GOD FUCKING HOLY HELL,
my dog just farted something awful. 
And this is why we Love Her Majesty, the Dark Empress of the North.
Also, because if we don't love her, we get our ears nailed to the wall.
If she's in a good mood, that is.
Goes without saying. Last time she was in a MODERATELY CROSS mood, she accidentally and then Pompeii and Herculaneum and then up the with Pliny the Elder and the pyroclastic cloud.
And it goes without saying that when she's feeling somewhat prankish, things like the Battle of Cannae happen.
Oh, yeah, or "Hey, Tojo...If you hit them when they're not looking, they'll fold up like an accordion."
She never liked him. He had little piggy eyes, like people from North Carolina.