CHAOS ALCHEMY!

[B23.77]

People are dying because they're being hypnotized to believe that twinkies, spam, and cigarettes are bad for you.  All you have to do is BELIEVE that so-called unhealthy foods are actually good.  The un in unhealthy actaullly stands for united nutritiousness.  Pigs eat donuts and pigs are good.  They're healthy as a slab of bacon.  We need more people going out and buying u.n.healthy foods to BELIEVE that they are actually the secret to eternal life.  The more BELIEVErs, the more powerful it will be.  BELIEVE in U.N.health.  This might or might not be a conspiracy to strengthen the united nations.  More power to the spammers!  Glut and live forever!  Weehaw!  Then after eating the u.n.healthy foods, you will lay an extraordinarilyy black egg.  This egg is ETERNAL!  Food into turd.  Magic!  And don't forget to buy immortality rings!

[Horab Fibslager]

i'meatign U.N healthy right now.

[B23.77]

Actually I think you could probably be immortal by eating an apple of life.  The hard part is discerning between the apples of life and the apples of knowledge.  Sometimes they're hybrids; the knowledge apples and the life apples, but since all knowledge is poisonous, you gotta find the most mindless, full of life apple, which would be the equivilant of putting a bullet through your head, which might be another way to eternal life.  Is the apple of Eris the mindless apple, or the lifeless apple, or is she some sort of mutant hybrid?

[Bella]

Good point regarding the discernment issue. To compound this problem, it's quite common to actually graft one type of apple onto another type of apple tree. This is a very tricksy matter, as one could reasonably believe one was picking and eating an apple of life, but in reality it would be an apple of knowledge.

[Horab Fibslager]

i ocne ate an apple of pwnage. i won it in a poker game...

[Felix]

Sometimes I carve K's into my apples and eat them.

And look smart the entire time, too. ^_^

[Rupert Giles]

Sometimes I carve K's into my apples and eat them.

And look smart the entire time, too. ^_^

Long have a searched for a Master whose |33tness was greater than mine own.

*Drops to knees and worships*

Make me your disciple!

[~~~~Closed~~~~]

Long have a searched for a Master whose |33tness was greater than mine own.

It's not much of a search.

[Horab Fibslager]

my 5 or 6 year old sister is much 1337er, but whatever. it don't take much as the ol padre said.

[Rupert Giles]

my 5 or 6 year old sister is much 1337er, but whatever. it don't take much as the ol padre said.

I have the Greatest |33t Master of all as my Sensei currently.

The Dread Pirate Ninja H4x0r Josh.

Wherever he is, whoever he's shagging, however many times he's tried to kill Anthony today, my heart goes out to him.  Along with my Kidneys and my spleen.

Never should have singed that contract...

Stupid contract.  Piece of the Gross.  The Net is Fantasy.

[Felix]

Sorry, I don't have enough certainty about anything to discipe.  


Or whatever the verb for disciple is.

[Little kitty garfield]

Sorry, I don't have enough certainty about anything to discipe.  


Or whatever the verb for disciple is.

To mindfuck

[Felix]

That hasn't the professinal ring to it.  How 'bout mindfornicate?  Neural copulation?  Hmm.

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

I mindfornicate all the time.

I also smoke a lot of health enhancing cigarettes.

So, there.

[bob]

thank you for your grandmotherly kindness