ITT: Luna's dealing with the shit in her head

[Suu]

The last thing you need to do is go to jail.

Because I pondered for months if it was worth it for Herbert...Oh, it would have been worth it, but not in the long run.

[Luna]

The best feeling in the world is going to be when it happens, and you realize that all you feel is a vague sense of pity.

What's going to feel good is when I stop getting ideas based on, "wouldn't he just HATE..."

Yep, that too!

Considered a fairly epic bad idea simply because I knew it would go up his ass sideways.

Decided that I was worth more than that.

Absolutely.

Have you considered keeping a divorce notebook? You can pour out all your hate and negativity and even the occasional nostalgia for the good times, and getting it out of your head and onto a page helps a LOT. Eventually you stop thinking about him, and when it's been a couple of weeks since you've felt a need to write in it, you can stick it in a box and never look at it again. Or ritually burn it in a bonfire on the beach, or something.

Hadn't thought of that, I may.

I'm planning on doing something for me at Vinland, since that Friday would be our 5th wedding anniversary.  I've got the ribbons from the ceremony, going to burn the fuckers... then go and get blitzed.

[Suu]

Yes, but is getting drunk and potentially making a scene worth it?

[Luna]

Yes, but is getting drunk and potentially making a scene worth it?

No scene, as long as he keeps the fuckmuppet WELL away from me.  My idea of blitzed is a lot more low-key than some.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

It seems wise to stay away from anywhere they are for a while, especially if alcohol is involved.

[Luna]

It seems wise to stay away from anywhere they are for a while, especially if alcohol is involved.

I refuse to step away from the SCA because they will be there.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

It seems wise to stay away from anywhere they are for a while, especially if alcohol is involved.

I refuse to step away from the SCA because they will be there.

Sometimes, distance helps, and the more mature person gets to establish that distance. After my breakup with Space Cowboy I walked away from my beloved gallery for a few months.

[Luna]

It seems wise to stay away from anywhere they are for a while, especially if alcohol is involved.

I refuse to step away from the SCA because they will be there.

Sometimes, distance helps, and the more mature person gets to establish that distance. After my breakup with Space Cowboy I walked away from my beloved gallery for a few months.

I understand, I do...  But the SCA has been part of my life for a hell of a lot longer than he has. 

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

I honestly understand what you are going thru.  

It's harder than people realize to recover (and yes, this is something you have to recover from) from this when you see them on a regular basis.  Add in that you have mutual friends and the same extracurricular activities and it becomes even more difficult.  Especially if those friends are remaining "neutral" but I won't get into that because my opinion on that is somewhat errrrr... nevermind.  Most of the time people are allowed to avoid their soon to be exes from the point of seperation on.

Be that as it may, a little advice from experience.  

Don't drink when you are around them, AT ALL.  Because even the slightest comment will end up being referred to as a drunken rant when it's all said and done.  Even if all you had was half a beer/wine/mixed drink.  

Make new or stick with the friends who are your friends and yours alone.  Yes a pain in the ass, but you need people who are 100% on your side whenever you have to be around this asshole.  You wil be surprised how quickly "neutral" friends suddenly bail when push comes to shove.

Be nice.  This is the most difficult and the one which will in the end be the truest test of your own inner strength, but trust me, it will, in the long run, be the one thing that will allow you to hold your head high and walk away as the only one who kept their dignity.  Now I'm not saying be all gushy mushy, I'm just saying be polite.  If you can't be polite, walk away. If you can't walk away be quiet until you can.

This sucks, and there is nothing to speed up time for you.  It will get better.  I promise.

[Dysnomia]

Nigel's idea of a notebook is spot on.  I have one of those too and it's there for me when I just need it.  The most rewarding thing about it too, is years from now when you're settled in with your hot new thing you can look at it and see how far you've come even though it may not seem like much of a journey in the moment.  But the feeling that comes over you when you realize that you actually were able to beat that shit in your head is so rewarding and empowering because if you can do that you can do motherfucking anything.




Lizzay,
cant even be in the same room with OF's (aka Herpes, and drama llame) good friends without anxiety.  Well...except the one that's now my good friend and hates his guts.  I lurve him and am making him a cheesecake!

[Suu]

Two years ago; I hated myself.

Last year; I hated everyone.

This year, I learned that life is too goddamn short for me to give a fuck anymore. Especially when my ex-husband pushed my down the street on top of my drafting table in the rain while we screamed like idiots. Will I ever completely forgive him for waiting 7 years of my life? Probably not, but joint assholicism like that is priceless.

[Luna]

I know it's going to take time...  When I don't see them, I do a lot better.  I can even manage seeing him without losing my shit, most of the time.  (Mostly, we have to avoid the obvious topics that are going to piss me off.)

I'll think about a notebook...  Still not great about ranting on paper or keyboard, but...  Good practice, anyway.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Just a thought; I know you're attached to the SCA. Nobody's saying you should give that up long-term. And, there is a point of pride in not letting him take your territory. At the same time, one of the best things you can do for yourself in a breakup/divorce is find new territory and make new friends, and do shit that is completely new with no associations with your ex or your relationship together.

[Suu]

AKA, Richter and I don't count. We're in the same territory.

[Luna]

Just a thought; I know you're attached to the SCA. Nobody's saying you should give that up long-term. And, there is a point of pride in not letting him take your territory. At the same time, one of the best things you can do for yourself in a breakup/divorce is find new territory and make new friends, and do shit that is completely new with no associations with your ex or your relationship together.

Well, there's you spags.