Awful Jokes thread (Callahan Crosstime Saloon)

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

ah hate yew

I was so mad I read that whole thing for a pun....

RWHN however is probably cackling somewhere.

[Telarus]

Heisenberg and Schrödinger are driving in a car and they get pulled over. The police officer asks, "Do you know how fast you were going?" and Heisenberg says, "Well, not really, but I can tell you exactly where I was."

The officer thinks that this peculiar response is grounds for a search, and he finds a dead cat in the trunk, and he says, "Do you guys know that there's a dead cat in your trunk?!" Schrödinger replies, "Um, now I do."

Add to this Terry Pratchett's angry quote from Death:  "Well, is it alive or dead?  I have a schedule to keep!"

Frankenjoke posted to FB. 10 likes in 5 minutes.

[Idem]

Shortly after the Korean War, the son of then South Korean President Syngman Rhee was hired as a Life Magazine correspondent. The younger Rhee was a remarkably kind, gentle and considerate man, but he had one problem: He loved to drink and sometimes was gone on a bender for days. On one occasion, Rhee was missing for three days before someone at the magazine's office finally suggested they look for him. Other correspondents and even the police were involved in the search. Finally, about two weeks later, a policeman walked into a tavern, looked at the man slumped over the bar and cried, "Ah, Sweet Mr. Rhee of Life, at last I've found you."