Japanese Scientists Take Your Poop and Make

[Freeky]

I'd eat poop-beef.

At least twice, anyway.

GIGGLES will be dancing in the streets.

Nobody wants to see that.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

I can see America having Shit-Beef in a deli. Every time a customer comes up wanting some roast beef they'll ask why it isn't leaking red but brown instead. And every time the clerks have to explain that it's shitmeat. It leaks shit. Real roast beef leaks blood. :P This ain't that.

And then they'll say "Oh, okay. I'll have the shitbeef anyway, it's a dollar cheaper."

[Don Coyote]

I'd eat poop-beef.

At least twice, anyway.

GIGGLES will be dancing in the streets.

Nobody wants to see that.

Now I need to wipe down my monitor.

[Disco Pickle]

It's gotten to the point where the headline "Japanese Scientists Discover..." is one of the scariest things on the planet.  Nothing good has recently followed the words "Japanese Scientists Discover"

[Doktor Howl]

It's gotten to the point where the headline "Japanese Scientists Discover..." is one of the scariest things on the planet.  Nothing good has recently followed the words "Japanese Scientists Discover"

Balls.  Headlines from google below.

"Japanese scientists discover genes that enable type-2 diabetes" --->  They're making diabetics faster & more efficiently now, through the wonders of SCIENCE!

Japanese Scientists Discover New Planet  --->  We now have .88 more planets we'll never go to.

Scientists discover deepest-living fish (no, you can't eat it as sushi) --->  Because we needed more aquatic horror shows.

Japanese Scientists Discover Yet Another Taste --->  There is now one more way for things to taste like ass!

Japanese Scientists Discover Secret Of Dolphin Speed  --->  Soon to be applied to condoms!

Scientists Discover Giant Holes in the Sun --->  Yep, the sun sprung a leak.  We're all fucked.

There's plenty more, too.

[Lord Cataplanga]

The Yes Men already made a parody of this a few years ago.

How long until Japanese Scientists discover how to make Vivoleum?

[BabylonHoruv]

Unless they bring the price down to considerably below that of real meat I can't see this going anywhere.  Although it might sell to some vegetarians.  Environmentalists just aren't that dedicated,usually, and coprophiliacs want it to taste like shit.

[Jenne]

Might grab people who DON'T KNOW what it is.  "It's a new-fangled recipe by them Pharmaceutical companies.  Called 'Nu-Beefe.' Says here it's got electrolytes and Omega-5s."

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

[Jenne]

Oh, they'll add calcium and fiber, as well, I bet.

 If they REALLY wanted to market it, they'd sell it as a fad diet.

"SHITBURGER DIET--GET SKINNY EATING SHIT-for-BEEF!"

[Telarus]

Whole new meaning to "Shit on a Shingle", eh?

[Jenne]

Whole new meaning to "Shit on a Shingle", eh?

Aw, man...and I used to LIKE that dish. 

[Cramulus]

Now visualize the opening scene of Waterworld --
--  but Kevin Costner has one of these machines instead of the device that turns pee into drinkable water.

[Captain Swampass]

I'm going to start taking bets on how long it'll take for Taco Bell to stick this stuff inside of their mexican themed cardboard!

[LMNO]

I'm going to start taking bets on how long it'll take for Taco Bell to stick this stuff inside of their mexican themed cardboard!

My guess?  Twelve years ago.