And Then, Suu, There's The Women

[Doktor Howl]

doc...i've dated most of them ...cept the drunk and a couple others. 

The drunk is a nightmare.

[Bu🤠ns]

Lol my god i dont even want to imagine

[Laughin Jude]

On the flip side, I've had a few guys pretend to want to be my friend only to dump me when I wasn't interested in having sex with them. That really hurt my feelings and made me more suspicious, in a way that still kind of stings to this day. I really liked them as people and believed they really liked me as a person, so when it turned out that wasn't the case it threw me for a loop, hard.

You can't just manufacture an attraction where there is none.

Oh, that's just dirty pool. 

And there's definitely room for platonic friends of the opposite sex (or same sex if that's your thing) whom you're just not attracted to that way. I'm a heterosexual guy, but a lot of my best friends over the course of my life have been girls, and believe it or not I haven't wanted to have sex with most of them (or well, not most of the time... hormones, you know). I really value having female friends and do my best not to fuck those friendships up.*

That said, speaking as a guy, there's something you see all the time with some (not all) women: the moment a guy becomes her friend, he's automatically off the table as far as anything else goes. It's kinda baffling. (And no, I am not going to espouse Ladder Theory.)

*For the record, I'm actually right now very slowly starting to date my female best friend... but it's one of those situations where our friendship has kind of evolved over the past few years, and though I've been pretty up-front about my feelings for her lately and she hasn't run away yet--and has even been kind of cautiously responsive to my advances--her latest ex was an emotionally/psychologically abusive fuck and she's trying to put her life back together after leaving him a couple months ago, so right now my major goal is being the friend she needs and helping her rebuild her shattered self-esteem more than anything else. She knows I care about her, and it's kind of one of those "I'm gonna be here when you're ready to try it again" kinds of things. But that's a whole other topic...

The friend though, Im convinced, is merely just due to a fellow who can't seem to close.  Sometimes she just waiting for that bold move.  Any time I've "The Friend" was due to my inability to read her or a certain lack of effort on my own part

That does happen too. I've seen it. When I was a lot younger and didn't know what the fuck I was doing when it came to relationships, I did it.  Sometimes it's the man not having any balls, definitely. But that's not the only reason it happens; sometimes it really is the woman just not knowing a good man when one's sitting next to her.

[Bu🤠ns]

Of course there are exceptions What I realized is that most women operate under a mindet of abundance.  Guys have to contend with that an if the dude assumes his scarcity reality, he's doomed from the start.  At that point he's probably demonstrated little value other than being "a good listener." 

[Ambassador KLOK KAOS]

I'd put my ex's type type in there too, for the sake of completeness (even though she demonstrated many of those other undesirable qualities frequently).

Batshit crazy. 

I'm not talking like the obsessed one already posted, but someone who is deeply disconnected from reality.  She was also pretty hot, so... no, it totally wasn't worth it.

Anecdote just for the sake helping define the archetype:

She called me up out of the blue after years of not speaking (she had thrown me out in the street years before in the middle of the night, very far away from friends and family) and did the whole ex routine...

So I took a 4 hour roadtrip on the chance I'd get some pussy that would be easy.  Got down there, to meet her huge boyfriend, who wasn't aware she was inviting me over to get rid of him. She'd left that tiny detail out and wondered why I was mad.  I was also supposed to be throwing him out and he paid her bills... yeah...

Anyhow that's only 1 of several dozen crazy batshit insane stunts she pulled before I decided never again.

Thankfully now I have a really good woman that's awesome to me routinely.  It was actually really weird at first for me having a functional relationship for the first time, but I totally got over that.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

On the "friend" side, I have also more than once been the friend who fell in love, only to be rejected. I don't think it's because the guys were stupid or deluded, I think it's because you really just can't manufacture attraction on demand. I actually think that's a lot of what's going on with me and Mr. Language; I feel that way for him, and he might have wanted to feel that way for me but he just doesn't.

Sometimes the Nice Guy just doesn't want the girl.

[Suu]

On the "friend" side, I have also more than once been the friend who fell in love, only to be rejected. I don't think it's because the guys were stupid or deluded, I think it's because you really just can't manufacture attraction on demand. I actually think that's a lot of what's going on with me and Mr. Language; I feel that way for him, and he might have wanted to feel that way for me but he just doesn't.

Sometimes the Nice Guy just doesn't want the girl.

Yep.

[Luna]

On the "friend" side, I have also more than once been the friend who fell in love, only to be rejected. I don't think it's because the guys were stupid or deluded, I think it's because you really just can't manufacture attraction on demand. I actually think that's a lot of what's going on with me and Mr. Language; I feel that way for him, and he might have wanted to feel that way for me but he just doesn't.

Sometimes the Nice Guy just doesn't want the girl.

[Juana]

As someone who might look like the Friend (pretty much everyone I've ever turned down has been a friend, but each time I had a legitimate reason), it could be that the Friend has reasons she's not sure how to articulate, so she uses an easy out. I don't have that problem, but other women might.

[Ambassador KLOK KAOS]

I think it's because you women really just can't manufacture attraction on demand.

This is the core of that issue right there.

Women are like slow moving dials with their attraction, men are like light switches.  That's a simplified generalization and if you pick it apart it doesn't make it less true.

Criteria for attraction is generally the same as well, but to different degrees.

For example, women tend to place less focus on physical aspects than men do.  Not always the case, but that's the general current of the river.

Also this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqXi8WmQ_WM

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I think it's because you women really just can't manufacture attraction on demand.

This is the core of that issue right there.

Women are like slow moving dials with their attraction, men are like light switches.  That's a simplified generalization and if you pick it apart it doesn't make it less true.

Criteria for attraction is generally the same as well, but to different degrees.

For example, women tend to place less focus on physical aspects than men do.  Not always the case, but that's the general current of the river.

Also this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqXi8WmQ_WM

So, you're saying that the friends I fell for who turned me down COULD have manufactured attraction for me, but chose not to? 

[Ambassador KLOK KAOS]

So, you're saying that the friends I fell for who turned me down COULD have manufactured attraction for me, but chose not to?  

I'm not guaranteeing that, but as a general rule, if you put a beer in a man's stomach (providing he's not revolted by your appearance) and then you grab his dick and put it in your mouth (also assuming there isn't other complications like he's secretly dating your sister or w/e) then he'd much more apt to "manufacture" that attraction (unless of course, he's a total pussy, at which point, what the fuck are you sucking his dick for?).

If it works out after that, that's a whole different story.  That really depends on compatibility.  If a man now comes in and debates this fact, they are in fact, gay, even if they are married with 22 children.

Men are pretty simple creatures.  Provided the woman isn't psycho or fugly and is reasonably responsible and puts out, that's probably 80% of the battle right there.  

There is one big exception to this of course, and that's if the "MAN" you are trying to date is actually a "BOY".  Children are not capable of having adult relationships.  Same applies for the woman though.  If you're not together you can't have a responsible adult relationship either.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

That's revolting, and I don't think the men you know are anything like the men I know.

[Ambassador KLOK KAOS]

That's revolting, and I don't think the men you know are anything like the men I know.

This is quite possible.  The fact that you're revolted though makes me question WHY that is.  I probably shouldn't go down this road though.  I get the feeling you'll get offended eventually and I'm not in that market in this particular circumstance.

[Suu]

So, you're saying that the friends I fell for who turned me down COULD have manufactured attraction for me, but chose not to?  

I'm not guaranteeing that, but as a general rule, if you put a beer in a man's stomach (providing he's not revolted by your appearance) and then you grab his dick and put it in your mouth (also assuming there isn't other complications like he's secretly dating your sister or w/e) then he'd much more apt to "manufacture" that attraction (unless of course, he's a total pussy, at which point, what the fuck are you sucking his dick for?).

If it works out after that, that's a whole different story.  That really depends on compatibility.  If a man now comes in and debates this fact, they are in fact, gay, even if they are married with 22 children.

Men are pretty simple creatures.  Provided the woman isn't psycho or fugly and is reasonably responsible and puts out, that's probably 80% of the battle right there.  

There is one big exception to this of course, and that's if the "MAN" you are trying to date is actually a "BOY".  Children are not capable of having adult relationships.  Same applies for the woman though.  If you're not together you can't have a responsible adult relationship either.

No. No they aren't. They just think on different wavelengths.