Author Topic: Quotes of the Moment II  (Read 91545 times)

Cain

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Re: Quotes of the Moment II
« Reply #540 on: February 17, 2012, 07:42:31 am »
Foreign terrorism, no less.

It's not like the good old days under Clinton, when you could rely on Americans to step up to the challenge of conducting terrorism.  Under Chairman B. HUSSEIN Obama, it's all foreign and government sponsored and shit.

Cain

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Re: Quotes of the Moment II
« Reply #541 on: February 23, 2012, 01:44:38 pm »
I realize the truth of what my friend, Doctor Ishmael once told me before he became a psychology professor: “You spend so much time in the alleys looking for the maniac who is going to kill you. And then one day, you realize you ARE the maniac in the alley.” Since he once chased a hippie with a machete for getting too close to his art studio shack, you know he’s a quality person—or at least you know his heart is in the right place.

Juana Go?

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Re: Quotes of the Moment II
« Reply #542 on: February 23, 2012, 04:28:29 pm »
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: Nice.
“Call me sentimental, but there’s no-one in the world that I’d like to see get dysentery more than you.” — David Nicholls (One Day)

Juana Go?

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Re: Quotes of the Moment II
« Reply #543 on: March 11, 2012, 10:35:03 pm »
I was telling my mother about why our downtown is as terrible as it is, and had to explain the Nazi who is the reason why.

Garbo: And he [Karl Falk] wrote a long screed about the evils of American journalism and how it was filled with Jews.
Garbo!Mom: The poor Jews.
Garbo: They're kind of the world's scapegoat.
Garbo!Mom: They should not have rejected their Messiah.
Garbo:
Garbo!Mom: I'm sure they still go to heaven, though.
« Last Edit: March 11, 2012, 11:26:52 pm by Secret Agent GARBO »
“Call me sentimental, but there’s no-one in the world that I’d like to see get dysentery more than you.” — David Nicholls (One Day)

Doktor Howl

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Re: Quotes of the Moment II
« Reply #544 on: March 12, 2012, 03:34:25 pm »
Wow.   :lulz:

Juana Go?

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Re: Quotes of the Moment II
« Reply #545 on: March 12, 2012, 04:48:23 pm »
You don't even know. Conversations turn into shit like this a couple times a month.
“Call me sentimental, but there’s no-one in the world that I’d like to see get dysentery more than you.” — David Nicholls (One Day)

Salty

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Re: Quotes of the Moment II
« Reply #546 on: March 12, 2012, 06:45:13 pm »

I explained my larding adventure to my now not-so-current man-flingy-thingy that ended after I explained my larding adventure.

"Surely," I say, "We must do this to John. We HAVE to."

"Uh heh heh, I just don't want to be confused for a hipster."

 :tyra:
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Quotes of the Moment II
« Reply #547 on: March 12, 2012, 11:20:51 pm »

I explained my larding adventure to my now not-so-current man-flingy-thingy that ended after I explained my larding adventure.

"Surely," I say, "We must do this to John. We HAVE to."

"Uh heh heh, I just don't want to be confused for a hipster."

 :tyra:

:crankey:
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


SuuCal

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Re: Quotes of the Moment II
« Reply #548 on: March 15, 2012, 01:02:34 am »
Gramma: Why aren't you eating my lasagna?

Me: It has ground beef in it. I don't eat beef anymore.

Gramma: What? You're a vegetarian? What the fuck is wrong with you!?

Me: No! I just can't digest it, it makes me sick.

Gramma: Since when has my food ever made you sick?

Me: It doesn't, it's the meat.

Gramma: Does your father know you're a vegetarian? He'll kill you.

Me: I'm NOT a vegetarian, Gramma. I can't eat beef! It makes me sick!

Gramma: I can't believe you come all this way to Long Island and you don't want to eat my cooking...

Me: That's not it!

Cousin: Holy fuck...Grams, she can't eat beef, she has an intolerance. It will make her sick.

Aunt: Angela, why aren't you eating meat? Is it because you've gotten into Communism?

Me in unison with another cousin: WHAT THE FUCK?!

Gramma: You drive all the way out from Brooklyn with your cousin from dinner and didn't bother to call me ONCE to tell me that you aren't eating meat anymore. If your grandfather were alive, he'd shove it down your throat!

Me: Holy. Shit. I will eat the fucking lasagna!

 Lesson to be learned: Food intolerance and allergies are never worth arguing over with old Italian women. Ever.

...The drive back to Brooklyn on the Southern State was pretty amusing as my intestines protested. :(


Monday:

*walking in downtown Manhattan out of sheer boredom*

Me: What a freaking shitshow.

Construction worker: No fucking shit, eh?

Me: You must love your job.

Worker: Yes, I get to sit here for four fucking hours at a time with nothing but a bottle of water to beat the shit outta foreign tourists who try to climb the fence to look at holes in the ground. It ain't even done yet!

Me: Terrorism is Tourism, my friend.

Worker: Hey, I like that!

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SuuCal

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Re: Quotes of the Moment II
« Reply #549 on: March 15, 2012, 01:20:25 am »
Richter on the phone: Anyways, I have to go now before the hipsters run me out. Yes I'm talking about you, you pink shirt motherfucker I ate your mom.....I have to go. *click*
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Quotes of the Moment II
« Reply #550 on: March 19, 2012, 03:30:24 am »
MO: Your dog is stupid.
EFO: No she's not.
MO: Yes she is.
EFO: Okay fine. [boy's dog], you're blind.
MO: You can't make fun of a cripple!
EFO: You can't make fun of a retard!
« Last Edit: March 19, 2012, 03:37:45 am by Nigel »
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Quotes of the Moment II
« Reply #551 on: March 19, 2012, 03:31:01 am »
Richter on the phone: Anyways, I have to go now before the hipsters run me out. Yes I'm talking about you, you pink shirt motherfucker I ate your mom.....I have to go. *click*

 :lulz:
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


Cainad (dec.)

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Re: Quotes of the Moment II
« Reply #552 on: March 23, 2012, 04:25:33 am »
Richter on the phone: Anyways, I have to go now before the hipsters run me out. Yes I'm talking about you, you pink shirt motherfucker I ate your mom.....I have to go. *click*

 :lulz: :lulz: :mittens:

Salty

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Re: Quotes of the Moment II
« Reply #553 on: March 23, 2012, 06:43:16 am »
After explaining my most recent life-goals:

"Alty, I am going to say this because I know nobody else in your life is going to: I'm sorry for all of the things that have happened to you in your life, all of the experiences with people that you've have that have brought you to this point in your life. I'm sorry."
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Quotes of the Moment II
« Reply #554 on: March 23, 2012, 05:36:22 pm »
After explaining my most recent life-goals:

"Alty, I am going to say this because I know nobody else in your life is going to: I'm sorry for all of the things that have happened to you in your life, all of the experiences with people that you've have that have brought you to this point in your life. I'm sorry."

What the fuck?  :lol:
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”