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BREAKING: HORRIFIC CYBORG ANIMAL SPOTTED IN DOWN-TOWN PARKING LOT!

Started by Shibboleet The Annihilator, July 28, 2011, 05:18:55 PM

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Elder Iptuous

#30
July 29, 2011, 03:04:07 PM
a woodchuck is a groundhog, though....

Sir Squid Diddimus

#31
July 29, 2011, 03:05:10 PM
I'm not convinced. I still think it's a stink weezle.


Perhaps, some more explaining will change my mind.

Eater of Clowns

#32
July 29, 2011, 03:52:34 PM
Hey PD, you probably didn't know this about me, but I know a fuck lot about woodchucks?

Now you ask:  EoC, how do you know a fuck lot about woodchucks?  Do you breed them?  Do you have them as pets?  Were you some kind of animal science major?  Have you ever jerked them off for your professional career?

No.  I know a fuck lot about woodchucks because I come from a family of WOODCHUCK MURDERERING MOTHERFUCKERS, MOTHERFUCKERS.

My step mother used to keep sunflowers - and woodchucks kept eating them all.  That and all the other vegetables.  Well one day this baby woodchuck - itty little thing so cute - was sitting on a rock in the back yard.  My step mother wanted to scare it away so she threw a little rock at it.

SHE HIT THE MOTHERFUCKER IN THE HEAD.  It was unconscious.  So what did the cold sons of bitches at the EoC household do?  Did we call animal control?  Did we let it go far off the property?  No.  We filled a garbage barrel with water and we drowned the little bastard in a cage.

Still have wood chuck problems of course, they don't learn even if you string up their young's corpse on a pole as a lesson.  Those stupid fucking hobbits haven't been around to steal carrots in a while though.
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#33
July 29, 2011, 05:28:11 PM
 :lulz: This thread turned awesome.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Don Coyote

#34
July 29, 2011, 05:51:02 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on July 29, 2011, 02:12:36 PM
LISTEN YOU GREAT LOT OF SMARMY CUNTS

THIS IS NOT A GUESS THE MAMMAL DEMOCRACY - YOU CANNOT VOTE ENOUGH TO MAKE THAT THING LESS OF A WOODCHUCK.

IT'S NOT A GROUND HOG, OR A HEDGE HOG, OR A BALL HOG, OR A ROAD HOG

IT'S NOT A FUCKING CAT

IT IS A WOODCHUCK

AS IN:

HOW MUCH WOOD WOULD A WOOD CHUCK CHUCK IF A WOOD CHUCK CHUCK IF IT COULD CHEW THROUGH YOUR BLOCK FUCKING HEADS

THE ONLY WOOD I HAVE IS A HARD ON FROM THINKING ABOUT BLUDGEONING YOU ALL TO DEATH

WOODCHUCK  WOODCHUCK WOODCHUCK FUUUUUCK YOOUUUU

:mittens:

Quote from: Epimetheus on July 29, 2011, 02:18:38 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on July 29, 2011, 02:12:36 PM
THE ONLY WOOD I HAVE IS A HARD ON FROM THINKING ABOUT BLUDGEONING YOU ALL TO DEATH

...BH?

:spittake:


Quote from: Nigel on July 29, 2011, 05:28:11 PM
:lulz: This thread turned awesome.


YOU FUCKERS ALL OWE ME A COFFEE!!!! :argh!:

Jenne

#35
July 29, 2011, 05:58:17 PM
EoC feels about woodchucks as I do about crows.

:)

Jenne

#36
July 29, 2011, 05:59:11 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on July 29, 2011, 02:21:45 PM
Quote from: Epimetheus on July 29, 2011, 02:18:38 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on July 29, 2011, 02:12:36 PM
THE ONLY WOOD I HAVE IS A HARD ON FROM THINKING ABOUT BLUDGEONING YOU ALL TO DEATH

...BH?

YEAH CHECK OUT MY WRITING SAMPLE:

EMPIMETHEUPUSS WAS WALKING ON A SPACESHIP AND THEN I BEAT HIM TO DEATH WITH MY COCK THE END FUCK YOU.

:lulz:

Luna

#37
July 29, 2011, 06:04:59 PM
Coyote, your coffee will be at Pennsic, Saturday morning.  I will pour it with my own hands.  How do you take it?  Black?  Sugar?

Just come by and grab it.   :p
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Don Coyote

#38
July 29, 2011, 06:12:50 PM
Quote from: Luna on July 29, 2011, 06:04:59 PM
Coyote, your coffee will be at Pennsic, Saturday morning.  I will pour it with my own hands.  How do you take it?  Black?  Sugar?

Just come by and grab it.   :p

:argh!:

Luna

#39
July 29, 2011, 06:47:11 PM
Quote from: COL Coyote on July 29, 2011, 06:12:50 PM
Quote from: Luna on July 29, 2011, 06:04:59 PM
Coyote, your coffee will be at Pennsic, Saturday morning.  I will pour it with my own hands.  How do you take it?  Black?  Sugar?

Just come by and grab it.   :p

:argh!:

What?  You want cream, too?  :kiss:
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Disco Pickle

#40
July 29, 2011, 08:09:40 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on July 29, 2011, 03:52:34 PM
Hey PD, you probably didn't know this about me, but I know a fuck lot about woodchucks?

Now you ask:  EoC, how do you know a fuck lot about woodchucks?  Do you breed them?  Do you have them as pets?  Were you some kind of animal science major?  Have you ever jerked them off for your professional career?

No.  I know a fuck lot about woodchucks because I come from a family of WOODCHUCK MURDERERING MOTHERFUCKERS, MOTHERFUCKERS.

My step mother used to keep sunflowers - and woodchucks kept eating them all.  That and all the other vegetables.  Well one day this baby woodchuck - itty little thing so cute - was sitting on a rock in the back yard.  My step mother wanted to scare it away so she threw a little rock at it.

SHE HIT THE MOTHERFUCKER IN THE HEAD.  It was unconscious.  So what did the cold sons of bitches at the EoC household do?  Did we call animal control?  Did we let it go far off the property?  No.  We filled a garbage barrel with water and we drowned the little bastard in a cage.

Still have wood chuck problems of course, they don't learn even if you string up their young's corpse on a pole as a lesson.  Those stupid fucking hobbits haven't been around to steal carrots in a while though.




Oh, and finally broke my WOMP cherry. 

:jebus:

Felt inspired and had some down time at work.
"Events in the past may be roughly divided into those which probably never happened and those which do not matter." --William Ralph Inge

"sometimes someone confesses a sin in order to take credit for it." -- John Von Neumann

Triple Zero

#42
July 29, 2011, 09:30:36 PM
Quote from: Disco Pickle on July 29, 2011, 02:23:17 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on July 29, 2011, 02:19:25 PM
A woodchuck is a type of bird.

This is obviously a cat.

QED.


I think you're thinking of a woodpecker








lol..  pecker.

It's a cat. DOn't you know what QED means?! It means IM RIGHT.
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

Anna Mae Bollocks

#43
July 29, 2011, 09:30:50 PM
Nice WOMP, DP...

BUT THAT'S A HEDGEHOG
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Jenne

#44
July 29, 2011, 10:23:51 PM
:lulz:  You guys is just stirrin' da pot.
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