I used to do xxxxx so now I'm an authority on it...

[trix]

i lack the requisite personality or nuts.

the creative writing comment was a compliment, you should get over your butthurt a little quicker buddy.  I did try to make it clear that I am offensive and insulting on purpose and for no good reason.

perhaps if you stick around, i could learn from you.  but i'm guessing, based on what i've seen so far, that i'll have to be a quick study.

Oh buuuuuurnnnn.

Don't you worry, my eloquent friend. I'm fairly certain I'll be around for a long time.

[Elder Iptuous]

you clearly said that you only get along with people that aren't nice to you.
i just want to be your friend.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

You know, for just a split second I got my hopes up, only to have them dashed cruelly. Once again, they come out of the woodwork to gnash and fap over Roger.

Why is it never me?  

they?  I assume by they you are referring in a general sense to a certain group or type of people.  Which is no less asinine then the type of thought process my rant was about.  I represent nobody but myself, you ignorant fuckwad.  I am a singular individual, not a representative of whatever group or type you arbitrarily decided to string me with, based on a single rant in a section specifically for rants.  I did not "come out of the woodwork to gnash and fap" over anyone.  I decided that since I am new I should post some content and get something off of my chest at the same time.  If your reading comprehension was above that of a child, you might have understood the part where I specifically mentioned (multiple times) that my rant was at a thought process in general, and I was only pointing out a specific post as an example.

So there, your attention whoring was successful, and I have granted your wish.  Are you happy now, dickhead?

EDIT:
I should probably mention that I made this post under the assumption that trolling is allowed here, based on much of the posts I've read elsewhere on the forums.  I personally don't get riled up or offended from the internet (because, it's the internet), and if you do, well, be sure to make a long reply crying about it.  For entertainment purposes.

- trix

I was talking about this:

Warning, this rant is simply vocal masturbation. Also an attack on a forum member who is probably a moderator or admin or respected member or something.  Probably a ballsy move for a brand new member making his first topic and non-intro post I suppose.  Luckily for me, my balls hang to the floor, and more importantly, I don't give a shit.

To preface, once thing I often see from people who think they are smart (which, to be fair, everyone seems to secretly believe they are intelligent, regardless of evidence), is they often assume that because they have experience with something, their personal experience is not only typical of everyone, but makes them the authority on anyone who fits that mold, and forget that a person can only speak for themselves.

My case study in this rant, is a guy (I think his name was The Reverent Something or something, but that could be a mistake, don't care enough to go find the post in question) who made a claim I often hear from people, in a post somewhere, possibly a very old one, about pot heads.

Every time a noob shows up with a chip on their shoulder and the determination to take someone down a peg or two, it's about Roger. EVERY SINGLE TIME.

It's starting to give the rest of us a complex, frankly.

As for trolling, there's a huge difference between trolling and hurling insults, but you won't get banned for being an asshole. It's really hard to get banned here, actually. There are three, maybe four rules. However, given some time and attention you'll notice that most of us are pretty nice people, and that we are mostly nice to each other, and that if you are not reasonably pleasant to us we won't like you, and then you might feel left out or shunned.

[Eater of Clowns]

IT'S FUNNY YOU MENTIONED LEFT OUT AND SHUNNED, NIGEL, BECAUSE I ASKED HERR TRIX TO DO THAT ONLINE HOROSCOPEY THING HE DID WITH IPTUOUS AND HE DIDN'T.  HE JUST KEEPS TALKING TO IPTUOUS.  WHY IS HE EVEN TALKING TO IPTUOUS?  IPTUOUS IS TERRIBLE (serious Ippie we're still cool).

[Eve]

STOP WANTING SO MUCH ATTENTION EOC, JEEZ.

Every time a noob shows up with a chip on their shoulder and the determination to take someone down a peg or two, it's about Roger. EVERY SINGLE TIME.

It's starting to give the rest of us a complex, frankly.

So true, Nigel! I mean, what the fuck. I know my rampant emote posts are highly controversial and still I hear nothing about them. Nothing. What is this shit?


Trix, shut the fuck up and go smoke a bowl already.

[Elder Iptuous]

...IPTUOUS IS TERRIBLE (serious Ippie we're still cool).

Too late!
my butt!
it is hurt!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

IT'S FUNNY YOU MENTIONED LEFT OUT AND SHUNNED, NIGEL, BECAUSE I ASKED HERR TRIX TO DO THAT ONLINE HOROSCOPEY THING HE DID WITH IPTUOUS AND HE DIDN'T.  HE JUST KEEPS TALKING TO IPTUOUS.  WHY IS HE EVEN TALKING TO IPTUOUS?  IPTUOUS IS TERRIBLE (serious Ippie we're still cool).

IT'S NOT FAIR, EOC.  WHY ARE WE BEING NEGLECTED?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

STOP WANTING SO MUCH ATTENTION EOC, JEEZ.

Every time a noob shows up with a chip on their shoulder and the determination to take someone down a peg or two, it's about Roger. EVERY SINGLE TIME.

It's starting to give the rest of us a complex, frankly.

So true, Nigel! I mean, what the fuck. I know my rampant emote posts are highly controversial and still I hear nothing about them. Nothing. What is this shit?


Trix, shut the fuck up and go smoke a bowl already.

If it makes you feel any better, almost every single one of your posts throws me into a helpless, apoplectic rage. It's a wonder I don't shit myself every time I see your avatar at the top of a post.

[Eve]

STOP WANTING SO MUCH ATTENTION EOC, JEEZ.

Every time a noob shows up with a chip on their shoulder and the determination to take someone down a peg or two, it's about Roger. EVERY SINGLE TIME.

It's starting to give the rest of us a complex, frankly.

So true, Nigel! I mean, what the fuck. I know my rampant emote posts are highly controversial and still I hear nothing about them. Nothing. What is this shit?


Trix, shut the fuck up and go smoke a bowl already.

If it makes you feel any better, almost every single one of your posts throws me into a helpless, apoplectic rage. It's a wonder I don't shit myself every time I see your avatar at the top of a post.

It does make me feel better, thanks!  ..Ahem. I mean, GO FUCK YOURSELF NIGEL I DON'T NEED YOUR STINKING UNDERSTANDING. I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON A BUNCH OF RUBBER DICKS. MY AVATAR BETTER MAKE YOU SHIT BRICKS! YOU KNOW, BEING THE TWIN OF YOUR AVATAR AND ALL. SHIT. BRICKS. NIGEL!

Incidentally, being an Authority On Dildos and all, I'm finding it a lot harder to use them effectively in my insults.

[Luna]

...IPTUOUS IS TERRIBLE (serious Ippie we're still cool).

Too late!
my butt!
it is hurt!

Of course it is, poor, sweet, innocent Ippie...

IT'S FUNNY YOU MENTIONED LEFT OUT AND SHUNNED, NIGEL, BECAUSE I ASKED HERR TRIX TO DO THAT ONLINE HOROSCOPEY THING HE DID WITH IPTUOUS AND HE DIDN'T.  HE JUST KEEPS TALKING TO IPTUOUS.  WHY IS HE EVEN TALKING TO IPTUOUS?  IPTUOUS IS TERRIBLE (serious Ippie we're still cool).

IT'S NOT FAIR, EOC.   WHY ARE WE BEING NEGLECTED?

Because they're scared speechless of you both.  A few moments of lurking would uncover how terrible your wrath can be...

Well, it'd also uncover the fact that walking into this forum, e-peen waving like a teeny, tiny flag, posting "look at ME, look, I'm a horrible cunt, TOO!" will get them soundly scorned... but, well, just shows you who doesn't bother to take the temperature of the pool before leaping into the deep end.  Some might surface, others...

Well, it's good we've got a good filter on the pool.  (We've gotta, just to deal with the shed back hair...)

[trix]

...IPTUOUS IS TERRIBLE (serious Ippie we're still cool).

Too late!
my butt!
it is hurt!

Of course it is, poor, sweet, innocent Ippie...

IT'S FUNNY YOU MENTIONED LEFT OUT AND SHUNNED, NIGEL, BECAUSE I ASKED HERR TRIX TO DO THAT ONLINE HOROSCOPEY THING HE DID WITH IPTUOUS AND HE DIDN'T.  HE JUST KEEPS TALKING TO IPTUOUS.  WHY IS HE EVEN TALKING TO IPTUOUS?  IPTUOUS IS TERRIBLE (serious Ippie we're still cool).

IT'S NOT FAIR, EOC.  WHY ARE WE BEING NEGLECTED?

Because they're scared speechless of you both.  A few moments of lurking would uncover how terrible your wrath can be...

Well, it'd also uncover the fact that walking into this forum, e-peen waving like a teeny, tiny flag, posting "look at ME, look, I'm a horrible cunt, TOO!" will get them soundly scorned... but, well, just shows you who doesn't bother to take the temperature of the pool before leaping into the deep end.  Some might surface, others...

Well, it's good we've got a good filter on the pool.  (We've gotta, just to deal with the shed back hair...)

I did look up EOC, and you are correct as to why I haven't started that fire as of yet.  It might take me awhile to gear up enough to attempt that much fun.

As for "your mom".  Well, your "I want some attention too plz" bait simply wasn't as attractive to my mood as Iptuous.

Speaking of Iptuous, yes, you are correct, I did state that clearly.  And then I responded to your mild insult with an offer of friendship.  TAKE THAT, BITCH!

Luna, while my responses ITT weren't intended as e-penis waving attention whoring so much as RL frustration venting and my own way of testing the waters, I can see how it appears that way.  Twas mostly my mood after hours of calculus homework though.  Either way, however, I don't see this sound scorning you speak of.  In fact most of you seem to have taken my attention whoring rather well, all things considered.  Which is a bit disappointing, as I was rather hoping for some heated cockfights.  Ah well, maybe I should fuck with EOC after all.  But damnit, his prior posts show him slinging words like some kind of literary Roland.

Anyway, what the fuck kind of a nickname is "Your mom"?  That shit was mildly clever back in the beginning of IRC when people would change their nick to Your_mom so they could /me some funny emotes, but years later with bash.org making sure it's old for everyone now, it's unoriginal and fucking stupid.  And your attempts to draw attention to yourself are far more blatant then mine, you all-caps-using special-olympic bandwagon riding moron.  Besides, my reply to you WAS me taking a shot at you, you just didn't give me much to go on.  Perhaps I was too subtle?

- trix

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Perhaps I was too subtle?

- trix

Wherein 'subtle' means 'unimaginative' and 'same shit, different dickhead'. You, sir, need to step up your game if you wish to make an impression. Come now, this place has standards.

[Eater of Clowns]

I did look up EOC, and you are correct as to why I haven't started that fire as of yet.  It might take me awhile to gear up enough to attempt that much fun.

Nobody is ready for this much fun.

Sometimes I'm having so much fun that I just puke all over.  But fun puke, you know?  Toxic amounts of fun, of the sort that is glorious and terrifying to behold.  And people look at it and they think, "You know, that looks like fun," and they think about it for a while and they finally say, "that looks like the kind of fun that someone else is better off having."  I'm that someone else.

The great thing is, I don't actually need to be having fun for this to happen.  Fun is just what happens when I do anything at all; a byproduct much like another person would produce sweat or mucus.  I produce sweat and mucus, but it's Fun Sweat, and Fun Mucus, and Fun Jizz.

I eat Fun Dip and it just seems average.  When people say "Let's have some fun," it sounds to me like they're saying "let's breath some oxygen."  Not in the sense that it's normal, but in the sense of oxygen poisoning.

[trix]

There's an old saying where I'm from, known only by the oldest of us.  Fortunately, I'm still young, so I don't know it yet.  But when I grow old and this gem of wisdom spontaneously appears in my memory banks, assuming my memory still works after that many years of pot smoking, I'm going to come back here and throw it IN YOUR FACE, FUCKER!

[Triple Zero]

Since he just said it was Reverend <something-or-other> and the topic is cannabis abuse, I assumed he was talking about Reverend What's-His-Name?

But it could also be Roger. It could be either. It really doesn't really matter, right?

The point is that everybody else is feeling shunned and left out unless we retroactively put Reverend in our nickname.

- the Triple Reverend Zero