And Then, Suu, There's The Women

[Eater of Clowns]

Yeah, AKK's got it.

If a woman can't attract a man, it's her fault.  She just needs to suck some dick, be ready with his slippers and a cocktail when he gets home, and make sure those steaks are cooked a proper medium rare.

Simple.  Now get on it, subservient PD bitches!

WHY DOESN'T AKK HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?

This is the question of the century.  It's fucking bewildering.

Well women are complicated.  When you're out all day working up a man sized appetite, they're at home watching television and wanting all the new appliances they keep coming out with.  How's a guy supposed to keep up with that kind of demand?

[Cain]

It's like an outlandish version of Lies, here to tell us how men and women really behave!

[Doktor Howl]

It's like an outlandish version of Lies, here to tell us how men and women really behave!

No more need for peer-reviewed journals or even introspection!  Doctor LOVE is here to tell us that it's all about blowjobs and keeping the house clean!

[Salty]

After using the AKK-Method For Improving Ladytime Superfun Experience Hour I am exhausted. The ladies just keep offering me pie and bjs. I have seventeen wives spread across the country that won't get off my shit and they're all 11's yeah that's right uh-huh aww yeah.


YOU NEVER TOLD ME HOW TO STOP, AKK, YOU NEVER TOLD ME HOW TO STOP!

[Phox]

It's like an outlandish version of Lies, here to tell us how men and women really behave!

No more need for peer-reviewed journals or even introspection!  Doctor LOVE is here to tell us that it's all about blowjobs and keeping the house clean!

Nope, it's just.

Suck dick. Be hot. Cook with plenty of lard and butter. Get man. It's that easy.

[Phox]

After using the AKK-Method For Improving Ladytime Superfun Experience Hour I am exhausted. The ladies just keep offering me pie and bjs. I have seventeen wives spread across the country that won't get off my shit and they're all 11's yeah that's right uh-huh aww yeah.


YOU NEVER TOLD ME HOW TO STOP, AKK, YOU NEVER TOLD ME HOW TO STOP!

You can't stop. Yuo have officially become a sexmachine. The only way to stop is to kill them. Where do you think the term ladykiller came from?

[Doktor Howl]

After using the AKK-Method For Improving Ladytime Superfun Experience Hour I am exhausted. The ladies just keep offering me pie and bjs. I have seventeen wives spread across the country that won't get off my shit and they're all 11's yeah that's right uh-huh aww yeah.


YOU NEVER TOLD ME HOW TO STOP, AKK, YOU NEVER TOLD ME HOW TO STOP!

AND THEN ALTY GOT SUCKED INTO THE PALIN CLAN, AND WAS NEVER SEEN AGAIN.  

[Cain]

It's like an outlandish version of Lies, here to tell us how men and women really behave!

No more need for peer-reviewed journals or even introspection!  Doctor LOVE is here to tell us that it's all about blowjobs and keeping the house clean!

At least Lies delivery was not quite this condescending or blatantly sexist.

After using the AKK-Method For Improving Ladytime Superfun Experience Hour I am exhausted. The ladies just keep offering me pie and bjs. I have seventeen wives spread across the country that won't get off my shit and they're all 11's yeah that's right uh-huh aww yeah.


YOU NEVER TOLD ME HOW TO STOP, AKK, YOU NEVER TOLD ME HOW TO STOP!

You've married too much and now you can't tell the difference! [/old meme]

[Salty]

After using the AKK-Method For Improving Ladytime Superfun Experience Hour I am exhausted. The ladies just keep offering me pie and bjs. I have seventeen wives spread across the country that won't get off my shit and they're all 11's yeah that's right uh-huh aww yeah.


YOU NEVER TOLD ME HOW TO STOP, AKK, YOU NEVER TOLD ME HOW TO STOP!

AND THEN ALTY GOT SUCKED INTO THE PALIN CLAN, AND WAS NEVER SEEN AGAIN.   

They are a picky bunch. They won't just take anybody. You have to make sure you're not too appealing and irresistible or they GET you. A dab will do you.

[Doktor Howl]

After using the AKK-Method For Improving Ladytime Superfun Experience Hour I am exhausted. The ladies just keep offering me pie and bjs. I have seventeen wives spread across the country that won't get off my shit and they're all 11's yeah that's right uh-huh aww yeah.


YOU NEVER TOLD ME HOW TO STOP, AKK, YOU NEVER TOLD ME HOW TO STOP!

AND THEN ALTY GOT SUCKED INTO THE PALIN CLAN, AND WAS NEVER SEEN AGAIN.   

They are a picky bunch. They won't just take anybody. You have to make sure you're not too appealing and irresistible or they GET you. A dab will do you.

Alty:  The Granola Cereal of Alaska.

[Ambassador KLOK KAOS]

That's revolting, and I don't think the men you know are anything like the men I know.

This is quite possible.  The fact that you're revolted though makes me question WHY that is.  I probably shouldn't go down this road though.  I get the feeling you'll get offended eventually and I'm not in that market in this particular circumstance.

Because the scenario I mentioned was in being the friend who fell in love, and the feeling wasn't mutual even though the guys it's happened with were close friends and we are very compatible. You essentially just suggested that I get a good friend drunk and suck his dick in order to get him to become romantically interested in me. There are so many flaws in that idea, STARTING WITH CONSENT, that I don't even know where to begin. If the man has already said no, going for his zipper becomes sexual assault.

Also, getting a guy drunk and sucking his dick to INITIATE a relationship is... pathetic. Gross. Trashy.

That may be how you roll, but it sure isn't how I roll.

to initiate a relationship, yes, but to initiate an attraction, that's what I was getting at.  You can call it trashy if you like, but that's kind of subjective.  I wouldn't think it was if everything worked out fine and a healthy relationship resulted.  It was just a concession on your part.  

If on the other hand you go out and get shit faced every weekend and blow a dozen guys, that's a different scenario, but if you do care about someone, you should comfortable with the idea of engaging in sexuality with them.  

The suggestion made was assumed, possibly wrongly on my part, to be understood that it would have to be modified for circumstance.  If you feel something is trashy or wrong then you make the judgement call.  I would assume the disclaimer of "use your judgement" was implicit though.

The core of the strategy though, lies not in the beer or the sucking of the dick.  That's just the crass and hyperbolic way of putting it.  To understand the key of it you have to get what is going on said token interaction.  Easing tension and becoming comfortable is the first step, followed by the well prepared advance.  

Further, someone saying no once doesn't necessarily imply everything you might be assuming it does.

What if he was scared of having a successful relationship?  Or maybe he was trying to bone the hot chic at the corner store that week.  You don't know, but if this is frequent issue, and you do assume to be proposing it is, then you want to analyze the technique, but remember, it's not the words, and it doesn't require beer or dick sucking (Again, this was assumed to be obviously hyperbolic) but it does require the elements I described above.

Culture will also have an effect here as well, and again, I assumed, incorrectly, this went without saying.

[Doktor Howl]

That's revolting, and I don't think the men you know are anything like the men I know.

This is quite possible.  The fact that you're revolted though makes me question WHY that is.  I probably shouldn't go down this road though.  I get the feeling you'll get offended eventually and I'm not in that market in this particular circumstance.

Because the scenario I mentioned was in being the friend who fell in love, and the feeling wasn't mutual even though the guys it's happened with were close friends and we are very compatible. You essentially just suggested that I get a good friend drunk and suck his dick in order to get him to become romantically interested in me. There are so many flaws in that idea, STARTING WITH CONSENT, that I don't even know where to begin. If the man has already said no, going for his zipper becomes sexual assault.

Also, getting a guy drunk and sucking his dick to INITIATE a relationship is... pathetic. Gross. Trashy.

That may be how you roll, but it sure isn't how I roll.

to initiate a relationship, yes, but to initiate an attraction, that's what I was getting at.  You can call it trashy if you like, but that's kind of subjective.  I wouldn't think it was if everything worked out fine and a healthy relationship resulted.  It was just a concession on your part.  

If on the other hand you go out and get shit faced every weekend and blow a dozen guys, that's a different scenario, but if you do care about someone, you should comfortable with the idea of engaging in sexuality with them.  

The suggestion made was assumed, possibly wrongly on my part, to be understood that it would have to be modified for circumstance.  If you feel something is trashy or wrong then you make the judgement call.  I would assume the disclaimer of "use your judgement" was implicit though.

The core of the strategy though, lies not in the beer or the sucking of the dick.  That's just the crass and hyperbolic way of putting it.  To understand the key of it you have to get what is going on said token interaction.  Easing tension and becoming comfortable is the first step, followed by the well prepared advance.  

Further, someone saying no once doesn't necessarily imply everything you might be assuming it does.

What if he was scared of having a successful relationship?  Or maybe he was trying to bone the hot chic at the corner store that week.  You don't know, but if this is frequent issue, and you do assume to be proposing it is, then you want to analyze the technique, but remember, it's not the words, and it doesn't require beer or dick sucking (Again, this was assumed to be obviously hyperbolic) but it does require the elements I described above.

Culture will also have an effect here as well, and again, I assumed, incorrectly, this went without saying.

LINK TO A PEER-REVIEWED STUDY ON SUCKING DICK AND COOKING WITH BUTTER.

NOW.

[Ambassador KLOK KAOS]

Link to a peer-reviewed study or YOU are the fucking exception, you asshole.

I will except this, but also propose the same challenge and conclusion to you as well.

This is because the task is not a reliable study.  Love and attraction is complex and intangible.  Studies on it yield grey, convoluted results.  I have stated my statements were broad sweeping generalizations.  That's all the disclaimer you should need.  You can write it off if you want, your choice.

[Doktor Howl]

JESUS CHRIST ON A POGO STICK!  IT'S ALL SO FUCKING OBVIOUS, NOW!  10,000 YEARS OF PEOPLE WONDERING HOW THE OTHER HALF TICKS, AND HOW TO ATTRACT THE PERFECT MATE, AND IT ALL COMES DOWN TO COOKING WITH BUTTER WHILE GIVING BLOWJOBS!  WELL, HOT DAMN AND HOLY CHRISTMAS, I'M OFF TO MARRY COURTNEY LOVE!  SHE'S SUCKED MORE DICK THAN BARNEY FRANK!  IF I CAN GET BARBARA STREISAND TO GIVE HER COOKING LESSONS, I AM FUCKING SET FOR LIFE.

THANK YOU, AKK!

[Ambassador KLOK KAOS]

Yeah, AKK's got it.

If a woman can't attract a man, it's her fault.  She just needs to suck some dick, be ready with his slippers and a cocktail when he gets home, and make sure those steaks are cooked a proper medium rare.

Simple.  Now get on it, subservient PD bitches!

WHY DOESN'T AKK HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?

This is the question of the century.  It's fucking bewildering.

Might wanna fact check that.  

Let me help:

We've been together a year and a half and are happy together and have plans to continue to share our lives together.