Keeping a kid's gender secret...

[AFK]

Hrmmm, I got a slightly different view from what the parents were saying. It didn't seem to me that they were saying "Child should be genderless" but rather:

We thought that if we delayed sharing that information, in this case hopefully, we might knock off a couple million of those messages by the time that Storm decides Storm would like to share"

Jazz doesn't mind. One of his favourite books is 10,000 Dresses, the story of a boy who loves to dress up. But he doesn't like being called a girl. Recently, he asked his mom to write a note on his application to the High Park Nature Centre because he likes the group leaders and wants them to know he's a boy.

I mean to me it seems that they aren't enforcing gender stereotypes... ie, if you want to have long hair and wear a dress, go for it. The 5 year old seems to get that he's a boy and is comfortable with his gender... he's just also comfortable with wearing what he likes and doing what he likes.

Sorry but I think that's bullshit.  Kids that age aren't barraged with gender-stereotype messages without the parent's knowledge.  That is, unless they are dropping off their toddlers at the Mall for hours on end or letting the TV babysit them.  No, if a parent is doing what a normal parent does, messages are being filtered by the parent.  Your little child sees all the girls playing with dolls but says she doesn't want to play with dolls, that's when you explain to her that she can play with whatever she wants to play with.  Just because those girls are playing with dolls doesn't mean ALL girls have to play with dolls.  I didn't have to put my daughter through some stupid sociological experiment to get that point across when she asked those questions.  

Again, I think they are basically saying that their kids aren't going to be smart enough or strong enough on their own to navigate gender and to decide what it means for them.  So they need to help them by keeping them in the dark for awhile.  Like gender is some kind of behavioral health disorder and they need to stage an early intervention.  You raise self-assured kids with good heads on their shoulders you don't need to put them through stupid experiments that are likely going to scar them for life.  Or at least for most of their childhood.  

[P3nT4gR4m]

Just when you think you've seen it all someone goes and invents a whole new kind if retarded. We live in a brave new world where we'll probably never run out of dumb shit to laugh at

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

You don't even have to explain anything about dolls. You just get your kid the toys they prefer to play with, and let it go from there. These parents are deliberately introducing gender concepts to children young and isolated enough that they would otherwise not know or care.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

Hrmmm, I got a slightly different view from what the parents were saying. It didn't seem to me that they were saying "Child should be genderless" but rather:

We thought that if we delayed sharing that information, in this case hopefully, we might knock off a couple million of those messages by the time that Storm decides Storm would like to share"

Jazz doesn't mind. One of his favourite books is 10,000 Dresses, the story of a boy who loves to dress up. But he doesn't like being called a girl. Recently, he asked his mom to write a note on his application to the High Park Nature Centre because he likes the group leaders and wants them to know he's a boy.

I mean to me it seems that they aren't enforcing gender stereotypes... ie, if you want to have long hair and wear a dress, go for it. The 5 year old seems to get that he's a boy and is comfortable with his gender... he's just also comfortable with wearing what he likes and doing what he likes.

Sorry but I think that's bullshit.  Kids that age aren't barraged with gender-stereotype messages without the parent's knowledge.  That is, unless they are dropping off their toddlers at the Mall for hours on end or letting the TV babysit them.  No, if a parent is doing what a normal parent does, messages are being filtered by the parent.  Your little child sees all the girls playing with dolls but says she doesn't want to play with dolls, that's when you explain to her that she can play with whatever she wants to play with.  Just because those girls are playing with dolls doesn't mean ALL girls have to play with dolls.  I didn't have to put my daughter through some stupid sociological experiment to get that point across when she asked those questions.  

Again, I think they are basically saying that their kids aren't going to be smart enough or strong enough on their own to navigate gender and to decide what it means for them.  So they need to help them by keeping them in the dark for awhile.  Like gender is some kind of behavioral health disorder and they need to stage an early intervention.  You raise self-assured kids with good heads on their shoulders you don't need to put them through stupid experiments that are likely going to scar them for life.  Or at least for most of their childhood.  

Valid points, RWHN.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

These people are setting their children up to be ridiculed for most of their lives.  

I am more than willing to bet these kids will run as fast as they can when they graduate, change their names and never look back.

That's what I would do  

[AFK]

I will grant the parents that their hearts are probably in the right place.

Their minds, however, are clearly somewhere in the Kuiper belt. 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Hrmmm, I got a slightly different view from what the parents were saying. It didn't seem to me that they were saying "Child should be genderless" but rather:

We thought that if we delayed sharing that information, in this case hopefully, we might knock off a couple million of those messages by the time that Storm decides Storm would like to share"

Jazz doesn't mind. One of his favourite books is 10,000 Dresses, the story of a boy who loves to dress up. But he doesn't like being called a girl. Recently, he asked his mom to write a note on his application to the High Park Nature Centre because he likes the group leaders and wants them to know he's a boy.

I mean to me it seems that they aren't enforcing gender stereotypes... ie, if you want to have long hair and wear a dress, go for it. The 5 year old seems to get that he's a boy and is comfortable with his gender... he's just also comfortable with wearing what he likes and doing what he likes.

You don't think it really odd that he wants his parents to write a note saying he is a boy?

Well, the way I read that was that based on his choice of clothes etc he looks like a girl, but since he likes these people, he wants them to know he's a boy. Maybe he tried to say "I'm a boy" and the people just thought he was confused. I dunno, without the full story,  its hard to say.

Most likely, he gets a lot of approval from his parents for not following traditional gender roles, so as much as he would like to be recognized as a boy, parental approval outweighs that.

These parents are totally sick fucks who have no idea how the brains of developing children work. They aren't tiny housemates; their very biological development is dependent on parental approval. The parents are setting up a conflict in which the child must defy social gender roles to win their approval.

[Kai]

I will keep my mouth shut. I will keep my mouth shut. I will keep...

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

When I first heard about this I thought "WHy the fuck would anyone else care what someone else does with their kid if they aren't beating it?"... which is my basic 'MYOFB' philosophy.

Then it later occurred to me... how did the news outlets even discover this story? 

Then it began to leave a bad taste in my mouth.



Oh, and I didn't read the link in the OP, since I had read others... did this one mention the parent's philosophy of "unteaching"?

Yeah... this isn't news. And it's been done before... I specifically remember hippies of my mom's generation being on this gender-ambiguity thing (which is a little different, because these parents are teaching their kids about gender roles and actively encouraging them to defy them).

[LMNO]

I will keep my mouth shut. I will keep my mouth shut. I will keep...

HEY THERE KAI!  WOULD YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE AN OPINION ON THIS?

[Adios]

I will keep my mouth shut. I will keep my mouth shut. I will keep...

Why?

[hooplala]

I will grant the parents that their hearts are probably in the right place.

Their minds, however, are clearly somewhere in the Kuiper belt. 

I would believe the parents' hearts were in the right place if I heard about this from a friend... the fact that it is in city newspapers worries me.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I will keep my mouth shut. I will keep my mouth shut. I will keep...

Being opposed to this kind of twisted parental manipulation is not the same as being opposed to allowing your child to be gender ambiguous or supporting your child in gender role exploration.

[AFK]

I will grant the parents that their hearts are probably in the right place.

Their minds, however, are clearly somewhere in the Kuiper belt. 

I would believe the parents' hearts were in the right place if I heard about this from a friend... the fact that it is in city newspapers worries me.

Good point. 

[Adios]

I will keep my mouth shut. I will keep my mouth shut. I will keep...

Being opposed to this kind of twisted parental manipulation is not the same as being opposed to allowing your child to be gender ambiguous or supporting your child in gender role exploration.

This.