YOU GUISE

[Eater of Clowns]

I, for one, am extremely disappointed this franchise is coming to an end.

Not because it's good, but because it means Michael Bay is going to work on other projects again, each one more painful than the last.

[Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ]

At least Michael Bay inspired PEARL HARBOR SUCKS, AND I MISS YOU the most beautiful love song ever recorded!!!

[AFK]

I categorically refuse to watch any of these movies.  These Transformers are not the Transformers I came to know and love as a child of the 80s.  And how can you beat the original animated Transformers movie that features Orson Welles?

Answer:  You can't.   

[Cainad (dec.)]

I mean granted, I'd still love to see Bay punched in the ballbag for this franchise, but I can still appreciate it as an action movie if I distract myself during the human scenes.

So the strategy is to show up with a Gameboy/Nintendo DS and play Megaman during the meatsack segments of the movie?

[AFK]

I mean granted, I'd still love to see Bay punched in the ballbag for this franchise, but I can still appreciate it as an action movie if I distract myself during the human scenes.

So the strategy is to show up with a Gameboy/Nintendo DS and play Megaman during the meatsack segments of the movie?

Or your wife/girlfriend and shag in the corner. 

[Laughin Jude]

If the Transformers movies were actually good action movies, that would be one thing, but the problem I had with them was that it was impossible to tell what the hell was happening during the action scenes. It was just five seconds of grey blurs and metallic sound effects from one angle, then another angle, then an explosion, then more of something happening so fast that I couldn't tell what the hell was going on, then another camera angle, and so on. It's impossible to get into the Transformers movies because my nervous system just can't process the mass of undifferentiated, contextless images being thrown at it that, though I'm sure they're supposed to be somehow connected, come across as so much paint thrown at the canvas and allowed to drip down to the floor (with EXPLOSIONS). Any time the action starts in the Transformers movies, the cinematography immediately confuses me (Who the hell are all these same-y looking grey blobs? Wait, is that the same blob or a different one?) and reminds me that I'm watching a movie, which is the last thing cinematography should ever do.

I will agree that the first one was at least watchable, even if the action scenes were complete crap. It had some funny parts. But the second one... yipes. Like I said, I've never made it through to the end--I assume it ends with Optimus coming back to life, but to be honest I don't fucking care because the story makes no goddamn sense long before Optimus dies. There's a scene earlier in the movie where what's his nuts and Optimus meet up. What's his nuts knows he has the piece of the cube thing and it's a problem waiting to happen. If memory serves, I think this might even be after the Decepticons start coming after him, but even if it's not, the stupid cube thing already made his parents' appliances destroy their house, so he knows it's bad mojo. Optimus, the person most equipped to handle the situation and keep the MacGuffin safe, is right there. And what's his nuts doesn't say a damn thing about any of it to him. Why? Because it would be inconvenient for the plot. It's just this wildly fucked up bit of writing that's on par with some of the shit pulled in the Star Wars prequels... maybe worse. It's like Frodo walking past Mt. Doom at the end of The Fellowship of the Ring and saying, "Meh, I'll do it later." Or no, it's worse than that--it's like Frodo walking past Mt. Doom in FotR and then not even addressing the fact at all and just leaving the reader to wonder what the fuck is going on.

(Looking back at it, the above paragraph should probably be read in the Plinkett voice for maximum effect.)

[Freeky]

You know what Michael Bay is good for?

Basing boss encounters around him. 

BOOM! Take 3d6 fire damage AND GET SET ON FIRE!~

[Cuddlefish]

Please do NOT get me started. The HATRED is unbearable.

[Cuddlefish]

Like, why did you even post this?!? Are you just TRYING to get me all pissed off?!

[Freeky]

If I had to know, YOU had to know.

[Cuddlefish]

If I had to know, YOU had to know.

This just flares up the nerd-raeg to full capacity. Sry.

You see, I used to have a hobby...

[Don Coyote]

IT MEANS MOAR TRANSFORMERS!!!!!!!

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

IT MEANS MOAR TRANSFORMERS!!!!!!!

Like 'The Twins' and those girl transformers that were mopeds.

[Don Coyote]

IT MEANS MOAR TRANSFORMERS!!!!!!!

Like 'The Twins' and those girl transformers that were mopeds.

Exactly. Best transformers ever.

[Cain]

Does this mean Michael Bay has found someone younger and more attractive than Megan Fox to "wash his car" as part of the audition process?