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Barry S Goldberg explains everything there is to know about anything.

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, June 06, 2011, 08:13:32 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

June 06, 2011, 08:13:32 PM
CHORUS:
It's a great big, beautiful, wonderful, incredible, super-spectacular day
And your heart is humming with good times coming
And you got that happy feeling things are going your way
All the bells are ringing and a little bird's singing while he sits on your windowsill
Singing yessiree, I can surely see, it will plainly be, most definitely
A super-spectacular day! Untilllllllll...

Your sister pours glue in her hair and blames you
And your neighbor says that you're abusing her cat
And you just left the john with the water turned on
And the house gets all wet and your mother's upset
And you'd die if you knew what your dad's gonna do
And your python gets loose and you know it's no use
And you cry there in fear and it's now very clear...
That it's not such a super-spectacular day!

CHORUS

You go out for a spin and your sunroof caves in
And the steering wheel shakes so you slam on the brakes
And the gears get all stuck as you sideswipe a truck
And you run out of gas while you're trying to pass
And you're stalled on the tracks and you try to relax
But the train's coming through and it's heading for you
And you have a quick flash as you brace for the crash....
That it's not such a super-spectacular day!

CHORUS

'Round quarter to five your relations arrive
And you greet cousin Beth with terrible breath
And a fat British guy who destroys your hi-fi
And your great uncle Fred who gets drunk in your bed
And your third cousin Dick who is metally sick
And his creepy friend Joe and six more you don't know
And you're sure there and then as you're shafted again...
That it's not such a super-spectacular day!

CHORUS

You're called down in class and you feel like an ass
'Cuz you don't have a clue and you know that it's due
To those classes you skipped and you're fly is unzipped
And your acne has spread to the back of your head
And some jerk spreads the word that you're some kind of nerd
And you fight to hold and punch for a wall [?]
And there isn't a doubt as they're flunking you out...
That it's not such a super-spectacular day!

CHORUS

'Round seven at night you go out for a bite
The streets are aglow from a large UFO
A creature comes out with two heads and a snout
It talks like a frog and throws up on your dog
It thinks you are great and wants you for its mate
You're sealed in a case and go flying in space
And you silently say as the Earth fades away...
That it's not such a super-spectacular day!

CHORUS

A quarter past eight you pick up your blind date
And you really go ape for her fabulous shape
Of the girls that you've met she's the classiest yet
And she's pretty and bright and it's love at first sight
And it's really a shame she's not feeling the same
'Cuz she thinks you're a shmuck and she says "lots of luck"
And you sob in despair as she gives you the air...
That it's not such a super-spectacular day!

CHORUS

You develop a twitch and a horrible itch
And you're covered with spots and you're getting the trots
And you're feet start to swell and it's easy to tell
From this hideous wheeze that some awful disease
So you call an M.D. and he says "don't ask me"
If it gets any worse you can speak to my nurse
And you manage to say as you wither away...
That it's not such a super-spectacular day!

CHORUS

You walk out the door of a dry cleaning store
And you're grabbed by surprise by three mafia guys
Who mistakenly think that you're Hymie the Fink
They break your right arm and do bodily harm
And you're writhing in pain and you try to explain
That your name is Jerome and you're on your way home
And you let out a sigh as you're left there to die...
That it's not such a super-spectacular day!

CHORUS

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Cuddlefish

#1
June 06, 2011, 08:37:42 PM
 :horrormirth: :mittens:  :horrormirth:
A fisher of men, or a manner of fish?

Luna

#2
June 06, 2011, 09:59:38 PM
Damn.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

MMIX

#3
June 07, 2011, 12:27:17 AM
Mad props!
"The ultimate hidden truth of the world is that it is something we make and could just as easily make differently" David Graeber

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#4
June 07, 2011, 09:13:16 PM
AND THAT'S AMORE!  :lulz:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#5
June 08, 2011, 02:27:30 AM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 07, 2011, 09:13:16 PM
AND THAT'S AMORE!  :lulz:

No, this is amore!

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Freeky

#6
June 08, 2011, 02:32:52 AM
That's amore all right.

And this is my BOOT up your ASS! :argh!:


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