard of this place, and it is in my hometown... exactly where is this place?

[Cain]

Its a notorious Soton Uni hangout.  I suspect people who aren't students, or terminally stupid (or, as is usually the case, both), have no need to even know of the place.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

http://notalwaysright.com/actually-fido-is-a-weapon-of-mass-destruction/16

Actually, Fido Is A Weapon of Mass Destruction
PET STORE | KENTUCKY

Dog Owner: "When my dog pees, he leaves brown patches all over the lawn. Is he peeing fire?"

[Wyldkat]

This thread is amazing!  Anything that can make me laugh like that today wins.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

You should hit up the NAR website. LULZ galore.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

http://notalwaysright.com/a-mothers-love-is-priceless-for-everything-else-theres-credit-cards/11640

A Mother's Love Is Priceless, For Everything Else There's Credit Cards
RETAIL | DAYTON, OH, USA
(A little girl walks up to me and my coworker. She is crying.)

Me: "Oh, honey. What's wrong?"

Girl: "I can't find my mom."

Me: "Well, I can page over the speaker for her. What's her name?"

(She gives me the name. My coworker gets a description of her mother as I page. When it's a lost child, all we say is 'We have something of yours' for safety reasons. This is to make sure the child does go with their actual parent.)

Girl: "I think she left."

Coworker: "No, she didn't. She's probably looking for you."

Girl: "She said she was going to leave me if I didn't keep up."

Me: "She didn't mean it. Don't worry, she'll be here."

(We get the girl to talk about her school and dog to keep her mind off how scared she is. It is the longest we have waited for a parent to come. Her mother finally gets there, and stops as soon as she sees her daughter.)

Mother: "Oh, you! I thought I lost my credit card. Well, come on already! You've slowed me down enough."

(The girl quietly walks over to her mother.)

Mother, to me: "Next time, just say it's my daughter so I know not to rush!"

[Wyldkat]

http://notalwaysright.com/a-mothers-love-is-priceless-for-everything-else-theres-credit-cards/11640

A Mother's Love Is Priceless, For Everything Else There's Credit Cards
RETAIL | DAYTON, OH, USA
(A little girl walks up to me and my coworker. She is crying.)

Me: "Oh, honey. What's wrong?"

Girl: "I can't find my mom."

Me: "Well, I can page over the speaker for her. What's her name?"

(She gives me the name. My coworker gets a description of her mother as I page. When it's a lost child, all we say is 'We have something of yours' for safety reasons. This is to make sure the child does go with their actual parent.)

Girl: "I think she left."

Coworker: "No, she didn't. She's probably looking for you."

Girl: "She said she was going to leave me if I didn't keep up."

Me: "She didn't mean it. Don't worry, she'll be here."

(We get the girl to talk about her school and dog to keep her mind off how scared she is. It is the longest we have waited for a parent to come. Her mother finally gets there, and stops as soon as she sees her daughter.)

Mother: "Oh, you! I thought I lost my credit card. Well, come on already! You've slowed me down enough."

(The girl quietly walks over to her mother.)

Mother, to me: "Next time, just say it's my daughter so I know not to rush!"

It's mothers like that that make me sort of wish people needed to take a test or get a license or something to have a kid.  I feel SO bad for that poor little girl.  My boys get out of sight for a second in a public place and I call for them.  They know to respond so we will all know everyone is safe.  It would be different if they were older (4 and 6 right now), but she sounds like about that age...

[Don Coyote]

http://notalwaysright.com/a-mothers-love-is-priceless-for-everything-else-theres-credit-cards/11640

A Mother's Love Is Priceless, For Everything Else There's Credit Cards
RETAIL | DAYTON, OH, USA
(A little girl walks up to me and my coworker. She is crying.)

Me: "Oh, honey. What's wrong?"

Girl: "I can't find my mom."

Me: "Well, I can page over the speaker for her. What's her name?"

(She gives me the name. My coworker gets a description of her mother as I page. When it's a lost child, all we say is 'We have something of yours' for safety reasons. This is to make sure the child does go with their actual parent.)

Girl: "I think she left."

Coworker: "No, she didn't. She's probably looking for you."

Girl: "She said she was going to leave me if I didn't keep up."

Me: "She didn't mean it. Don't worry, she'll be here."

(We get the girl to talk about her school and dog to keep her mind off how scared she is. It is the longest we have waited for a parent to come. Her mother finally gets there, and stops as soon as she sees her daughter.)

Mother: "Oh, you! I thought I lost my credit card. Well, come on already! You've slowed me down enough."

(The girl quietly walks over to her mother.)

Mother, to me: "Next time, just say it's my daughter so I know not to rush!"

It's mothers like that that make me sort of wish people needed to take a test or get a license or something to have a kid.  I feel SO bad for that poor little girl.  My boys get out of sight for a second in a public place and I call for them.  They know to respond so we will all know everyone is safe.  It would be different if they were older (4 and 6 right now), but she sounds like about that age...

And people like you make me wish we had a higher infant mortality rate.

[Slyph]

Harsh dude.