For those of you who want to know what happened to Susan,

[Freeky]

[Freeky]

Be prepared for more of similar, PD, if my demands are not met.

[Pæs]

GODDAMN IT. There goes the keyboard... and my drink.

Was especially surreal for the inclusion of Matt Mulholland, who is a friend of a friend, so I'm not used to seeing him pop up on the internet all over the place.

Also, Susan is DAMN FINE.

[Pæs]

 
WE NOW BRING YOU AN UPDATE ON TODAY'S TOP STORY.

STRANGE DOORKNOB-RELATED SHIT CONTINUES TO PLAGUE THE INTERNETS AS A DIRECT RESULT OF FREEKY'S DISPLEASURE.
INTERBUTTS AUTHORITIES ARE STILL INVESTIGATING THE CAUSE OF THESE BIZARRE HAPPENINGS, BUT IT IS BELIEVED THAT SOMEBODY FED HER AFTER MIDNIGHT. CITIZENS ARE ADVISED TO REMAIN CALM AND SHOULD THEY COME IN CONTACT WITH ANY OF THE UNSETTLING MATERIAL, TO IMMEDIATELY REPORT TO THEIR LOCAL AUTHORITIES FOR DECONTAMINATION, LEST THEY BECOME UNWILLING HOSTS TO THIS MADNESS WHICH IS SWIFTLY TAKING OVER THE INTERJIZZ.

WE ASKED THIS GOAT EXPERT JUST WHAT THE SHIT IS GOING ON, BUT HE DIDN'T KNOW EITHER.


IF ANYONE KNOWS WHAT HER DEMANDS ARE, PLEASE ALERT SOMEBODY WHO CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
NOBODY HAS BEEN THIS DISTURBED SINCE GIGGLES WAS ACCIDENTALLY GIVEN A TALK SHOW.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

 

[Jenne]

Paes--that was great!

I fear for Susan.  She's getting in with the WRONG CROWD.

[Eve Hill]