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Thinking about Gabbard in general, my animal instinct is to flatten my ears against my head, roll my eyes up till the whites show, bare my teeth, and trill like a cicada stuck in a Commodore 64.

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Dear Sooz

Started by Mesozoic Mister Nigel, June 03, 2011, 05:19:47 AM

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Mesozoic Mister Nigel

June 03, 2011, 05:19:47 AM

Remember when we first met? Oh, man. I was a young thing in my second of a string of unhappy marriages and you... you were a Force to be Reckoned With. I think in your very early 40's, close to the age I am now. What we had in common was a love of beads, me for making them and you for making amazing works of art with them. I met you on rec.crafts.beads, back in the heyday... it was so busy back then! I stuck my head in, and you were the first to welcome me. You were almost ALWAYS the first to welcome anyone... it was what you did. And good goddamn if you weren't both a royal bitch who would lay it on the line, HARD, and also the sweetest pussycat anyone ever had the pleasure to talk to! You did not mince words, not in the least, and you would slice through bullshit with a tongue and a wit that was sharp as knives.

There were a lot of us back then, and most of us are still here. Not on the newsgroup, which gradually dissipated in a mist of trolls and spam, as newsgroups did a few years back, but here on the planet, alive, still making and playing with the beads you loved so much.

You were such a driving force on the group... remember ESBC? Evil Sooz's Bead Cronies... that was us! Or maybe it stood for Evil Sooz's Bitch Cabal, I can't remember. It could be either one, really, because we tolerated no shit. We laughed so much together, all of us, and even though we fought among ourselves, and even though you would spare no quarter when schooling a regular who rubbed you the wrong way, GOD HELP THE FOOL who dared step to any one of us. Many times it happened that someone new would come to the group and try to pull a better-than-you routine on someone they perceived to be weaker or more vulnerable than the others, and you would waste no time in verbally knocking that sucker OUT OF THE RING. People hated you! But oh, lovely Sooz, so many more of us loved you.

Your love was so evident; you never held back. If you cared about someone there was never a moment of fear, never a moment of hesitation in letting them know. You weren't afraid of looking soft or being rejected, you just gave openly of your love, and you were happy to sing it to the world. Your dog! So much devoted tenderness to sweet Mercury. I remember walking him that time. Oh Mercury. Just around the block, baby, it's OK if that's all we can do today.

And the love of your life, your Kevin. I can't think too much about what Kevin must be feeling right now, or I won't be able to write any more. Remember that time, sweetheart, that you were in a panic, in tears thinking his life might not be as long as yours? Oh love, oh love.

Remember your birthday banquet? Your family is so beautiful, Sooz, and so loving. Like you. They treated me like family, and Kevin's family did too. I gave you a bead with white flowers and you said I was as good as Kim Miles. You meant it, too! You have never been one for flattery. You encouraged me so much, you pushed me so hard... you made me believe I could make a living doing what I loved. And I did. Thank you so much, dear heart. What a gift you gave me, and my children!

I will never forget the squeal of delight, later, when I gave you your other gift, a puffy heart that said "BITCH" on it.

Remember how I came and slept in your guest room for 18 hours, exhausted from my impossible schedule? When I woke up you scrounged me some midafternoon breakfast, and then we went to the store and bought gourmet marshmallows. I can't remember now... did we make s'mores over the stove? No, I think we used the microwave, and we ate them ALL! You couldn't drink because of the pain medication that kept you mobile and functional despite your chronic back injury from being hit by a truck (how you pulled off being such a sweetheart, so wicked quick, and so creative under those circumstances, I will always marvel at!) but I drank some wine. I might even have had the whole bottle. And we laughed, and laughed, and laughed!

Remember how you used to write bead descriptions for me? I swear that your touch was pure magic; anything you wrote a description for sold just like THAT. Some of your descriptions were poetic, some were edgy, and some were just plain out there. I loved every one of them, and my customers did too. Naughty Chi-Chi!

I still can't believe you sorted out all those spilled beads. You have the patience of a saint. I always wanted to be like you when I grew up. Is it time to grow up yet? Already?

For the last three years since my divorce, I have meant to come visit you. I meant to, and I never had the money for it. I passed through the Bay area last august, and I wanted to stop in but I didn't have time. Damn money. Damn time. I didn't know, love, I didn't know.

Darling Sooz, someday we will run away to Mexico like we always planned, and it will be you and me, Chi-Chi and Lola, sipping margaritas on the beach in Cozumel.

I will love you always,

-Your wicked bead-slinging Jezebel,

Or kill me


In memory of my beloved friend Susan Yasinitsky Hara, who succumbed to complications from brain cancer on Tuesday, May 31, 2011. She was a beautiful person and a light in my life.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Precious Moments Zalgo

#1
June 03, 2011, 05:25:44 AM
I'm sorry you lost your friend, Nigel.  Death sucks.
I will answer ANY prayer for $39.95.*

*Unfortunately, I cannot give refunds in the event that the answer is no.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#2
June 03, 2011, 05:36:37 AM
This looks exactly like her (I'm unfamiliar with this painting so I'm not sure if she was actually the model for it, but she was a model):



She made this bracelet for me:

"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#3
June 03, 2011, 06:04:37 AM
Thank you to my freak friend who emailed me this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tInDH2FeXaM
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

#4
June 03, 2011, 07:50:30 AM
Sorry for your loss, Tiki. From what you say, I think the world will be poorer for her passing.
Weevil-Infested Badfun Wrongsex Referee From The 9th Earth
Slick and Deranged Wombat of Manhood Questioning
Hulking Dormouse of Lust and DESPAIR™
Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS

"The only way we can ever change anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy." - Akala  'Find No Enemy'.

Hoser McRhizzy

#5
June 03, 2011, 08:07:01 AM
Raising my wrist to your brilliant friend and mentor.

That was a wonderful eulogy / letter.
It feels unreal because it's trickling up.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#6
June 03, 2011, 02:03:31 PM
Soozala was pretty much the TGRR of the  bead world. Sounds crazy, maybe, but FUCK they would have loved each other! She had many obsessive stalkers, and every noob had to challenge her. She was a brilliant writer and her alter egos wrote a BUNCH of fucked-up shit, mostly socially scathing insane sci-fi porn.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#7
June 03, 2011, 02:04:22 PM
I was gonna be her when I grew up, but I'm not sure I'm ready to grow up yet.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Luna

#8
June 03, 2011, 02:05:21 PM
Beautiful, Nigel, sounds like a hell of a lady.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#9
June 03, 2011, 02:10:54 PM
She was amazing. You should see the shit she used to do with beads; pure magic. And she wrote some crazy shit. Wish she & TGRR could have known each other.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#10
June 03, 2011, 03:16:39 PM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 03, 2011, 02:10:54 PM
She was amazing. You should see the shit she used to do with beads; pure magic. And she wrote some crazy shit. Wish she & TGRR could have known each other.

So do I, now.

That was amazing, Nigel.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Eater of Clowns

#11
June 03, 2011, 03:35:52 PM
This is beautiful, Nigel, thanks for bringing it here and I'm sorry you lost your friend.
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#12
June 03, 2011, 03:46:55 PM
Thank you, loves.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#13
June 03, 2011, 03:58:56 PM
This is my love:


There on the right is her Mercury, who she loved so much... there is a story to tell there, which I will not tell right now:

Oh, beautiful California lady!

The last time I saw you, beautiful lady!

I swear I won't let you down. I swear it.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#14
June 03, 2011, 04:06:57 PM
How can I ever live up to my Sooz?
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

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